Unsure

[sentenced]

Ever have that moment when entering a class that has already started? You're new, but the school year already started? Yeah. That's me. In saying this, I am reminded of yesterday's "confirmation," in which I registered, but now had to "be reviewed" by someone from AFTER SILENCE.

Since it took awhile to post anything, I wanted to run and leave this place. But at the nudging of my wife, I gave in and decided to see what can happen if I continue. To learn. To explore. Maybe share. This isn't my first time with a support group, though and I am pensive in sharing this, but I was a member of DAILY STRENGTH. For reasons that are not clear to me, after leaving...I couldn't go back.

But here it goes...a counselor once defined me. I mean it. I liked the way she described the chaotic life I have lived, and this is what we talked about in a session: You're not a survivor anymore. That part of your life is behind you. To live as long as you had...you've become this fighter. But you've gone beyond THAT. Now you're able to share, maybe even explain how you've survived. I would encourage you to think of yourself as a WARRIOR. You have that ability to impart wisdom. I wanted to do verbatim, but...in trying not to divulge too much personal information...there are only nuggets of our conversation embedded into this introduction.

But I am someone who underwent some terrible things. I have been told it wasn't my fault. I can KNOW this, but still haven't ACCEPTED this...

In all the things I've ever been through in my life, there have been good things that have happened. If that weren't true...I would no longer be alive. That is a fact. The one thing I remember that affects me to this day, the only real good thing I can say with fondness is the first day of school. Until I reached sixth grade, my mother would come with me to the class, watch me enter the room and then wave. I felt safe. Loved. In all the darkness of my life, it is one of the few lights that have kept me on the path I am now on. So this is my first day, here, and I'd like to say..."Hey."

[Astridetal]

Hello and welcome here. That is a good description that your counselor said you were a warrior. That is a good attitude.

[LadyFlyover]

Welcome.... you'll have plenty of pl to eat lunch with here anytime.... =)

[krista17]

Welcome to After Silence

[kj645]

welcome.

[alp]

Welcome to AS.

I like the idea of a warrior.

And you are right, there are good things in life too.

Anna

[dodo]

Hi and welcome to AS

best wishes

karen

[~FOUND~]

Hi there.

Welcome to AS.

I hope you find this site to be helpful.

Found

[blossums]

Hiya and welcome

I think you're right, that the good things are very important

All the best

[loTus1]

welcome to AS!

[~FOUND~]

I hope you are finding your way around the boards ok.

Found

[Becky]

Hi,

Welcome to After Silence

I am sorry for the painful things that have brought you here, but so very glad you found us. Thank you for putting up with the registration process and giving us a chance. I hope that you will feel safe here and get all the support and understanding you are needing.

I love the warrior concept. I can tell that you have been fighting a hard battle for a long time. We can all relate to that and I know sometimes the fight (war) is exhausting- especially since we have to also fight ourselves- to believe for example that what happened was not our fault. It is very hard. Just know, you are not alone.

Please let me know if you need any help finding your way around.

Take care,

Becky