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I Have No Where Else To Go

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I trusted someone, out of naivete and trust, who took advantage of me. He required me to have sex with him as part of work. He also took pictures and videos of me in compromising position... how stupid of me to allow that... in the name of psychotherapy and work... so that he can blackmail me or extort me or use against me should I come forward later.

I trusted what he was doing as part of therapy and healing... until later my family help me realize it was mind control, manipulation, unwanted sex, and harassment.

As part of therapy, he required me to give him my password to my emails. He found out about all my ex boyfriends and people that I've dated. He made me turn against them. He made me email or call them to say good bye, out of the blue, embarrassing myself. I did so unwillingly thinking it was part of therapy. He made me look into his eyes to try to "connect" with him, and force me to say I love you when I don't. What he tried to do, is mechanically take all the men out of my heart to forcefully fit only him inside.... which I realize way after the damage is done. there were other disgusting repulsive thing he tried to force on me but for sake of brevity I'll talk about them later. He said alot of things that he fail to do. He only talks enough to manipulate you, but he doesn't do them, doesn't follow up.

Every night, I still slept in anguish, disgust, hating myself for being so stupid, regretting, regretting, regretting. I have no one to really tell my story. I wasted so much valuable time on this person.

I only wish to tell the story so that another girl will not fall to the same trap.

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:hug: :hug: :hug:

Hi there.

Welcome to AS.

I hope you find this site to be helpful.


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Hi Welcome to AS :flowers:

I am so sorry this has happened, this person sounds twisted and evil!! :hammer: Please try not to blame yourself, I know I was very suseptable to believing what people tell have told me all my life, I trusted everyone but me and unfortunately that is common among survivors. Being I was programmed as a child I doubt it would have taken someone a lot of effort to programme me again, the fact this evil person managed to convince you that all was 'normal', this certainly does NOT make you stupid, it makes him an abuser! You are so brave to share this!

I hope you find all the care and support you need here, take very good care, safe :hug:

p.s. Its best, if you are going in to detail about bad stuff in your post (this is absolutely a good thing to do, to get things out) on the title bar somewhere it is best to write the word TRIGGER, so people are aware some of the content might upset or trigger them, as sometimes when things are bad we have to avoid things like this. Please don't worry though, I just thought I would say for future since you are new here x

Edited by Jules77
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Hello there, welcome to AS :)

I am really sorry that this happened to you and I can tell that you feel really stupid for not seeing what this horrible person was doing, And I know it is so difficult but no-one here will think you stupid for this, just that a rather nasty twisted person took advantage of someone vulnerable

It is admirable that you want to share so that no-one else will fall into this trap, it just goes to show what a nice person you are :)

All the very best and hope to see you around the forums :)

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I hope you are finding your way round the boards ok.


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