New Here

[br0ken]

Hello. I'm new here and so happy I found this place. I'm coming from a different forum that could be downright hurtful at times. It almost pushed me over the edge recently and that's why I went looking again.

I REALLY like how the sub-forum types of sexual assaults has all those threads. That's a great idea and I will definitely be making a stop in a lot of them. Thank you to everyone who requested threads in that area.

A quick background (trauma, non-abuse):

*Custody battles until I was 11 years old

*Grandma (legal guardian) died when I was 7

*Mom died when I was 11 (AIDS)

*Grandpa died when I was 14

****MT****

Trauma (Abuse):

*sexual, physical, and emotional abuse as far back as I can remember

*trafficked/prostituted here (USA) and abroad (in Europe)

*beatings with whips, chains, belts, etc. that lead to a fractured vertebra

*saw someone killed

*forced to kill/beat others

*forced to eat bodily fluids

****END TRIGGER****

Aftermath:

*Needing to "deserve" things like food, water, showers, etc.

*HORRIBLE self esteem

*Severe depression

*self injury starting in elementary, worst at age 14 when I was cutting. I infrequently cut now

*anorexia helped to stop the flashbacks I got while eating, but landed me in in-patient (summer 2005). I no longer get flashbacks so eating isn't (usually) a problem (unless I don't deserve it)

Positives:

Graduated college with 3.33 GPA

have full time job with benefits

training for a powerlifting meet (at least I'll be strong physically)

going back to school for physical therapist degree

one of my abusers is dead

[cajunlady]

I'm sorry for the reasons that brought you here but I'm glad that you are feeling like this is a good place to be. I have gotten so much out of this site and I hope that you do too.

[dodo]

Hi and welcome to AS

best wishes

karen

[~FOUND~]

Hi there.

Welcome to AS.

I hope you find this site to be helpful.

Found

[phoenixgirl]

Welcome to After Silence

Thank you for sharing what has brought you here. You are brave to share that.

I have found this site really helpful. I hope you do too.

[~FOUND~]

I hope you are finding your way around the boards ok.

Found

[Becky]

Hi,

I'm truly sorry for all that you have suffered. That is a tremendous amount of pain to overcome and I think it is amazing that you have been able to accomplish so much in your life despite the things that I'm sure make it difficult.

I am so glad you found us and I hope we can help you on your healing journey.

Please let me know if there is anything you need.

Take care,

Becky

[br0ken]

Thanks so much for the welcomes everyone. I think I am really going to like it here.

[~FOUND~]

You're welcome hun.

Found

[nothingsweet]

br0ken

[whimsical1]

welcome to after-silence.

[sunshinee]

Hi br0ken,

Welcome to Aftersilence. I hope you are finding your way around the boards all right and I am sorry about the problems from the last board you were on.

Know that you will be heard here, and you'll find support.

Mandy