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I Have Found My Voice....


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I would like to introduce myself and say Hi :hi: to everyone on AS!!

My name is Jen and I am a survivor of 7 years of sexual abuse, starting when I was 8 years old. Although my physical abuse ended many years ago, I have still been effected by it every day since. I only recently found my voice and courage to talk about it. Sometimes I wish I had found it sooner, but instead I remained silent and endured the abuse so that my younger sister could have the childhood my older brother stole from me!

Its been a long road of healing but I am finally at the point of truly feeling like a survivor and not a victim. Of course this doesn't mean my healing is done just that I am headed in the right direction! About a year ago I had the word "Strength" tattooed on my left wrist and the word "Courage" tattooed on my right wrist. I used this as a conversation starter to tell people I had been raped...It takes strength to make it through such trauma and courage to talk about it! When that became easy enough to do, I decided to get a Survivor tattoo. Last Friday I did just that, I had an awareness ribbon tattooed on my left shoulder. The ribbon itself starts as purple and does a perfect transition into blue with the word "Survivor" written on it. It's beautiful and I love it! When people ask me what ribbon it is, I look at them and say its for sexual abuse. People seem to get the rest since it says survivor. I only wish telling my parents would be as easy, but it's something I have not been able to do to this day.

I am 24 now, and happily married to my high school sweet heart! I owe him so much, and think that I could never truly express how much he means to me. He is the reason my abuse stopped, because of my love for him I found the strength to "tell my brother off". He was the first person I ever told my story to, and he has been patient with me through out my healing. Afterall he was in love with ME and not just the thought of having sex with me! I love him with all of my heart and am so lucky to have him by my side.

Thank you to everyone on here for all the support you show to each other. It's truly amazing and it brings tears of joy to my eyes. I have searched so long for a place like this, where I can really feel like I am not alone.

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Hello,

My name is Bob, and as you can guess, I am Jen's biggest supporter. I was the first person that she told about her abuse, and I have been with her on her path of healing ever since. I guess that I don't really feel like the hero that she sees me as. I just feel like I've only done what any normal, decent guy would do in our situation. I've loved her and supported her. I've protected her and helped her surround herself with people that she feels safe around. I've taken everything at her pace, and I've been as sensitive as I know how to be to her needs. I've never claimed to know what she's going through, because I know that her experience is unique to her. I just know how I've been affected. I do feel like much of my life has been shaped by Jen's needs, in many ways that have made me feel like a victim at times. But that doesn't matter because if I could take on all of her pain for her, I would. I will never let her go through her path to healing alone.

Jen's avatar is of a little kitty and a big wolf standing behind it, protecting it. Jen is the kitty, and I am the wolf. For that reason, my nickname is Cuchulainn, an Irish name meaning "the hound of Culainn". It was the name of Ireland's greatest hero, who was given the name when he served to replace a blacksmith's guard dog.

Jen is a very special person. She is a very strong person. She is getting stronger every day. She is getting stronger every time she tells someone new about her experience. She is growing stronger every time she refers to herself as a Survivor, not as a Victim. She just got a tattoo a couple of days ago that is a half blue/half purple ribbon that says Survivor on it. So now she has made it a part of her and it can never be taken away (without a cheese grater or sand paper, of course).

I am currently going to college for psychology. My goal is to work with Veterans with PTSD and with Survivors to help them learn to turn their past into fuel for a brighter future.

Being a secondary survivor has affected me in many ways, so I will have much to contribute, questions to ask, and plenty of perspective to offer here. I hope it helps us all.

Many Blessings,

Bob

Cuchulainn

I would like to introduce myself and say Hi :hi: to everyone on AS!!

My name is Jen and I am a survivor of 7 years of sexual abuse, starting when I was 8 years old. Although my physical abuse ended many years ago, I have still been effected by it every day since. I only recently found my voice and courage to talk about it. Sometimes I wish I had found it sooner, but instead I remained silent and endured the abuse so that my younger sister could have the childhood my older brother stole from me!

Its been a long road of healing but I am finally at the point of truly feeling like a survivor and not a victim. Of course this doesn't mean my healing is done just that I am headed in the right direction! About a year ago I had the word "Strength" tattooed on my left wrist and the word "Courage" tattooed on my right wrist. I used this as a conversation starter to tell people I had been raped...It takes strength to make it through such trauma and courage to talk about it! When that became easy enough to do, I decided to get a Survivor tattoo. Last Friday I did just that, I had an awareness ribbon tattooed on my left shoulder. The ribbon itself starts as purple and does a perfect transition into blue with the word "Survivor" written on it. It's beautiful and I love it! When people ask me what ribbon it is, I look at them and say its for sexual abuse. People seem to get the rest since it says survivor. I only wish telling my parents would be as easy, but it's something I have not been able to do to this day.

I am 24 now, and happily married to my high school sweet heart! I owe him so much, and think that I could never truly express how much he means to me. He is the reason my abuse stopped, because of my love for him I found the strength to "tell my brother off". He was the first person I ever told my story to, and he has been patient with me through out my healing. Afterall he was in love with ME and not just the thought of having sex with me! I love him with all of my heart and am so lucky to have him by my side.

Thank you to everyone on here for all the support you show to each other. It's truly amazing and it brings tears of joy to my eyes. I have searched so long for a place like this, where I can really feel like I am not alone.

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:hi: HI Jen, welcome to AS , I hope being here will help on your healing journey :flowers:

:hi: HI Bob, welcome also, its lovely to read about someone who is so supportive of the woman he loves, I hope being here will help you too,

take care and best wishes to both of you,

Paula :flowers:

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Hi Jen :wave:

welcome to AS

My name is Cathy, I am part of the newbie support team here at Aftersilence. I will be happy to help you settle in, if you have any problems or questions you send me or any member of the team a personal message

I am sorry for what your brother did :hug: Its good to see that you no longer feel like a victim, its a big step to go from victim to survivor. its great that you got them taotoo's I have been wanting for a while now to get a tattoo that symbolises what I went through but can't seem to find one that I want. I don't think I would be brave enough to get the ribbon.. It sounds very cool though.

Its brilliant to see that you have a good supporter your side :hug:

hugs and support

Cathy

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Hi,

Welcome to AS. I am sorry for what has brought you here but I am glad you found us. This is a great safe place and I hope you get as much support as you want/need. There is no pressure to post anything so just take your time

Take gentle care

-TL

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Aloha Cathy,

Thank you for the welcome. I think the best part of this forum is seeing how Jen has really jumped in head first, has been reading so many posts, that I think she's trying to catch up on everything she's missed since the beginning, and really seeing how happy she is to have found all of you. I can't wait to see where she goes from here.

Slainte,

Cuchulainn

Hi bob :wave:

You sound like a great support.. its lovely to see a man who is so supportive. I used to love all the stories of Cuchulainn!

Cathy

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Hi Jen, and welcome to AS. :)

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I would like to introduce myself and say Hi :hi: to everyone on AS!!

My name is Jen and I am a survivor of 7 years of sexual abuse, starting when I was 8 years old. Although my physical abuse ended many years ago, I have still been effected by it every day since. I only recently found my voice and courage to talk about it. Sometimes I wish I had found it sooner, but instead I remained silent and endured the abuse so that my younger sister could have the childhood my older brother stole from me!

Its been a long road of healing but I am finally at the point of truly feeling like a survivor and not a victim. Of course this doesn't mean my healing is done just that I am headed in the right direction! About a year ago I had the word "Strength" tattooed on my left wrist and the word "Courage" tattooed on my right wrist. I used this as a conversation starter to tell people I had been raped...It takes strength to make it through such trauma and courage to talk about it! When that became easy enough to do, I decided to get a Survivor tattoo. Last Friday I did just that, I had an awareness ribbon tattooed on my left shoulder. The ribbon itself starts as purple and does a perfect transition into blue with the word "Survivor" written on it. It's beautiful and I love it! When people ask me what ribbon it is, I look at them and say its for sexual abuse. People seem to get the rest since it says survivor. I only wish telling my parents would be as easy, but it's something I have not been able to do to this day.

I am 24 now, and happily married to my high school sweet heart! I owe him so much, and think that I could never truly express how much he means to me. He is the reason my abuse stopped, because of my love for him I found the strength to "tell my brother off". He was the first person I ever told my story to, and he has been patient with me through out my healing. Afterall he was in love with ME and not just the thought of having sex with me! I love him with all of my heart and am so lucky to have him by my side.

Thank you to everyone on here for all the support you show to each other. It's truly amazing and it brings tears of joy to my eyes. I have searched so long for a place like this, where I can really feel like I am not alone.

Hi Jen welcome to AS. You have such a great outlook on life. I like the meanings behind your tats. I often wondered about adding something that had to do with my abuse. I'm glad you have a wonderful husband to have your back in all of this. He sound amazing!!!! :hug:

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Hello,

My name is Bob, and as you can guess, I am Jen's biggest supporter. I was the first person that she told about her abuse, and I have been with her on her path of healing ever since. I guess that I don't really feel like the hero that she sees me as. I just feel like I've only done what any normal, decent guy would do in our situation. I've loved her and supported her. I've protected her and helped her surround herself with people that she feels safe around. I've taken everything at her pace, and I've been as sensitive as I know how to be to her needs. I've never claimed to know what she's going through, because I know that her experience is unique to her. I just know how I've been affected. I do feel like much of my life has been shaped by Jen's needs, in many ways that have made me feel like a victim at times. But that doesn't matter because if I could take on all of her pain for her, I would. I will never let her go through her path to healing alone.

Jen's avatar is of a little kitty and a big wolf standing behind it, protecting it. Jen is the kitty, and I am the wolf. For that reason, my nickname is Cuchulainn, an Irish name meaning "the hound of Culainn". It was the name of Ireland's greatest hero, who was given the name when he served to replace a blacksmith's guard dog.

Jen is a very special person. She is a very strong person. She is getting stronger every day. She is getting stronger every time she tells someone new about her experience. She is growing stronger every time she refers to herself as a Survivor, not as a Victim. She just got a tattoo a couple of days ago that is a half blue/half purple ribbon that says Survivor on it. So now she has made it a part of her and it can never be taken away (without a cheese grater or sand paper, of course).

I am currently going to college for psychology. My goal is to work with Veterans with PTSD and with Survivors to help them learn to turn their past into fuel for a brighter future.

Being a secondary survivor has affected me in many ways, so I will have much to contribute, questions to ask, and plenty of perspective to offer here. I hope it helps us all.

Many Blessings,

Bob

Cuchulainn

Hey Bob, Welcome to AS!!! I'm so glad Jen has you in her life. You seem like a wonderful guy!

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