The Reality When You're Not Believed

[twinkler24]

I am a survivor of sexual assault on numerous occasions over a period of 2 years when I was between the ages of 10 and 12. I did the right thing and came forward when I was 17 and proceeded with the police. Everything was looking positive and things were looking good to find the man who I see as the devil to be guilty, it was definitely going to magistrates court until someone else came forward and said that he was abused by the same man. Having 2 people make accusations about 1 man took it to crown court where we had 15 charges to find him guilty on; the jury decided that he was not guilty for 4 charges and the remaining 11 charges came back inconclusive. The police applied for a retrial and it was granted, a retrial would take place 10 months after the first trial. The trial was over a period of 4 days and that's what the retrial was due to last, but on the first day of the retrial taking place, a day before I was due to go to court and give evidence, I received a phone call to say that the defence barrister argued legal rights all morning and persuaded the judge that it would be an unfair trial due to the jury found me to be 'lying' the first time round, and so the trial came to an abrupt end and the defender was allowed to walk free. I was left to pick up the pieces by myself. My whole world was torn apart and I felt shattered, nothing's changed and that's still the way I'm feeling, I feel betrayed by the legal system and believe there is no justice in this world! How do I get over this? How do I move on knowing that there's nothing more I can do to get piece for the pain and grief that I was put through? Please help!!

[Alicenomore]

believe me, I feel your pain it is absolutely rubbish. The innocent is made to feel guilty it is absolutely infuriating. I was also let down by the system, and I too still feel angry about that so I don't know what the answer is, but I do know that you are not alone and I hope there is still another way to get justice.

Alice

[twinkler24]

You're so right that is is infuriating and anger can't be helped, there are many times where I've wanted to hurt him myself, make him suffer as much as I have been for the past 9 years. I keep telling myself that karma will always come around and his time will come. I can't help but think there is no justice in this world.

Twinkler24

[~FOUND~]

I know how you feel.

[aa0]

Hey twinkler.

I'm so sorry this happened. I can't fathom why anyone would randomly lie about a thing like this. But be strong! Karma/the Universe WILL give him his just desserts. And while that's unfolding, you need to focus on picking yourself up, not letting him destroy you... You are worth more than that! You are an amazing person, and are brave, and strong. It's how you were made n nothing, no occurrence or person, can take that from you!

And you have support, from me and many others.

Safe hugs, if ok?

[twinkler24]

I have been working loads over this past 2 weeks and even though I am exhausted, it's been good. I've been keeping my mind off of things but there's only so much work that I can do to keep a clear head. Thanks for hugs x

[10yearssilence]

I am so sorry this happened to you. I had a similar experience. My abuser was originally arrested for attempting to abuse my then 17 year old niece, not me. It was only then that I came forward and said what he did to me over 10 years (something I will always regret).

It went to court and after many mess ups with CID and CPS my abuser was found not guilty on all 15 counts. To make it worse I was told by the receptionist. The police/court have never got back in contact with me. I gave my evidence via video link and remember the defence barrister continuously saying I was lying.

I felt and sometimes still do feel awful. My abuser still lives in my town we even have the same doctor. It has taken me a long time to come to terms with what happened but I am slowly understanding that this was not my fault. The jury for whatever reason could not comprehend that my abuser could have done those things (he's an old man, was a soldier etc). I do wonder if the outcome had been the same if the awareness around the jimmy saville case now was around back then.

You did not lie. You are so brave for doing what you did. Hardly an of these cases get to court. There will be a retrial and if he's found guilty they may even try him again for what he did to you. I have no such luck now but I know what happened. He knows what happened and karma doesn't suffer fools gladly.