New But Second Time Around Almost 10 Years Later

[minuvida]

I feel like an idiot I feel the lowest of the low. The first time around was a high school classmate I did not inform anyone of what happened until my new behavior caught up with me six months later. The shame and the guilt was unbearable. My mom would always tell me don't let strangers in the house and I let a classmate in when I was 17 little did I know of what was to come. Now 10 days away from my 27th birthday I go through the same but way worst. I went out to celebrate a friends birthday needless to say alcohol was involve there was a confusion as to who was taking me home and both of my ride left me or as they state could not find me. Drunk, confused and desperate/crying I stood outside of the club when I stranger offer help and WHY DID I fall for it, he took advantage of me and then left me stranded it took me 3 hours to walk barefoot to my house. I should have been more responsible and today I'm wishing I would've never gone out. I felt like dying the day after and I still have those thoughts the only thing stopping me is that I have a beautiful 2 year old son that I need to take care of. I'm praying to God to deliver me from my own thoughts, to give me strength and to allow me to forgive myself. I'm glad I found a site like this the first time I did not speak to anyone about what happened and it haunted me forever but this time around I want to believe I'll make it through.

[~FOUND~]

Hi there.

Welcome to AS.

I hope you find this site to be helpful.

Found

[Guest LovesLoss]

Welcome back to AS. Im so sorry you were hurt again. I know it is really hard not to blame yourself after it happening again, i know i do. But you didnt ask to be hurt. I hope you can find the help and healing you deserve here again.

Take care of you

Loves

[Starry2010]

Welcome

[Wishy]

Welcome back to AS, I'm sorry it's under such sad circumstances though

[~FOUND~]

I hope you are finding your way around the boards ok.

Found

[fightergirl]

Hi minuvida

Welcome to AS

My name is cathy, I am part of the newbie support team here at AS. if there is anything I can do to help let me know

I am really sorry to here what happened you when you were 17, and again what happened recently. It is in no way your fault hun, I am glad youhave decided to share it with us, its not good to keep it all inside. Have you thought of going to a councillor?

Hugs and Support

Cathy

[whimsical1]

welcome minuveda.