Here I Be

[KindBrightFlame]

Hullo. Name's Rebecca. Username comes from the word Hrodheid, from which the word Rose was derived... because I like roses a lot, but the name Rose is usually already taken. Hrodheid means bright flame/kind, which makes roses just that much more awesome.

Anyhow. Things happened in 1999. Broke silence in 2006. Pressed charges in 2009. Haven't testified yet.

Honestly I'm at a stage where I kind of prefer talking about it in the non-graphic/non-triggering forum, 'cause I'm damn sick of it. I have been for a while. None of us signed up to be victims or survivors. If you're capable of being anything else, then by all means, be it. And you are capable of being something besides a survivor, and doing something besides survivor stuff, even if it doesn't feel that way. The R-word isn't written in the stars, in your DNA, or in a childhood essay entitled "What I Want To Be When I Grow Up." It is a reality we all have to deal with, and intensive healing sometimes requires focusing all our energy on dealing with it. But it's not the beginning or end of you.

Go run a mile - I dare ya. Make sure you remember to breathe, listen to your body, and let it know you're in control and taking care of it.

That said, despite being out of the dark for a while, I still feel the need to talk sometimes.At one time I had multiple flashbacks per week. My most recent one was a couple weeks ago, and I hadn't had one in over a year before that. It still startles and disturbs me to realize it really happened. Perhaps this is a good thing. When I love myself, of course it startles and disturbs me to think of myself in that situation - even though of course I was there.

I'm not there anymore.

In case you're deep in a really heavy part of the healing process, a reminder: That's the whole point. To not be there anymore. You go into the labyrinth with the intention of getting out on the other side.

The only way out is through. Good hunting.

I am 22. I was 10 when it happened. I am delighted to announce that I will be 82 someday.

[dodo]

Hi and welcome to AS

best wishes

karen

[Marce]

WELCOME!!

Glad you found us.

Marce

[nikang]

Welcome to AS. That was an amazing introduction. Sometimes, it is hard to remember that we can get through this. Thank you for the reminder that we can and will get to the other side. I think I would enjoy talking to you. My pm box is open anytime.

[Wishy]

Hiya, welcome to AS

[~FOUND~]

Hi there.

Welcome to AS.

I hope you find this site to be helpful.

Found

[sunshinee]

Hi KindBrightFlame,

I liked your intro AND I'm just getting home from a run!

I agree with what you said- we don't choose this, but it happens. I hope to see more of you around here, and if you need any help with anything on this site please feel free to send me a message.

Mandy

[~FOUND~]

I hope you find your way around the boards ok.

Found

[whimsical1]

welcome to after silence.