Jump to content
New registrants - please do NOT register using your real name (or anything resembling such) - your privacy is important to us and real-name registrations will be deleted. Please re-register with an anonymous display name. ×
If you are having any trouble connecting or need assistance, email us at: aftersilence.moderators@gmail.com! ×

Crime Statistic

Recommended Posts

Life have become a sadist ... the blunt knife of reality scars me daily and like a feeding cancer makes me less...

I discovered that I am dying in the silence I carry with me, the comfort I so desperately need but just can't find.

Married for 8 years ... 3 children ... statistic, I do not want to become a statistic.

The HIV tests came back negative, the std tests came back negative, but the second round is around the corner and I am scared ... it is a fear that strangles me .. the what if, the what now.

How do you talk about it, where do you start ... it is like yesterday, it is like today and gosh I don't want to live to see tomorrow .... it is everywhere ....

That smell, that touch, that painful memory ... my children, what if he noticed they were sleeping in the bedroom. What could he have done to them?

His memory follows me ... The silent killer ...

I remember a sharp huge knife, a foreign language, the obedience, the rape, the day I died ...

I remember the blood, so much blood ... It happened shortly after I had my baby.

I had a c-section and it was so rough that it tore at my wound ... so much blood ...

He took my wedding ring and with that the promise of my husband to protect me ... He took my life ...

I am none ... I am nothing, I am shattered all around him.

Don't know if I like who I am or even who I have become ... I am none ...

Link to post

Welcome to AS. I know what it feels like to feel like nothing, and I'm so sorry you're hurting right now. But you aren't nothing... Even when it doesn't feel like it, you are brave and strong. (You're here, aren't you??) Anytime you need encouragement or just need someone to talk to, we'll be here!! :hug: :hug: :hug: if ok.

Link to post

It is such a relief to make my voice heard ... I have been use to my echo for far to long.

It is time I say how I feel for a change.

It seems as though most of us share the same pain, perhaps just a different source.

I am going for my first councelling session. Scared, but I guess it is time.

Will the circle be unbroken, wll the damage eve be undone, will life get the meaning which was taken from it? Only time will tell.

Thanks for the kind words.

I haven't spoken to people about this and somehow I feel a bit lighter.

Link to post


Welcome to Aftersilence. I am sorry for what you have been through, but here is a place where you can make yourself heard. I hear you. We hear you.

We're here to support you. We don't judge. We work at your pace. Hang in there/


Link to post

welcome to after silence. :)

Link to post
:aswelcomesu: Thank you for posting how you feel. Many of us are struggling with the same emotions. You articulated them very well.
Link to post

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Create New...