Chat Room Questions

[riverbird]

Just a couple questions/comments:

1. I have to admit I've been feeling a bit uncomfortable with people coming in to chat and "parking" there but not saying anything. I do tend to overthink things, but when I come into a room with 5 people who all aren't talking, I start to feel like the oddity in the room everyone is staring at. Or like everyone stopped talking because i'm there. Now logically I understand that it probably has nothing to do with me, and that people need the chat so they don't feel alone, but it makes me feel more alone to come to a place where there are people but no one is talking. Not sure if there's anything that can be done about this....but maybe just something to watch out for?

2. Is there anywhere to chat about triggering topics? Is there any way to have a second room for that, or chat private messages available or something? I've seen it happen often that someone really needs to talk but is unable to because it might trigger others. When a person asks to talk about something triggering, i've seen close to half the chat leave because they don't want to admit they'll be triggered by it. I'm sure this has been brought up before but I couldn't find it...so sorry if this is a repeat question.

[dodo]

Unfortunately we only have the one chat room at the moment - whether this can change I am not sure.

I am sorry if you have gone into chat and found it very quiet - there could be a couple of reasons for this - sometimes the room does naturally fall into quietness - as people mull over what has been said - if you come in at that point it can feel as if people are being 'too' quiet - but if you say hi and people reply then it might take a moment or two to get a conversation going again.

No one should 'lurk' in chat however - this can make others feel very uncomfortable - private chat was discontinued some time back - many member were finding private chat overwhelming and many others were feeling ignored in the main room because of the over use of private chat - after several reminders reguarding this - it was decided to disable the private chat feature.

Hope this helps

karen

[riverbird]

Unfortunately we only have the one chat room at the moment - whether this can change I am not sure.

I am sorry if you have gone into chat and found it very quiet - there could be a couple of reasons for this - sometimes the room does naturally fall into quietness - as people mull over what has been said - if you come in at that point it can feel as if people are being 'too' quiet - but if you say hi and people reply then it might take a moment or two to get a conversation going again.

No one should 'lurk' in chat however - this can make others feel very uncomfortable - private chat was discontinued some time back - many member were finding private chat overwhelming and many others were feeling ignored in the main room because of the over use of private chat - after several reminders reguarding this - it was decided to disable the private chat feature.

Hope this helps

karen

Thanks dodo,

Unfortunately I am referring to after I have said hi, how is everyone, that kind of stuff and being unable to get anyone to respond. I will try to get conversation going and no one says anything, no one appears to be typing anything according to the little symbols along the side....it just seems totally dead even though there are multiple people in the room. The people who do respond seem to be preoccupied with other things (and admit to that) so to me it seems more like just lurking. Like I said, I understand not wanting to talk much, but it has left me feeling uncomfortable on multiple occaisons. Sorry to complain. I guess I just wanted people to be aware that they might be upsetting others by doing that...

[revolution08]

Sometimes the conversation is just dead. It can be hard to make small talk for some people. The room is full of a myriad of different personalities...not all of which "click" for an ideal conversation. I think its important to be patient and wait until the vibe of the room picks up a bit. Otherwise, you can just leave chat and return later, when there's more activity.

As far as people leaving rather than "admitting" they will be triggered: well, thats sort of the point of the whole 'chat at your own risk' concept. We can't possibly predict who will be triggered by what, so it each chatter's responsibility to gauge where they are and make the best decision as to stay or leave. It doesn't mean they don't want to support and listen to the chatter who needs to discuss a triggering topic- its just that they aren't in a place to talk about triggery topics. Our #1 priority is always safety and that includes taking care of ourselves.

I'm sorry you're feeling so frustrated with chat. Give it some time and patience and I'm confident it will work out

[tmj1984]

Hey Riverbird... I was wondering the same thing. I am at a point where I can talk about triggering events. I've been at that place for awhile now. And I would also like to be able to talk to people who are also able to talk about those things. I think it seems like a good suggestion for a more open chat room. As for some people just not talking at all.... I usually always participate, but sometimes I am thinking of a subject to start or I am trying to read what others have said so I can join in the conversation. So personally I'm not lingering. But hopefully they will keep that 2nd chat room in mind.