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SnowDragon24

What Did You Do For You Today?

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Today I sat on the porch with Ladybug and Bee and appreciated the view as Lawn Dude mowed the grass!

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I spent the few hours I had to myself -ahem- running around the house in pjs and watching tv. Hell yeah.

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I bought fall/winter clothing that fits me better than my old stuff.

I also bought a felt board for $1. There will be some major fun to be had, with that.

I got free bread from the bread basket. And at the grocery store, I stocked up on protein foods that were on sale. Pea beans ahoy!

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I told myself I'm competent and a good person and deserve happiness. That I can handle it, that God hasn't forgotten me. That I'm worth it. That I don't need other people to validate me. I'm ok as I am.

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I cleaned out one of my art junk drawers. Now there's room for more fun art stuff!

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I went yard saling with a friend and now Im gonna spend the night at her house watching scary movies. :)

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I ate a big scoop of fruit salad instead of hitting the cookies.

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Got some errands done on my list, am going to try and take a much needed mini break of sorts, baked brownies

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Today I (finally!) found the courage to accept the hand of friendship a lady in my class has been offering me. I took her and her partner at face value: genuinely loving people who see something loveable in me. And I chose to reach back.

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I lost myself in my art class-- for a little while my whole reality revolved around pencil and paper, shape and color and concept. It was a good class.

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I stayed in my room with the door closed. Popped out a couple of times to reassure the girls I'm okay...but mostly hid.

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I looked at a rainbow. I mean looked at it. I was walking home from the bus stop, and the rainbow was right over my house, and I stared at it the whole way until it disappeared, I studied it, I was absorbed by the experience of that wonderful and beautiful rainbow.

To me, rainbows are symbolic. Like Noah's Ark. My sister had a rainbow on her birthday, and then after that my mother couldn't have anymore kids. Rainbows mean "it's over. There will be no more suffering like this." No other kids had to be born into my mother's home. So I thought about what turning points I am at in my life. What is ending, and what is beginning, now?

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Was patient with myself while on the verge of a panic attack last night and let myself have what i needed. And let myself sleep on the couch for a second night in a row even though i think it's silly I can fall asleep there but not in my bed.

Edited by ViciousCirce

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I bought another folder just 'cause it was pretty. And I put it in my T binder, so I'll see it on a regular basis.

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