readytoliveagain Posted February 9, 2010 Share Posted February 9, 2010 Hi, My name is Megan. I am brand new to this board or any other board for that matter. I very recently have come to crossroads in my life... I have two beautiful little girls but have been in an unhappy marriage for years. After trying to sit down and just "talk" with my husband, I realized that was uncomfortable for me, didn't really know what to say, found myself wanting a distraction. My husband got upset with me, saying "why can't we just sit down and talk together, spend some time together".. and I really didn't have an answer. From there, the past was brought into it, our problems, my distance, and I was told that I have NEVER let him get close to me, that from day one my walls were already up. After sitting for a little while, I ended up googling "surviving rape"... I am 30 now, and from the age of 16-20, I was date raped 4 separate times, by 4 different men. I have blamed myself for putting myself in bad situations by drinking, by hanging out with people I didn't know very well.. I have blamed myself for being weak and not fighting back. I told myself all these years that I was just strong and didn't need to deal with it, but pushing it away and not learning how to deal with the pain, was not being "strong". Now I'm here. I want my life back. I want my family strong. I am tired of being broken. I've come here as a beginning step to find a way to become the person I was meant to be. The happy, loving, forgiving, kind, caring, patient woman God created me to be. Not the angry, unforgiving, bitter, hateful, fearful person I have become. Thanks for listening. Link to post
purpleflower123 Posted February 9, 2010 Share Posted February 9, 2010 You sound like a very strong person. Remember, it is never your fault. I'm sure that you can heal! Link to post
whimsical1 Posted February 9, 2010 Share Posted February 9, 2010 Welcome to AS, readytoliveagain. Link to post
~FOUND~ Posted February 9, 2010 Share Posted February 9, 2010 Hi there. Welcome to AS. I hope you find this site to be helpful. Found Link to post
MagicalForest Posted February 9, 2010 Share Posted February 9, 2010 Heya Megan, welcome to AS! Forest x Link to post
roxyskater Posted February 9, 2010 Share Posted February 9, 2010 Hello and Welcome to After the Silence You will find lots of support and encouragement here at AS. The people here are kind and understanding and sensitive to your needs. Feel free to dicuss anything you need to here, we are all good listeners too. I am so glad you found us and joined our community. Please take good care of yourself and God Bless. Sincerely, Roxy Link to post
Guest SaraElizabeth Posted February 9, 2010 Share Posted February 9, 2010 Hi Megan and welcome to AS My name is Sara and I'm a member of the Newbie Support Team which was set up to help new members settle in, so if you have any questions or problems then feel free to send me a message and I'll do my best to help you out. It was not your fault - the blame lies with the people who hurt you. I hope being here, with people who understand (its a common feeling to feel like it's your fault) and will support you will help you out. Take good care, Sara x Link to post
rtuttle Posted February 9, 2010 Share Posted February 9, 2010 Hi, My name is Megan. I am brand new to this board or any other board for that matter. I very recently have come to crossroads in my life... I have two beautiful little girls but have been in an unhappy marriage for years. After trying to sit down and just "talk" with my husband, I realized that was uncomfortable for me, didn't really know what to say, found myself wanting a distraction. My husband got upset with me, saying "why can't we just sit down and talk together, spend some time together".. and I really didn't have an answer. From there, the past was brought into it, our problems, my distance, and I was told that I have NEVER let him get close to me, that from day one my walls were already up. After sitting for a little while, I ended up googling "surviving rape"... I am 30 now, and from the age of 16-20, I was date raped 4 separate times, by 4 different men. I have blamed myself for putting myself in bad situations by drinking, by hanging out with people I didn't know very well.. I have blamed myself for being weak and not fighting back. I told myself all these years that I was just strong and didn't need to deal with it, but pushing it away and not learning how to deal with the pain, was not being "strong". Now I'm here. I want my life back. I want my family strong. I am tired of being broken. I've come here as a beginning step to find a way to become the person I was meant to be. The happy, loving, forgiving, kind, caring, patient woman God created me to be. Not the angry, unforgiving, bitter, hateful, fearful person I have become. Thanks for listening. Wow I can't beilieve how much I identify with you. It has taken me 30 years to deal with SA and I give you alot of credit to have the awarness to know that it affects all relationships. Welcome to AS and keep sharing. We do not have to live under its control. BB Link to post
readytoliveagain Posted February 9, 2010 Author Share Posted February 9, 2010 Thank you everyone for welcoming me, I truly appreciate it. rtuttle, I'm glad to know there are people out there that understand how I feel. It makes me feel not so alone, and God knows most of us have spent a long time feeling alone. I appreciate the encouragement. Link to post
YankeeDara Posted February 10, 2010 Share Posted February 10, 2010 Hello there and welcome. Link to post
gr33nEyez Posted February 12, 2010 Share Posted February 12, 2010 i am familiar with a lot of what you feel and i think its a WONDERFUL, AMAZING THING that you're seeking help. i hope you like this place as much as i do so far. good luck. god bless. Link to post
bitsanpieces Posted February 12, 2010 Share Posted February 12, 2010 Welcome, Im new here to for the same reasons to begin a new and to be whole and happy again. Together we can make a healing! I know your ready and thats half the battle. Nice to meet you Hi, My name is Megan. I am brand new to this board or any other board for that matter. I very recently have come to crossroads in my life... I have two beautiful little girls but have been in an unhappy marriage for years. After trying to sit down and just "talk" with my husband, I realized that was uncomfortable for me, didn't really know what to say, found myself wanting a distraction. My husband got upset with me, saying "why can't we just sit down and talk together, spend some time together".. and I really didn't have an answer. From there, the past was brought into it, our problems, my distance, and I was told that I have NEVER let him get close to me, that from day one my walls were already up. After sitting for a little while, I ended up googling "surviving rape"... I am 30 now, and from the age of 16-20, I was date raped 4 separate times, by 4 different men. I have blamed myself for putting myself in bad situations by drinking, by hanging out with people I didn't know very well.. I have blamed myself for being weak and not fighting back. I told myself all these years that I was just strong and didn't need to deal with it, but pushing it away and not learning how to deal with the pain, was not being "strong". Now I'm here. I want my life back. I want my family strong. I am tired of being broken. I've come here as a beginning step to find a way to become the person I was meant to be. The happy, loving, forgiving, kind, caring, patient woman God created me to be. Not the angry, unforgiving, bitter, hateful, fearful person I have become. Thanks for listening. Link to post
~FOUND~ Posted March 7, 2010 Share Posted March 7, 2010 I was wondering how you are doing? I ahven't seen you for a while. Found Link to post
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