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New Here And Really Afraid I Wont Be Welcome


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Sorry to so shamelessly fish for support, but I'm scared to death of being rejected. The main reason is that I'm a guy. Also, I've had two female councilors who refered me on because they thought that a male councilor could better help me, and I've found a truly excellent one. Unfortunately, I just can't trust a man enough for counciling to get anywhere. I'm not sure what to do about that, but I've been observing here for a while and this seems like a really good, safe place to get some kind of support. Hopefully, I can do some good as well.

I'm 35, from America, married to an amazing woman, and have four wonderful, beautiful kids (all teenagers). Life is so good in so many ways, but I feel like two people. There's the me that's thriving and happy, and there's the me that's sick and afraid and alone.

I'm not sure what else to say, but I'm glad that I found this place.

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First thing I want to say is WELCOME. No one here will reject you. I mean, the category of these topics is WELCOME. So you have already been automatically welcome. There are plenty of men here who are going through similar things that you are. This is a wonderful site full of wonderful people, and you will get all the support that you need. Don't be afraid to ask for it if that's what you need. We are all here to help each other through these tough times.

Oh, I'm sure your children are wonderful, although teenagers are a handful. I should know...I am one. haha. I hope you find your path to healing here. PM me if you ever want to talk, or have any questions.

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Welcome. I'm still a new here too. I just joined two day ago and I also am male.

So far, I've recieved a tremendous amount of support from the ladies.

I'm 48 and a survior of sexual abuse. This site has been great for me the last couple days. Things are really bad between my wife and I. I also have two wonderful daughters.

I have been in therapy with women therapists for 8 years, and am finally able to share what has happened and how it has destoyed my life.

No judging here, just acceptance. I think you'll like it.

Pat

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Not to be sappy or anything, but I'm really really proud of the men that come here and open up. It's scary enough for me (a woman) and society is much more understanding of it happening to a girl. I feel like there are a huge number of men out there that have experienced some terrible things, but since society tells us men need to be "strong" and therefore never show emotion, very few men ever say anything. Well I for one am glad you have. People need community to get through these things. And while society as a whole may not understand it, I think those that have been through it can. It's scary opening up, but it's worth it. Welcome to healing.

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cantasleepa - I am so glad you've come here. You are most certainly welcome and I'm very sorry that you're having difficulties and that things happened to you to bring you here. I know what you mean when you say there are two of you, one that's doing great and one that isn't. That totally describes how I feel, too.

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:hi: Hi and welcome to AS, of course you are welcome here, our pain is the same regardless of what gender we are. I hope being here will bring you peace and healing, :flowers:
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there are a few other guys here to that u can talk to one is brotherof8 and i forget the other guys name but there are guys here to . this site doesnt discriminate just cause ur a guy. welcome :)

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You are absolutely welcomed here, but I can understand you fear of rejection on a site like this. There are a few survivors here who are uncomfortable sharing with a male survivor. I am not one of them.

Welcome to AS. I am glad your found this place too. There are tons of supportive ppl here.

:youcanheal::notalone::youcanheal::notalone:

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Hi,

My name is Lynn, and I am a member of the New Member Support Team. I just wanted to take the time to say welcome to After Silence. I can so identify with your description of the two parts of your personality. I am there too. Though, here lately, the part of me that needed to heal has seemed to come to the forefront.

I have been here a good while now, and I want you to know that, at least from what I have seen, our male members receive support and are welcomed into the community. However, John, who is another member of the Newbie Support Team, could probably tell you more than me. That is his username as well. If you need another man to share with, I am sure that he would gladly help in anyway possible.

I hope that you find comfort and support here. I am glad that you have joined with us and look forward to getting to know you. If you need anything or have questions about the boards or how something works, please send me a personal message. I will gladly help in any way possible...also if you need someone to listen, let me know.

Take care,

Your Sister in Survival,

Lynn

Edited by sisterinsurvival
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Welcome to AS. :)

Click on the link below to meet some of the male and female Adult Survivors.

http://www.aftersilence.org/forum/index.ph...c=54369&hl=

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Welcome! As I recently expressed to pwims, it takes a lot of strength to open up to things like this. But we are all the same when it comes down to it, we share common experiences, love, compassion and openness for eachother. You have found a wonderful place!

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How can I possibly thank all of you? I'm truly overwhelmed by your outpouring of welcome and support. Even though my abuse happened when I was young, I only started to try to deal with it a couple of years ago after I unraveled over a similar thing happening to someone that I love. I've tried to be proactive in getting help but everything, save this, has been a disaster. (Of course, I'm not putting all my hopes here, but it definitely has its place.)

Just thank you, so much.

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Hello Cantasleepa!

Welcome to A.S. :flowers:

This is a very supportive place for all types of survivors!!! I truly believe you will find some help, advice, insight, support, or whatever your looking for.

Take care & I look forward to seeing you post on the boards!!!

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:notalone::supportu::youcanheal::aswelcomesu:

Hi welcome to AS :flowers: I am glad that you have decided to join our online family, this is a wonderful place to find lots of support and understanding. We have many wonderful men here on this site, I hope eventually you will see that you are very welcome here and that you deserve to be supported just as much as all of us females. I look forward to seeing you around the boards. Take care.

:hug: :hug:

Sad

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I'm also new here, and also male. So hey, you aren't the only one =)

Btw, Serenity--love the om avatar.

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  • 1 year later...
Sorry to so shamelessly fish for support, but I'm scared to death of being rejected. The main reason is that I'm a guy. Also, I've had two female councilors who refered me on because they thought that a male councilor could better help me, and I've found a truly excellent one. Unfortunately, I just can't trust a man enough for counciling to get anywhere. I'm not sure what to do about that, but I've been observing here for a while and this seems like a really good, safe place to get some kind of support. Hopefully, I can do some good as well.

I'm 35, from America, married to an amazing woman, and have four wonderful, beautiful kids (all teenagers). Life is so good in so many ways, but I feel like two people. There's the me that's thriving and happy, and there's the me that's sick and afraid and alone.

I'm not sure what else to say, but I'm glad that I found this place.

Welcome Cantasleepa!

Don't worry everyone is welcome here (including guys :) ). This site is a good place to turn too. There are a lot of kindhearted people on here.

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:hi:

Welcome. I hope you find solace and comfort here.

Light and Love

KC

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Glad you are here.

It's a good place to be.

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