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Hi Folks I'm New


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thanks AS site. i don't even know where to begin.

being new i don;t know if what i write will be a trigger so proceed with caution cos i'm really venting.

i can't believe it took me so long to find a site like this where i might find folks to relate to. there's survival me that pretends i'm normal & in-pieces me that feels like a big ol freak. i'm sick of it. i want to be 1 person. i don't know how to integrate the 2. anyone here master that?

is there a smooth way to get out of family events without explaining you'd rather not go cos you'd have to hang with your perv brother?

anyone out there have a creepy molester brother & then have a nice brother but you don;t know how to be around the nice one cos someone might figure out you likke one & not the other or you're afraid to be close to the nice one cos being close to any family member is too creepy?!

i want so badly to let this all go & be me. i don;t know how.

there's so many layers of creepy & i can't be the only one with how to questions...where do i post those?

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Hi there.

Welcome to AS.

I hope you fidndthis site to be helpful.

Found

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Hey, welcome to AS. Do you know for sure you only have 2 parts? I have not mastered integration but I am in the process of learning how to live integrated. It's a process, we're not used to feeling like one person, so it takes practice. If you want to talk, I'm here.. ~Abby

Edited by abbywil83
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Hi and welcome. I'm also pretty new to this site but people here seem to care and want to help. I hope you find what you need here. Take care of yourself

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I hope you are finding your way around the boards ok.

Found

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I was so happy when you replied to my post saying that you can relate <3

I have the same issues when it comes to family events. I get really angry at my brother for all sorts of stupid little things but down deep it's always going to be because of our history. We all eat together as a family everynight and I always make a point to sit away from him which causes arguments with my other siblings and myself. My other 2 brothers and 1 little sister don't know about it yet. Once I tell them, our family will be torn apart and I'll be the bad guy. I kind of wish they knew sometimes because I'm extremely close with my sister and I'm pretty cool with my other brothers.

If you ever wanna talk you can pm me. :hug: I'll be around.

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Thinking of you.

Found

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thanks AS site. i don't even know where to begin.

being new i don;t know if what i write will be a trigger so proceed with caution cos i'm really venting.

i can't believe it took me so long to find a site like this where i might find folks to relate to. there's survival me that pretends i'm normal & in-pieces me that feels like a big ol freak. i'm sick of it. i want to be 1 person. i don't know how to integrate the 2. anyone here master that?

is there a smooth way to get out of family events without explaining you'd rather not go cos you'd have to hang with your perv brother?

anyone out there have a creepy molester brother & then have a nice brother but you don;t know how to be around the nice one cos someone might figure out you likke one & not the other or you're afraid to be close to the nice one cos being close to any family member is too creepy?!

i want so badly to let this all go & be me. i don;t know how.

there's so many layers of creepy & i can't be the only one with how to questions...where do i post those?

Hi

sharing

Talking and writing will help you to heal either online or off. yes as you heal things become integrated and you can cope better in a healthy emotional way

You have to do what you need to do for you. It is the brother fault the one that hurt you that has to live with the consequences of his actions. By not have contact with you if that is how it has to be.

YOru entitled to set your boundaries. where you need them to be to help you feel in control etc. In time you can move them wherever you feel you need to.

Thoughts?

Judith

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Hello Notyou, and welcome to AS :)

i can't believe it took me so long to find a site like this where i might find folks to relate to. there's survival me that pretends i'm normal & in-pieces me that feels like a big ol freak. i'm sick of it. i want to be 1 person. i don't know how to integrate the 2. anyone here master that?

I know what you mean, I'm 40 (nearly) I wish I had found this site 25 years ago. I would say definately to approach becoming one person gradually, step by step - because this is to do with very painful stuff, taking very small steps one at a time makes it less likely to bite off more than you can chew - I hope this makes sense

is there a smooth way to get out of family events without explaining you'd rather not go cos you'd have to hang with your perv brother?

The things that have helped me most with getting myself out of awkward situations - deciding to be on my side no matter what someone else (who usually knows little about me) might think of that. In the past when I didn't have that sort of confidence I would make any excuse I could think of (like illness) or else find myself going along even though I didn't want to

anyone out there have a creepy molester brother & then have a nice brother but you don;t know how to be around the nice one cos someone might figure out you likke one & not the other or you're afraid to be close to the nice one cos being close to any family member is too creepy?!

There will be someone with a similar situation here like darkblue for eg, post about this in gathering place or aftermath, and be persistant - if you don't get many replies one day, bump your post a few days later

i want so badly to let this all go & be me. i don;t know how.

there's so many layers of creepy & i can't be the only one with how to questions...where do i post those?

maybe a good place to start might be Aftermath or Gathering place - if you have a question that obviously related to one of our forum section like eating disorders / self harm / therapy etc then sure, post in those sections

Take care :bighug:

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