Another Newbie...

[LittleGirlBlue]

It's been a rough few weeks. Memories, feeling trapped at home...Finally, things came to a head. During an arguement with my father who just couldn't understand why I was so upset all the time and wanted to leave home, I told him. His initial reaction wasn't what I hoped it would be. There was no look of sympathy on his face. He just said, "Oh, I didn't know that." I then told him that I didn't report it or tell him what happened because I was so afraid. He told me that was a "mistake". I tried to say, "But you don't understand, I was just too afraid to say anything." Then, he started yelling, "I don't care! Anytime a crime has been committed you report it! Plain and simple!" I was stunned. I said, "Thanks for making me feel even worse about it." Then, he just kept yelling, and I walked away. I locked myself in my room and cried and cried. I called a guy I had recently started seeing, and he listened. But only for a little bit. He already had to put up with me being sad for a day or so over the weekend. After listening for all of 10 minutes, he said he needed to go do something really important and that he'd call back. He never did. I called my best friend who knew about my past. She stayed on the phone with me for however long I needed to be on the phone. I should have called her first. It was stupid of me to think that that new guy would understand or have the patience. My friend told me to write my dad a letter explaining my feelings because it would be easier for me to get things down on paper. Then she told me to try talking to my mom. I was afraid because my mom just doesn't understand a lot of things. But, I took her advice. And I'm glad I did. My mom hugged me and said, "I'm so sorry that happened to you. I'm so sorry you had to go through all that. And I'm so sorry you were so afraid to tell us." She listened to all I had to say and gave me hugs when I needed it. So, at least one person is on my side. I left the letter for my dad and I know he read it. Now, all I can do is wait until he gets home from work and see what happens from there...

[Charlene]

:hug: :hug:

~charlene~

[_Still_Here_]

I'm sorry your dad reacted the way he did. I know that my dad had kind of a similar reaction when I confessed to my parents about my r*pe. He was crying and upset and very supportive, but to this day he still tells me I should have told him right away and it would not have been this bad. It hurts me because he thinks I didn't tell him because I didn't trust him, and i know how much he hurts because I didn't tell him right away. Maybe your dad feels the same way, maybe he's just a little hurt that you couldn't come to him right away so he could help you. Parents are like that about things like this. I hid everything for over a month... it was terrible. It was so great to be able to finally tell my parents.

I hope things get better for you. I know how hard it can be, but maybe if you try talking to them about it, or even do some kind of group therapy session, it would help them to understand what happened to you and then you could all get through it together.

~*Tori*~

[Donna]

((((((Littlegirlblue))))))))

Welcome to the board sweetheart.

Donna =)

[goodlucifer]

I hope everything turns out well for you

[smilingtears]

i didnt tell my parents write away because i was scared i felt assamed and sometimes i still do. but please go to the authorities about it itll make you feel better and they might be able to put him away for a long time.

ill keep you im my prayers

kristine

[Jessie]

Littlegirlblue

Welcome to after silence...I'm sorry your dad reacted the way he did and I do hope he and you the support you need and deserve. Luv Jess xxx

[Cira]

Welcome to our family, sweetie.

[SheShy]

WELCOME TO AFTER SILENCE :hug:

Christy

[Guest hurtingforever]

Welcome to After Silence sweetie.

Lindsay

[i was here]

Well done...that was a big step

I didnt want to tell my dad, and wish i hadnt...but i was forced to after a month...and he told my stepmum hu was such an IDIOT about it all, saying she knew all along what had happened and i deserved it

it was below the belt and has pretty much destroyed the trust i had with my dad, which was hard enough cos he was male!now they expect me to be totally ok and everything (they dont know much about it...but i think my dad'd rather pretend it never happened...and who knows about my step mum)

neway...im goin off my point...

Im glad you've done it and i reallly hope it gets better for you...

Whatever happens, It WASNT you're fault...even not reporting it WASN'T wrong...I haven't yet...I cudn't...and unless you've been in that position no1 has the right to tell you what you did was wrong..you did what you could at the time.

[Adrienne]

Congratulations on telling them. I know it must have been hard. I'm glad that at least your mom was supportive, and maybe your dad will come around. Maybe he just doesn't know what he should say, or maybe he's really mad at the perpetrator for hurting you but taking it out on you instead.

[rosicles]

i agree. my mum always asks why i didn't say anything sooner. it's cus we don't know how and we will think that they will be ashamed and disgusted, cus if we think that of uorselves, they'll surely think that too. and we would rather have it happen again then get rejected. and mum thinks i didn't trust her too. but maybe the time was right when i told.

[your.beautiful.mistake]

(((Littlebluegirl)))

Welcome to AS. Welcome to our family.

Love,

Alex

[FadeToBlack]

Good job telling them, that must have taken tons of strength. (I haven't told my parents and never plan on doing so..) I'm sorry your dad reacted like that, though... but I'm glad your friend listened as much as she did. I'm here to listen, too... anytime. I only joined a couple of days ago, but I hope you feel as welcome here as I do. ((Littlebluegirl)) Welcome, sweetie.

Love,

Sarah

[Jane]

Welcome to AS, I hope you find support and comfort here like I have.

[drowning000]

hey hunny.. im sorry for how things have turned out for you, but remember that uv taken one HUGE step that alot of us, including me.. havent done yet.. well done!! i hope u find it as good as i do hear!!!

Racheal

[foreverxsilent]

However he reacted, I think you're very brave. I could never tell my parents (or anyone, for that matter) what happened to me. So well done for having the courage to do it.

x <3 x

[LittleGirlBlue]

Thank you all so much for your support. I am glad to know that no matter how I feel, I've got a place to come to where people understand.

Things are going much better with my parents. And thanks to some open discussion, they are being very supportive. It isn't easy for them, of course. But they are doing the best they know how and I love them for it.

But once again, thanks for the love.