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Hi there all im a 21 year old male and i havent been in a relationship to long with my girlfreind its only been 6 months but when she was 18 she was raped by a good freind of hers i dont know him and i dont know the full story i just want to know if i should get my girlfreind to talk to me about the whole ordeal can anyone help me ? thanks ian evans

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Hi there.

Welcome to AS.

I hope you find this site to be helpful.


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Hi IanEvans

My advice would be to let her know that you're open and willing to talk about it. Assure her. Let her know you're ready if and when she is. I would then leave it at that and not bring it up again. I can't say this from personal experience but i f I tell my girlfriend, I wish to God that's how she reacts. Good luck.

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Hi Ian,

My name is Lynn, and I am a member of the New Member Support Team. I just wanted to take the time to say welcome back to After Silence. I agree with Comets advice. I think it is sound. She is fortunate that you are there, but I wouldn't push her. She may not be ready at ALL to face what happened. It took me 8 years...and mine was a date rape too.

I hope that you find comfort and support here. I am glad that you have joined with us and look forward to getting to know you. If you need anything or have questions about the boards or how something works, please send me a personal message. I will gladly help in any way possible...also if you need someone to listen, let me know.

Take care,

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I hope you are finding your war around the boards ok.


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Hi and welcome to AS. I think the fact that you want to help your girlfriend is very brave and endearing. Only she knows when and if she is ready to share all of her story with you. I think she is very lucky to have you....As survivors we always hope that someone we care about will be able to listen and to understand. You have gone the first step by coming here, and hopefully some day she will be able to open up to you. Stay strong...for yourself and for her. What you have to learn from her will be difficult and trying. The secondary survivor forum may be helpful.

Good luck to you....

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welcome to after silence. :)

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