Recovering From Incest/abuse From Brother

[yesitisme]

Hello,

I will try to keep this to the point-- I am a 30 year old woman and I am just now healing from growing up with a brother who would come into my room in the middle of the night and touch me and my friends. He also abused 2 of my aunts, neighbor, roomates, etc. He is bipolar and Scitzo-effective.

I have problems with: sleeping, anxiety, and depression. I came out with my story a year ago- and have not spoken to my brother since. This has changed the entire family and I am trying to cope with how things have changed.

I think the major trauma was not feeling safe in the night - weather it was myself or my friend that would be at his hands. We learned to shove shoes under the door because I did not have a lock on my bedroom door. Its those little things that seem sane or normal' until we realize that is the root of so many other problems.

I am new here and am reaching out. I am working with a therapist and going to see a pharmacologist-- to try and get some good antidepressants that also help me sleep at night.

Does anyone here have any of these same issues?

[dodo]

Hi and welcome to AS

best wishes

karen

[Kennedy]

Hi and welcome to AS!

I also have problems with sleeping, anxiety and have had problems with depression before. If you want to talk about any of this then I'm here.

[alp]

Hello and welcome.

I too have similiar issues - poor sleep, depression, anxiety, panic attacks. I am on 2 meds currently and they "keep me in check"

I told my family about my abuse *by my father* and it too changed the dymanic of my family.

I told my family and confronted my father about 7 months age (I am 45).

It was hard but I feel so much better now. I am stronger, more confident, and I have found "my voice" and I am now not afraid to use it.

You are not alone here.

Stay strong.

Anna

[yesitisme]

Thank You Karen

[yesitisme]

Hi and welcome to AS!

I also have problems with sleeping, anxiety and have had problems with depression before. If you want to talk about any of this then I'm here.

Are you on any medications to help you sleep or deal with depression and anxiety?

I am on Lexapro and Clonzepam. These are helping with depression and anxiety but not sleep.

I heard of something called doxiphen (like this) that helps with depression and sleep.

Any advice on meeds is helpful- I am gong to see a pharmacologist in 2 weeks.

Thanks again.

[yesitisme]

Hello and welcome.

I too have similiar issues - poor sleep, depression, anxiety, panic attacks. I am on 2 meds currently and they "keep me in check"

I told my family about my abuse *by my father* and it too changed the dymanic of my family.

I told my family and confronted my father about 7 months age (I am 45).

It was hard but I feel so much better now. I am stronger, more confident, and I have found "my voice" and I am now not afraid to use it.

You are not alone here.

Stay strong.

Anna

Thank you for your honesty. I do not yet feel stronger. I feel like I have fallen in a ditch -- a new world where I do not know myself anymore.

I am on 30MG Lexapro and 2MG Clonzepam/ day. These are helping with depression and anxiety but not sleep. I heard of something called doxiphen (like this) that helps with depression and sleep.

Any advice on meeds is helpful- I am gong to see a pharmacologist in 2 weeks.

[sunshinee]

Hi,

Welcome to Aftersilence.

I was constantly abused during the middle of the night by another family member. I used to suffer from a lot of nightmares and used to be terrified to go to sleep... I found that talking helped. That was healing for me- just talking about it, and knowing I'm safe now. You might laugh, and this might make me sound selfish, but I also have a nightlight in my room. My best friend bought it for me it's in a little heart shape and has three colours in it. I stare at it when I'm scared, and it makes me feel better.

Hope you find the support you are looking for here:)

Cheers,

Mandy

[Breakable]

Hi, there! I also was abused in the middle of the night over the course of many years, and I still have sleep problems. I find it very hard to sleep when it is dark and finally fall into a deeper, more restful sleep when the sun starts to come up. I also still feel like someone is in my room watching me at times, which makes it even harder to sleep. I have found that Ambien is a pretty good sleep medicine, and it helps me fall asleep fast. It doesn't last all night long for me, though. I only really use it when it's been too many days of not sleeping and I need a better night's rest. I think I still feel like I need to be able to wake up fully should I need to, even though I know I'm completely safe now. It's weird. I hope you can find some relief.

Mandy...I like your idea of the nightlight. I wonder if I was able to see a little bit more in my room would I be able to sleep better? My therapist recommended some kind of light, but I resisted it because I always thought the light would keep me awake. It doesn't take much to keep me awake, but maybe I should give it a try, too. Thanks!

[NeedsToRecover]

Hello.

I had the same thing going on. My brother (if thats what you want to call him) would abuse me anytime he could. This went on for several years. I am only 19 years old. This happened to me 10 years ago. When I came out to my parents, they seemed to not really care. My family has never been the same since. I am here if you EVER need to talk. I hope you find this a very supportive place where you can talk about anything. I know I have.

Looking forward to talking with you more.

[sunshinee]

Mandy...I like your idea of the nightlight. I wonder if I was able to see a little bit more in my room would I be able to sleep better? My therapist recommended some kind of light, but I resisted it because I always thought the light would keep me awake. It doesn't take much to keep me awake, but maybe I should give it a try, too. Thanks!

Like the one I have it's not that bright. It's basically a heart on my outlet. Pretty handy- hope it works for you!

[~FOUND~]

Hi there.

Welcome to AS.

i hope you find this site to be helpful.

Found

[alp]

I too was on Lexapro but switched to generic celexa (pretty much in the same family of meds but generic is much cheaper for me). I had to try several combinations of meds and these two seem to work for me.

As far as sleep, I take xanax at night to sleep. It is a very low dose but it helps to me sleep thru the night. I also take my celexa at night time as well. There are a lot of sleep aids on the market (ambien ...). But, many are addictive so you have to be careful. I sleep with a hall light on and a fan. The rhythm of the fan helps me to sleep. Another thing I do (this may sound a little strange being that I am 45!) but I always loved gymnastics as a kid, always wanted to be a gymnist (even though I have 2 left feet). At night, when my mind starts to wonder and my thoughts race, I imiagine in my mind I am a gymnist - a child on the gym floor tumbling to the music, listening to the crowd..... Again, I know that sound odd, but it helps me to focus on something I enjoy - something that made / makes me happy. It kind of forces the "bad" thoughts away. Helps me to re-focus my mind.

I know how you feel, like falling in a ditch. I felt like I was drowning. But I can tell you it will get better in time. Just posting on this site is a very brave step. It really does help to (at least me) to talk to others who know how you feel. I have good and bad days but the good days now far out number the bad.

It takes time. It takes time to heal.

I am proud of you for posting and getting help, this is a big step and one for you to be proud of.

Anna

[sjudmajo]

Hello,

I will try to keep this to the point-- I am a 30 year old woman and I am just now healing from growing up with a brother who would come into my room in the middle of the night and touch me and my friends. He also abused 2 of my aunts, neighbor, roomates, etc. He is bipolar and Scitzo-effective.

I have problems with: sleeping, anxiety, and depression. I came out with my story a year ago- and have not spoken to my brother since. This has changed the entire family and I am trying to cope with how things have changed.

I think the major trauma was not feeling safe in the night - weather it was myself or my friend that would be at his hands. We learned to shove shoes under the door because I did not have a lock on my bedroom door. Its those little things that seem sane or normal' until we realize that is the root of so many other problems.

I am new here and am reaching out. I am working with a therapist and going to see a pharmacologist-- to try and get some good antidepressants that also help me sleep at night.

Does anyone here have any of these same issues?

HI

sharing

It takes time to move from hypervigilance which is looking over your shoulder all the time to protect yourself to being cautious and feeling safe but remaining cautious. In time as you heal you will be able to be cautious and not overly self protective.

Judith