New To The After Silence Forum

[sherrig]

Hi...I'm Sherri...it's taken me a very long time to join a survivor's forum. I've joined a this & a couple of others...I've posted some of what I've experienced on one of the forums I joined. I've had memories since childhood (I'll be 40 later this year). It didn't occur to me that I was violated in any way until my mid-20's when I asked my Mom a couple of questions regarding my memories (my parents had absolutely no idea anything had happened - they were vacationing in Europe at the time). She had no clue what I was talking about & then it hit me like a ton of bricks & then the tears started & I couldn't explain to her why I was crying. I finally told her in 2004. She said she believed me at first (I was really freaked out & emotional at the time so I think she was really just trying to calm me down). The next day she had told pretty much everyone she knew - family & friends...she also called me a liar & that it couldn't possibly have happened (it was her brother). My brother & stepfather sided with her. I was basically forced into silence except I can't live this way anymore so I've decided to say f**k everyone & talk about it until someone believes me. I feel in my heart this is the right decision but it's painful as hell. A friend helped me find a therapist who I hope will be able to help. My mother is insisting that she, my stepfather & brother have a meeting with this therapist without me first so that she can tell him how I lie about everything & not to trust me...I don't know what to do about this...especially since I need a therapist to help me deal with my family. I live & work with them & endure emotional abuse (& sometimes physical).

Namaste,

Sherri

[littlegirllost4ever]

I don't want to say not to worry because we all worry. It is human nature and this is very traumatic for you. However, therapist are trained professionals and if that happens she/he will see right through that. I am sorry that they aren't on your side and you are having to deal with all of this. We are here to listen at anytime. I would like to say though. That you don't have to let them talk to your therapist at all. This is your decision and yours only and you need to do what you have to in order to get through this.

[~FOUND~]

HI there.

Welcome to AS.

I hope you find this site to be helpful.

Found

[sherrig]

I know but if I don't let them have access to whichever therapist I choose, they threaten to either kick me out (I cannot allow myself to be homeless...I'm already messed up) or they'll put me in a psych ward for a few weeks...I'm not strong enough to fight them.

Namaste,

Sherri

I don't want to say not to worry because we all worry. It is human nature and this is very traumatic for you. However, therapist are trained professionals and if that happens she/he will see right through that. I am sorry that they aren't on your side and you are having to deal with all of this. We are here to listen at anytime. I would like to say though. That you don't have to let them talk to your therapist at all. This is your decision and yours only and you need to do what you have to in order to get through this.

[sherrig]

Thank you for welcoming me...I hope this site is helpful too.

HI there.

Welcome to AS.

I hope you find this site to be helpful.

Found

[~FOUND~]

Anytime hun.

Are you finding your way around the boards ok?

Found

[sherrig]

Yes I am thank you!

Anytime hun.

Are you finding your way around the boards ok?

Found

[~FOUND~]

[whimsical1]

welcome to as, sherri.

[Guest SaraElizabeth]

Hi Sherri and welcome to AS

My name is Sara and I'm a member of the Newbie Support Team here at AfterSilence which was set up to help new members settle in. So if you have any questions or problems then feel free to send me a message and I'll do my best to help you out.

I'm glad you're taking steps to heal - joining these forums and speaking out can be really rewarding. I agree with what littlegirllost says - if your therapist does meet with your mother and stepfather she will see through it as a trained professional.

I hope you're settling in ok here.

Take good care,

Sara x

[MidnightSunshine531]

welcome to AS