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New, And Needing To Talk

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hey, im fern im new to the site and just need to talk to someone. its been 6 years since i was sexually abused. and have only recently come clean to my best friend, who sadly was raped 5 months ago, i was with her through everything, video interviews, fernensics, the night it happened, the morning after.. while she told her mum. everything. i was so proud of her for being able to tell her mum and try and get him put away, heres the sick bit. he got freed. even though they had all teh evdidence to prove for certain that he raped her. they let him go, becuase tehy said she couldnt handle a court case. :angry: i loved my dad to bits and i was so young i only did what he told me. and now, i am only comeing to terms really with what happened. and now i want to make sure he cant get to my sisters. i can now say, i dont love him, i just cant. and i never will be able 2 again. iv got so much baggage and its almost all due to him. not just the sexual abuse but what he's done in other cases. can anyone help me come to terms with it, and help me move on, cauz i just cant see a way out xxx

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Hi livelifethewayyouwant2 welcome to AS.I hope that you will soon feel at home here amongst us.I know sharing what you did took courage and is a very brave thing to do.I am sure here you will be able to read other peoples posts and that I hope it will help you in your healing.

Please take your time here,you can just read the forums and posts dont feel you have to post until you are ready or want to Button :)

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Hi Fern, welcome to the board!


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:hug: Welcome to AS, afraid I haven't got much advice right now, but of course if I feel I can help I will ... I hope that you find help being here and that sending hugs of support can be OK for now ... :hug::hug:
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Welcome Fern! :hug:

First off, I want to say that you are an amazingly strong woman to have been able to support your bestfriend through her own struggle. It is a horrible truth that things like this can happen over and over again and we can only be grateful to have friends who will guide us out of our darkness.

It has been seven years since my attack. Everyday I feel differently. Some days are easier then others but even after seven years, I still have very bad days. I don't think rape is something that we can ever entirely "recover" from or "come to terms" with. None of us deserve this and I am certain every one of us would like to be able to turn back time and change it but unfortunately we cannot. We must continue on with our lives and find strength in our pain.

It is ok to feel bad. It was a vital part of my healing that I accept my bad days along with my good. I wish there were something I could say to make things better for you, but I know there are no words in this world that can undo what has been done to you - just know that you are not alone and when you need a friendly ear to listen, I will be here.


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thankyou, i appriciate your warm welcomes, and i want to let you all know, i am here to support you to. and i am here to talk to as a friend to . :hug: many thanks xxxx

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I am sorry for the circumstances that have brought you to the forum. But welcome to the forum and I hope you are able to find the support you are seeking.

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welcome to AS Fern :bighug:


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  • 2 weeks later...

hi fern

welcome here. you are so brave, strong, and selfless to have stood beside your friend through her trauma, especially given that it must have triggered a lot of bad feelings for you. i agree that you will likely never get over what happened to you entirely, but i believe that you can move foward, and live a healthier and happier life. although you may still struggle with some guilt, i like that you posted that you were young and did what you told. you had no responsibility in what happened. it was not your fault, and i'm sorry you were taken advantage of like that. don't feel bad that you can't love him right now. you may never be able to, but what's important is learning to love yourself. that's a long and hard process, but we're here to help. looking foward to getting to know you.


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