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Further To My Closed Thread

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Sorry to start a new thread, I just don't want to have any part of this discussion 'behind closed doors' in pm's to moderators. This whole situation already feels immensely triggering to me, like I've been silenced. If on top of that I have to have all of this, what feels like, abusive situation go on in 'secret', well, you can imagine how that might feel. I wasn't even alerted that this would happen to my story.

I appreciate your response Dodo and that it is being looked into. I just want to say I hope this rule will be reconsidered. New members getting a good hearing has been taken care of by the fact that replies don't bump up the threads. What difference could it make to new members if I or others have a scattering of old posts in various pages way back?

I'm already aware of a few people who are very upset about this situation themselves.

I have never caused trouble here, never got involved in the bickering that breaks out from time to time ~ I don't go into chat for that very reason. I think I'm quite supportive of others. So I don't start 'dramas' lightly. This place has felt like a lifeline for me at times. Especially now that my dad has just been diagnosed with cancer and I've no idea how I will cope. But I honestly feel like if this stays the way it is, I don't feel safe to post here anymore.

I never expected to feel so abused here.

Reyzl :tear:

Edited by Reyzl
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Hi Reyzl,

I am very sorry you weren't informed of your post being merged together. Please accept our apology for that.

As for the issue itself, it is being discussed and there was a very good reason the guideline was originally implimented. However, that is not to say we feel it should not be changed now. As Karen said, we are discussing it.

Please know, I understand how you feel and I hope you can believe and accept that there was absolutely no harmful intention. I am sorry it made you feel that way.

You are a valued member here and your feelings are absolutely respected and will be considered.

Please try to keep in mind that we are all here because we've been abused. It is extremely hurtful to us as moderators, who do our very best to make decisions that help keep the board safe, when members treat us as though we are trying to hurt them. I truly hope you don't honestly feel that would be the case.

I do understand your feelings and again, I am so very sorry you are feeling the least bit unsafe. We will do our very best to make a decision on this issue and explain it in a way that restores your feelings of support and safety.

Take gentle care, :hug::hug::hug:


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Thanks for your response Becky. I'm glad it's being looked into.

I didn't really mean to suggest anyone here is actually abusing me. Just that it FEELS that way. This situation replicates so much stuff around the abuse (not just for me, I shouldn't think) ~ being silenced, having no control, people with 'power' making decisions for you ... it's just hugely triggering I guess.

Thanks for your kind words though :hug:


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Thank you, Reyzl. :flowers: Please know, we really do understand how you feel. Hopefully, this will be resolved very quickly.

Take gentle care of you!! :hug::hug::hug::hug:

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it is so sad to see people (anyone) being hurt by all this. :(

this guideline has been in place for some time now - the reason being that some time back some members were adding new parts to their story on an almost daily basis - even just a couple of words - this meant that members who were posting their story for the first time would have their post knocked down on the main page - some members would have pages of story with very many replies - where as others would only have one or two replies - it was extremely hard for these members in that they felt ignored and that their story was not as important

((((karen)))), thank you for explaining this. i genuinely did not see the point before, but i do get it now.

i know you mods are discussing this now. i am not sure if there is not supposed to be any discussion going on here...... may i as a regular member still add my opinion?

i feel like sharing a story is such a sensitive issue that, in general, it would be best if members had as much freedom there as possible.

i also feel like different people just have different styles, needs, and preferences, so that no matter what the "rule" is, some people would not feel comfortable.

therefore i think it would be best to not have a clear cut rule, but to take a softer and more flexible approach - something like this: members can be encouraged to keep adding to their original thread, especially if additions are close in time, in order to prevent clutter; however, if a member prefers, then they may start a new thread, for example if the original topic lies far back in time, if it is about a different abusive situation (e.g. csa; dv), or for any other reason at the member's discretion, no questions asked and no explanation required.

well.... these are my thoughts, i hope it was ok to voice them.


Edited by RiseAndShine
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Hi there,

I am thinking that there could be consideration for a change to this area to accommodate newer and older members eg additional areas on the share your story forum etc

Some peoples stories are very long, especially if you have gone through years of abuse.



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I have to say I agree with whitedove. Maybe adding a subforum in which people can continue they're story? As you all know it can be a very hard and draining process to post your story and some people may not feel like they're able to post it all in one go. Idk just a suggestion.....

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As stated in the previously closed thread, the moderators are discussing the issue and will reach a decision in a matter of days (most likely 1 or 2 days).

In the meantime, please do not restart a topic that has been closed by a moderator.

Thank you for your cooperation and understanding.

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