Hi From Oz

[phoenixgirl]

Hi All,

I am a survivor of two rapes. I thought I was "ok" with "stuff", but it appears I'm not. All the things that I'd pushed to the back of my mind are demanding to be dealt with.

I had a terrible experience wiith a nurse for an ECG (heart monitor) which tipped me right over the edge and now I find myself triggering all over the place. :!:

I have put off medical things because of the fear that the above would happen. It turns out I was right.

I am seeing a great psychologist who is helping me, but I just can't get over the disgust and fear and "skin crawling" when a stranger (or even someone I love) touches me.

I found your forum site by fluke (or was it fate) so I am hoping to find somewhere to heal.

Oh, and "Hi from Oz" means I live in Australia.

[nothingsweet]

phoenixgirl

[dodo]

Hi and welcome to AS

best wishes

karen

[~FOUND~]

Hi there.

Welcome to AS.

I hope you find this site to be helpful.

Found

[phoenixgirl]

Thanks guys... I've spent most of today reading and nodding and crying and feeling like I've found people who know what I'm talking about... I've not been up to posting lots, but I just want to thank you all for being here.

[Venia]

Welcome to AS from a fellow Aussie

I'm sorry that you are struggling at the moment, but glad you have found somewhere that you might feel understood

Meg

[~FOUND~]

I hope you are finding your way around the boards ok.

[Archie]

Hi Phoenix and a big welcome to AS from someone over the ditch (NZ).

I hope you are safe today from these horrible floods.

I'm one of the Newbie Support Team and I'm here to help you get used to the forum, so if you need any help, please don't hesitate to message me.

I have had to have an EKG done a few times and it is always a triggering moment when those pads get put on my breast. I'm so sorry to hear this nurse has taken it even further and put you in an unsafe place.

It's totally normal to think you're 'ok' for a while then struggle again. It's part of the healing process - the good ole 2 steps forward 1 step back.

Take gentle care and I look forward to seeing your posts on the board.

Rach

[Djinn13]

G'day Phoenixgirl!

Welcome to another fellow Aussie!

Sorry to read that you're struggling. Happy that you found this forum as I have found it to be very helpful and also chatted to some amazing and wonderful people from all around the world.

[phoenixgirl]

Thanks again everyone for the warm welcome... This is definitely a place I need to be in right now...

FOUND - "I hope you are finding your way around the boards ok."

I'm slowly working my way through things... I have to stop myself from spending the entire day on this site, but I am reading and nodding and crying at the relief of finding this place where I can come and go as I need to without the fear and pressure of having to commit to a time-frame...

ARCHIE - "it is always a triggering moment when those pads get put on my breast. I'm so sorry to hear this nurse has taken it even further and put you in an unsafe place."

Archie, it started when I had to remove my top and then it went down hill from there... I lay down, and I tried to make myself cope or completely check out... I begged myself to just "go" mentally, but I wasn't able to leave the situation... I tried to crawl save myself into the wall, but she just kept telling me to relax. I had no words... I had no way of telling her why I was crying and screaming... She kept telling me that I was making her job hard and that if I didn't lay still and "calm down" it would all have to be done all over again to get a "correct" reading...

After this, I was so traumatised... I now have a wonderful letter that my psychologist and I co-wrote to tell medical professionals how I need to work with them, including that I need to be allowed to be covered at all times, and I need to be able to do things myself whenever the procedure needs to include touching (e.g. sticking the pads on myself for the ECG)...

I have since had a really successful experience with a wonderful woman at the pathology/halter-monitor place - she let me put all the pads on myself, let me be completely covered by a sheet and let me show her the pads when *I* felt ready and one pad at a time so that in no way did I need to be fully exposed at any point in time. She let my partner help me put the leads on and was REALLY respectful the whole time. If I get brave enough, and if it would be helpful to others, I may post that letter on the site...

ARCHIE - "I hope you are safe today from these horrible floods."

For those of you who don't know, part of my country is experiencing flash floods - it's a part that is bigger than the size of Texas, and is bigger than the size of combined size of France and Germany.

I am safe where I am, thank goodness, but many of my friends are not. Tens of thousands of animals have died, and some of my friends are desperately trying to truck out their horses, but the roads are flooded and they can't get transport in to save them.

Thanks again for your welcome... I hope that I feel at "home" enough here soon that I may be able to feel the "right" to welcome other new people to this site too.

Safe and gentle (but very much needed from my end) hugs to you all for being so welcoming.

[~FOUND~]

Glad you are finding your way around.

[bleedingintuition]

Hi All,

I am a survivor of two rapes. I thought I was "ok" with "stuff", but it appears I'm not. All the things that I'd pushed to the back of my mind are demanding to be dealt with.

I had a terrible experience wiith a nurse for an ECG (heart monitor) which tipped me right over the edge and now I find myself triggering all over the place. :!:

I have put off medical things because of the fear that the above would happen. It turns out I was right.

I am seeing a great psychologist who is helping me, but I just can't get over the disgust and fear and "skin crawling" when a stranger (or even someone I love) touches me.

I found your forum site by fluke (or was it fate) so I am hoping to find somewhere to heal.

Oh, and "Hi from Oz" means I live in Australia.

[bleedingintuition]

Hi All,

I am a survivor of two rapes. I thought I was "ok" with "stuff", but it appears I'm not. All the things that I'd pushed to the back of my mind are demanding to be dealt with.

I had a terrible experience wiith a nurse for an ECG (heart monitor) which tipped me right over the edge and now I find myself triggering all over the place. :!:

I have put off medical things because of the fear that the above would happen. It turns out I was right.

I am seeing a great psychologist who is helping me, but I just can't get over the disgust and fear and "skin crawling" when a stranger (or even someone I love) touches me.

I found your forum site by fluke (or was it fate) so I am hoping t

o find somewhere to heal.

Oh, and "Hi from Oz" means I live in Australia.

Gday im from aus too!.

im very new here aswell.

welcome!!

i was rapped when i was a kid and almost rapped again in 2000.

i hope you be able to find some peice of mind.

welcome

[whimsical1]

welcome to after-silence.