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new...and raising a daughter from a rape

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I am new here, and I have a 9 year old daughter who was conceived from a rape. I thought I had dealt with it, I thought I had put it behind me. But she has started asking me about her dad nad it brought this tidal wave of lost emotions and it is affecting my normal daily life now. I am so hurt I am taking it out on everyone. i realized I had only buried it and now its back. i am so lost, so confused and so angry......

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Hi I am ann...I am fairly new here too..I am so sorry for the pain you have gone through...Your feelings are important..Do you have someone close you can talk about your daughter..I have no idea how to help you ..yet I will listen.....Therapy can be very helpful...it has been for me....I am thinking of you....

ann

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((((momster)))) Hi and Welcome to After Silence. Glad you found your way here yet sorry you have reason to be here. It is the age for your daughter to question her parentage. Naturally buried emotions come to the surface in a frenzy. It's no wonder you're feeling confused, lost and angry. Know that all your emotions are valid. We are here for you. Be kind to yourself. I hope you find this site as warm and supportive as I have :)

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Thank you.. We started counceling to help me deal with this pain and help her deal with the fat her father is not around. The first day was rough. I wish that was all it took was one day. but that was just the opening of the flood gates, now I am trying to tame the river.

There are days I can go on smile and forget it, and days that no matter what it dictates my days.

The councelor told me I feel shame. And she was right, but will that ever go away? Will I ever for one moment not fel embarassed about it?

She also suggested Group Therapy with others. i initially said no...I can't bear to stand on front of others and openly tell them what occured. Have any of you tried that?

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(((momster))) Welcome to After Silence. I am sorry you have gone through so much. I am glad you found your way here though. I hope you find healing and support as i have. I wish i knew what to say with regards to your daughter asking about her dad... i just know that you are not alone in feeling angry, confused, alone, and lost.... I am glad you are getting councelling. Therapy is so tough. I know the fealing of "taming the river". I have only been dealing with all this recently. I cant say that i dont feel shame anymore. I do... but it does get easier. I also just started group therapy about a month ago. It has been so helpful...more than individual sessions because for me, i have somewhat of an anonimity within the group, yet still taking good info away from it. At group, we are never forced to talk if we dont want to. It is also good because then you do not feel so alone when things get tough, or you dont feel so "different" when all these emotions come out. I hope this helps. Please let me know if you ever need anything. We are here for you. We will support you.

love clarissa

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