Did You Regret Reporting It? Where You Glad?

[louiseroi]

It took me years to acknowledge that it was even r***.I won't say I hate the guy- I almost pity him, he is a pitiable figure, really.He has not grown into a man worth saving from prison, is the sad truth I have to live with. As for reporting or anything,I cant face it, dont want to deal with him or his sh***y life. He is vegetarian and I confess when I read that tofu can give you kidney stones, I punched the air.

And they say there is no justice. In my counselling, it was like this.

Counsellor- So you are saying you hope he has kidney stones?

Me-(laughing) Yes.

I was a nice person once. Where'd she go to?

Edited June 30, 2015 by louiseroi

[EmoFromPain]

I was 14 when I reported it. Was so very scared but I did everything I was asked during questioning and other things they do. He is now out of jail but I can say that I am glad I did it and I hope he learned his lesson.

[OceanBreeze]

No, I do not regret reporting, but I can't say that I was happy. The police were useless, but the detective assigned to my case believed me at least.

[BlueCanvas]

I have no regrets reporting it. In fact I should have done it sooner.

[Wanting2Heal]

I reported it, yesterday. I was in a reck and today is no better. The investigator called to ask if I wanted to press charges. It is/was hurting me thinking about doing it to him. So far, regret for reporting as it has opened up info on him that I would prefer to remain secret. However, I REGRET NOT reporting every man that molested my sister and I.

[Wanting2Heal]

...Hello all, I pressed charges today. It was very hard in so many ways. I couldn't help but yell and cry in the car. Any plans was cancelled as my day was ruined I had a really sweet female detective, but I am regretting reporting and pressing charges. In order to remain firm and strong, the man that I trusted for 15 years has to be a figment of my imitation/ a ghost. Inside, I still want to protect him and make excuses for him even though he r**ped me and left me feeling insane.

[Madhat1980]

This is my first time ever speaking of it so bear with me.I'm meeting with a police detective tomorrow to make the initial report so I hope im making the right choice.these have been the hardest couple days of my life I just told my wife of twelve years about the issue that happendd 25plus years ago..

[SilentBird]

I regret not reporting it. But at this point it is a he said she said because the evidence is gone. I had a friend who reported it immediately and did the whole evidence stuff. I cannot tell you how it was for her because I don't know. I only have a basic understanding. However, I do know that when the guy went to prison, she benefited(helped her heal) due to him being held accountable. 

Edited April 11, 2016 by SilentBird
typo

[geekymomma]

It wasn't really me who reported the incident. My friend did, Honestly, I don't know how to feel about it. I want to forget it ever happened because the incident itself made me have a complete mental break down. Part of me is glad because if the investigation goes the way it should HE wont be able to do this to anyone else. The other part of me is upset because now my parents are upset at me and think I'm a drunk because they wont believe that HE slipped something into my drink. The cop who has been helping me is great but I don't think he believes me either. I honestly want it to go away because I can't sleep at night and I can't be in my own home alone. This whole thing has opened the door of the worst mental break down I have ever had. I have even begun to revert to my eating disorder. However, HE needs to be brought to justice so I am glad my friend reported it. 

[gretchers16]

It took me having a complete debilitating panic attack at work for me to report him.  I tried to go on for a month and three days, but he came in on his day off and I couldn't do it.  Walked by him a few times trying to psych myself up each time and finally I started crying and hyperventilating in the corner.  One of the very nice bakery ladies saw me and took me upstairs where my store leader called the cops.  So even in reporting, I was pretty passive.  But it was empowering.  After that, after telling so many people my story that day, I kept on doing it.  I did it on facebook, I've done it at work, I even told someone that I play an online game with earlier.  I know I make them uncomfortable.  But people need to know that this is happening and it happens to more people than they know.  And it, unfortunately, could happen to them. And I want them to report it much faster and have evidence so their r*pist will be taken off the streets.  Because mine is still doing what he pleases. 

[cac142]

I've been raped/assaulted four times now. The first time was in Italy-I was on a crowded bus with my study abroad group when a man just stuck his fingers up the edge of my shorts and inside me. I didn't know what to do, I have no idea how to react. It took me nearly a week of sleepless night to tell my professor-his reaction was amazing, so compassionate, so helpful, but the police did NOTHING. The second time, I was in a taxi on the way home from a friend's house in Korea-I didn't know where I was, and he took me to a construction site and raped me. Beat me, nearly killing me. The police blamed me-I had to go through lie detector tests and everything-because I must have known him, I must have asked for it. I dealt with a lot of guilt and fear and negative emotions after that. Finally I started to feel better, but recently I was assaulted. I was groped in an elevator at my current job. No one would believe it though, I don't want to deal with putting my name through that to try to have anything done about it. About a month ago, I was with someone I trusted, someone I was starting to date, but I SAID NO. I said it over and over again, but he thought it was a joke, he thought it was a game. I don't want to tell, because I have no proof-we were hanging out a lot, but I didn't want it to happen. I have nightmares all the time. I don't know what to do-I don't want to it happen to someone else, but I don't think anything would actually happen to him. I'm so torn, I don't know what to do. 

[Anonymous75]

I totally suggest reporting it. For your and the world's sake. It took me five years to report a not-very-violent sexual assault that I did not fight out of fear of escalating a situation into something horrifying with a large man on drugs and alcohol. I had moved back to Michigan when I reported it, and the police officer who took the report over the phone was amazing. Obviously very well-trained on this subject. It really couldn't have gone better. He totally got why I had taken five years to report it, too. This is pretty common, apparently. I'm glad I did it because it is now officially on the guy's record in case he tries something like this ever again or has done so in the past. 

This is just my humble opinion, of course. 

Good luck,

Karen

[Anonymous75]

P.S. If you did not want it to happen, it was 100% NOT your fault! The attacker is at fault 100%. And feel free to allow yourself to get pissed-off about this!

[Quiet Rage]

Here's a different slant than most of what has been posted here: I didn't report it and I'm glad I didn't.

What?!?

My abuser was my mom's boyfriend.  He was never violent or rough.  He was always sweet and gentle (which has fucked me up for years, but that's a different story).  He got caught because he tried it with my sister and she told.  My very angry and confrontational mom came at me with questions.  I guess she saw the truth on my face but I denied and denied and denied everything.  I never told or admitted to anything.  Part of that was because I was scared, of course.  I knew it was wrong and my mom was furious and I denied it because I didn't want to be in trouble (ha!).  But at the same time, I didn't want him to be in trouble either.  I loved him (or so I thought, such as it was, etc.).  We had strong bond, even if it was sick.  I didn't want him to get hurt, so I never told.

"You should have reported it!  What if he did it to someone else later?  What if, what if, what if?"

I never saw him again after that night.  If he did molest someone after that, it was nothing to do with me.  That's totally on him.  11-year-old D couldn't be held responsible for the actions of an adult and 32-year-old D isn't responsible for how he did or didn't behave afterward.

So yeah, I didn't report it, I don't regret it, and I'm fairly unapologetic about it.  Now release the hounds!

[rekkorok]

i regret reporting 100%. i’ve reported twice. the first time, after about a week the case was thrown out being called “a waste of our time and resources” to my face. the second time i was grilled about my gender identity in relation to what was done to me, and decided i wouldn’t pursue because to hell with the police and the injustice system. they’re all rotten pork.

[Anonymity please]

I regret reporting it and not talking with the police when they showed up. But I also regret saying anything at all. But moreso, I regret that when I could have reported it a second time, I squandered it by not telling the whole truth because of how I thought people would perceive me.