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silent moe

New, But I Have A Question

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hey everyone, i'm new here, but i have a question.

I was raped on vacation a year and 3 months ago, and the other day, i just told 2 of my closest friends for the first time. They are the ONLY people who know about it, and they are trying to get me to tell an adult. I don't think telling my mom would be a good idea, because she totally flipped out when i told her about my eating disorder. She was mad at me for it, and told me to "get over it" so she is the last person i want to tell because i think she'll have a similar reaction. We think our swim coach (for both the school, and the community teams) would be the person to tell because she is also teaches about rape/SA. I've read some posts about telling a teacher about molestation and SA from a family member/somebody they knew, but i'm wondering if she'll have to report my incident to anyone. The thing is that i have no idea who it was that did it, and i've never seen him before or after the rape (because we were on vacation). So would she have to report it to anyone? and if so, would she have to tell my mom?

Does anyone know if she'd have to tell my mom? thank you so much.

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First, I am so sorry that you had to go through what you did. :hug:

Welcome to After Silence

I think that she is required to report it....but I dont know if she would have to tell your mom.....

Though I am not 100% percent sure...

Trinity

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welcome to AS :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:

i am pretty sure that if you are a minor then your teacher will have to tell a senior teacher or report it to someone. im not sure if this would include your mother, as im not too good with legal stuff sorry.

~charlene~

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Welcome to After Silence honey. :hug:

I am pretty positive that due to you being a minor a guardian of you will be told and I'm sure they would find out either way if your teacher reported it which she would have to do. :hug:

I'm sorry for what you have been through hun, know that we are here for you.

:hug: :hug:

Donna =)

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thank you for all of your immediate responses.

eek. that's what i was afraid of...her having to report it. I read somewhere that they only had to report it if they had the name of the perp. Is that true? because i truly don't know his name, or anything about him. Not that i would turn him in anyway, but i don't know. But does anyone know if it is REQUIRED to tell my mom? that's what i'm really afraid of.

I thought that since I was also involved with my teacher outside of school, (the community swim team) that there might somehow be a loop-hole, where she wouldn't have to say anything...at least not to my mom.

What would happen if she did report it? Like, what would it include? Would any legal action have to be taken?

Thanks so much for your responses girls.

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Your swim coach is still a teacher, whether or not she is someone you see outside of school. I am a teacher and if I have anyone report abuse to me, whether or not they are even a student in my school...it could even be a small child not yet in school....I am required by law to report it. I have had this happen this year and I only had to report it to the principal of the school and she took it from there. I did have the option of reporting it to child services, though.

As for legal action, I am not sure. If you don't know who it was since it happened on vacation, they cannot prosecute that person. The abuse is not happening now so there probably isn't anything they can do.

I am sorry you feel like you cannot tell your mom. I hope you are able to tell your teacher what happened to you. I told my teacher what was happening to me and I found such support through her. Good luck to you.

Take gentle care.

Kelly

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Welcome to AS. I hope you finds it can help being here, I'm in the UK so I am afraid I can't help regarding the reporting of the incident questions cos things are a bit different around here ... :hug:

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Welcome to AS.

I'm not to sure what would have to happen if you told a teacher, I wish i could be of more help.

~Catherine

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Welcome to AS ((((((silent moe))))))))

I am so sorry for all you have been thru sweetie. I don't know either waht would be required of the teacher legally after she reports it to either child services or her principal....I wonder if going to a womans crisis center might help. They might be able to tell you the ins and outs and point you in the direction of counseling and they might not be required to tell your mother depending on your age. I don't know. I am sorry that you are afraid to tell your mom about it, I hope that your situation changes with that and you feel safe enough to tell her.

In the meantime, we are here for you so post away for support.

take care

kris :kitty:

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thank you all again for all of your support. I am thinking of telling my teacher next wednesday, but i'm not sure yet. You all have made me feel so welcomed, and i appreciate it so much.

Thanks.

Moe

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welcome here moe. i'm so sorry for what happened to you. i'm glad you were finally able to tell your friends. that must have took a lot of courage and i'm proud of you. it's not something that you should have ever had to experience, let alone deal with all by yourself. as for telling your teacher, i suspect that she may have to report it, but then again, you never know. maybe asking her hypothetically (like explaining that your "friend" experienced it) would give you a better idea as to what her reaction might be? it's lousy that you don't feel safe enough to tell your mom, but maybe if you tell your teacher, (i think it might be good for you to have her support) she can be with you in telling your mom. it might be best if your mom knew and could be able to support you, because it seems like keeping this secret from her for fear that she might react badly is a burden that you really don't need. i totally understand your hesitance to tell her, especially since she reacted so negatively to your eating problem. i hope that whatever decsion you make, that you find the support you need and deserve. i'm here to listen if you want to talk.

dawn

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