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Admins Mods Newbie Support Team?

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Hi all, Am really curious to know what it's like for those of you who work on these boards in whatever capacity -

Does it help your healing?

Give you a sense of satisfaction that you're helping people?

Conflict you because you think you ought to be an example of someone who has already healed?

Do you sometimes feel helpless to help?

Does it help or is it difficult in any other way?

Many thanks :)

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This is my own personal view on being a mod here (hope chat mods can reply!) I really do enjoy it! Perhaps being a chat mod we have a more direct contact with the members here - which for the most part is something that helps me a lot. However there are times when I have to deal with problems that come up in chat - unfortunately for the most part part - if you are not someone I would normally pm then if you recieve a pm from me then it is because there has been an issue concening you in chat - I hope that I alway contact people in a kind and supportive way = even if it is to say you are in trouble.

Also being a mod it is often an honor to have people contact me reguarding all sorts of other issues -I know I tend to be logged onto the site form dawn to dusk - but I am not here all those hours!! But I guess people see me around and write to me - and I am honored when people do.

On the down side - there have been times when I have been deeply hurt by members here who have taken offense to my having to write to them - I have been accused of being on a 'power trip' of having 'favorites' and of not having a clue as to what I am talking about - I have also been publically attacked on the message board because someone has not liked a descision I have made. This does hurt! I would never post that such and such a person has been issued a warning because of .... that happened in chat - it is done privatly to safe guard the persons privacy - I think some times members do not always give us the same curtesy.

There have been moments when I have thought - why am I doing this! but they are rare -

best wishes

karen

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These are some interesting questions you've got there :)

Does it help your healing?

Certainly, when I think about what makes me tick, and what turns me on, it's the satisfaction I get from helping Newbie members become apart of this wonderful community.

Give you a sense of satisfaction that you're helping people?

It does, especially when I get PM's from members saying I've helped them, it really does make me get that warm fuzzy feeling inside, it's a awesome sence of satisfaction.

Conflict you because you think you ought to be an example of someone who has already healed?

To be honest, not really, it's not a requirement to be healed to become a staff member, I know I've still got a long way to go, to be honest, actually it motivates me more to heal so I can focus less on my own healing, and focus more on doing my best to help others in their healing :)

Do you sometimes feel helpless to help?

I think everyone can feel helpless, not just staff members who feel helpful, I've talked to many members here who also feel helpless also, I think when you interact with others who are in very difficult circumstances in their lives, or who are having a very hard time, then we can all feel quite helpless. I think though we all need to manage those helpless feeling and try not to let them consume us, so we can keep a clear head and as a result be as affective as possible in the comforting we give to people. I don't think this is just for staff members but everyone :) But of course like everyone else, I do feel helpless from time to time, but in saying that, I do try and keep obtimisim to that maximum.

Does it help or is it difficult in any other way?

I just love it, for me, wanting to eventually be a psychologist and working towards that (slowly - 8 year double degree - yeah I couldn't help myself had to take the double :P) in my studies, I think the job description of a psychologist is helping people (well that'll be my job description anyways) and the fact that I can already give atleast some help to people here on AS really give me a buzz, it's awesome.

I've got abit of a question for you, I was just wondering why you're interest? I certainly don't have a problem with you asking, quiet the opposite actually, I'm glad you asked :), I'm actually just curious :lol: or maybe you where just curious?

John :flowers:

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Hi Blossums

An excellent post.

TO ALL MODS

When I first found AS my mind was on how do I work this computer, what are the rules, what do I post and where, will I cope with reading and responding to others, will I be triggered. I am ashamed to say I never gave the mods a thought.

But as I start to heal [here anyway - perhaps not in the real world yet] I have come to appreciate what all you mods do.

This site wouldn't work without survivors [and secondary survivors] posting. Their support and love is an important part of this site and I have said thank you many times and had thank yous said to me. But none of that would be possible without the mods work. They help me to feel safe and it gives me a chance to explore my thoughts and feelings. If I didn't feel safe I wouldn't be able to stay here and I know if I ever felt threatened I could speak to a mod about it. By keeping this site operational it gives me the chance that one day I may heal. Mentally I have said thank you but I have been very lazy by not posting it. So I take this opportunity to say THANK YOU VERY MUCH to ALL MODS for their tireless work, positive attitudes and sheer determination in keeping this site going.

:clap::clap::bighug::bighug::bighug::clap::clap:

Bayler

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It is a good post and it is soemthing I have been thinking about a lot too. My reason is that I do support quite a few new people and would love at some point to be a newbie support member. I guess I do like helping people and I am really interested in what others have to say. Alos I was so terrified coming here, felt so raw and exposed and scared that if I hadn't received help from you John and others I would have run for the hills for sure.

come on the rest of you mods etc. Now is a good time to have your say.

XXX

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Thanks for this thread, blossums. Now, on to your inquiry.

Does it help your healing?

In a lot of ways, I think it challenged me to get out of my stagnant comfort zone. Less than four months after I was promoted, I was offended twice. I chose not to post about those events because I was worried about how it would impact members here. I understood that by offering myself into the limelight of being a Moderator, I was opening up my actions to interpretation and scrutiny. I had to think very hard about what that meant, and I decided in order to contribute to being an active Mod, I needed to start being an active survivor. By making that decision, it jarred me out of the paralysis that had come to define me. I wouldn't say I'm recovered, but I'm further along in my healing than I was when I first joined.

Give you a sense of satisfaction that you're helping people?

Absolutely. It's amazing the perspective we can be granted about other people, once we're on the outside of situations. There are a number of people here who have told me they have benefitted from my decisions and my presence. Although it is difficult for me to believe (because I am my own biggest critic) I am learning to accept I can have a positive influence on others.

Conflict you because you think you ought to be an example of someone who has already healed?

I think all the Mods have experienced this at one point or another. Sometimes, at least for me, I hesitate to post about when I'm having a rough time because there are some ideas here that the secret of healing is something we Mods have uncovered. But the truth is, there is no overnight cure. We heal at our own paces and healing looks different to every survivor. But I cannot come here and demand honesty when I keep myself restrained.

Do you sometimes feel helpless to help?

Yes. There is only so much we can do for each other.

Does it help or is it difficult in any other way?

It can be very difficult when angry members argue against the rules that are in place for their protection, or launch into an offensive diatribe criticizing us personally. The greatest insult I have ever had to deal with here is being compared to peoples' abusers while trying to enforce the rules, and it's an accusation each of us Mods has been hit with at one time or another. It's a smack in the face of all the time and energy we put into running and maintaining this place. We expect for people to be misunderstood, for disagreements to happen. We never anticipate the verbal backlash we've received.

At the end of the day, we do make mistakes. We're not perfect human beings, let alone perfect survivors, and I think in their anger, members tend to forget that. We have our own stories and struggles to deal with too. And yet despite it, we still keep coming back, because this place and what it stands for are THAT important.

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Aww, this is a wonderful post, blossums...thank you for this. ;) What a nice way to get to know the AS Team!

Does it help your healing?

On some levels, it does.

I would have to say though, that just being a member of AS has helped in many ways - I was not in therapy upon my joining almost two years ago, and after being here for several months, I was inspired to give it a try. Now I am proud to say that I am in therapy for almost exactly one year. :)

I absolutely love being a chat moderator, though. I learn so much about others, about their means of coping and sometimes gain some ideas on how I can deal with some of my own issues. We all deal differently, and I definitely feel that being a member here as well as a mod, has given me great wealth in the healing department.

Give you a sense of satisfaction that you're helping people?

I can't say for sure whether or not I have helped someone. This, is of course, a matter of opinion. :) On the rare occasion that I do hear from someone that I've spoken to in our chat room, it does give me a wonderful feeling. Sometimes I am thanked, sometimes updated on their progress. It is truly rewarding to see someone has made strides within their own healing journey and I appreciate their taking the time to let me know about it.

Conflict you because you think you ought to be an example of someone who has already healed?

Well, I will say right here and now; I am in the very same boat as most of the members here. I have only begun my healing process. I am no better or worse than anyone else - and I am in no way a "trained" counselor. I am just someone who is trying to figure things out for myself and yes, sometimes it bothers me when others are of the impression that I am "healed." It is a long and grueling process and I am still very much on that road. I guess it helps sometimes to supply some of my own findings as far as coping matters go - not only does this help ME, by talking about it, but it may also help others to see that I am more so a peer than anything else.

Do you sometimes feel helpless to help?

Yes, sometimes there will be absolutely nothing I can do other than to listen, offer kind words and a virtual hug. It is sometimes stressful in the chat room when someone will come in and the demand for support is greater than the supply given. Ultimately, it is up to us as individuals to make our own choices and to help ourselves, regardless of whatever advice is dispensed and I always try to keep this in mind when I feel helpless.

Does it help or is it difficult in any other way?

It is always difficult to see just how many (and still not ALL!) people are in pain; the numbers are great. I wouldn't say this entirely helps, but it is somewhat of a comfort to know that I am not alone in how I feel, how I deal with things. It is soothing to know that I am not weird nor strange for what I feel, how I behave or react.

Thank you for this, it was a lovely idea.

Capulet

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Hi all,

Thanks alot for your replies :) Is really great to get an insight as to what it's like doing what you do

Not really sure what prompted me to ask - but the last few weeks I guess I've been thinking that I'd like to get into something where I'm helping others - not necessarily now but sometime. I started volunteering at a women's center a while ago and found it too much - I didn't feel at all supported and didn't really feel they were all that supportive to the women they were supposed to be helping either. But I am SURE there are places that ARE great and for me this is one of them :)

And so I suppose anytime I come across something where people are helping others it makes me curious what it's like for them so I just aksed :D Glad i did, and will be happy to read anyone else's post on this. xx

Thanx

:)

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This is a good topic. I'm happy to share this.

Does it help your healing?

I think it has helped with my healing. It has given me an inside look at the struggles people have and I can understand what they are facing. Just being a member has been an awesome experience for me. When I first joined, the board was very small (less than 100 members) compared to what it is today. I've seen a lot of people come by here and all of them are at different stages of healing. I've learned so much from them and it gives me hope when someone returns and gives an update on how they are doing. For years I thought I was alone in my struggles, but here I am, part of an amazing group of survivors.

Give you a sense of satisfaction that you're helping people?

There is a sense of satisfaction for me. Sometimes it's the little things that people ask me to do that make me feel good. It could be removing a post because a member feels too vulnerable to leave their words on the board or someone asking me to review their post before they put it up. I'm happy to help anyone whenever asked. :flowers:

Conflict you because you think you ought to be an example of someone who has already healed?

I have to admit that I there are times when I do hesitate to post on the board because I feel like I'm expected to have this all figured out. There have been instances where I have written out a post and then deleted it rather than posting it. I've been working on this because I understand some people think there is a divide between mods and members just based on the number of posts we make and how visible we are on the board. It has been a good nudge for me and goes to show that communication between everyone can only benefit the members of the board. :tealribbon:

Do you sometimes feel helpless to help?

There are definitely times when I feel like this. It has taken me awhile to come to the realization that we really can only do so much. It is really hard for me to see someone in so much pain and the best thing I can do for them is to encourage them to call for professional help. During these times I need to also think of the well-being of the board as a whole and sometimes make decisions that may not be popular amongst other members.

Does it help or is it difficult in any other way?

The biggest difficulty I have had has been when the occasional member compares me to their abuser when I have made a decision they do not like. I have to say that hearing that really hurts. Having said that, there are many more instances where I have been thanked for helping. Offering to others what I have learned along the way makes me feel like I'm not alone. That's what this place is all about. :flowers:

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When I first joined, the board was very small (less than 100 members) compared to what it is today.

Wow Kelly you've been here for so long, it must be amazing seeing the board "grow up" in a sense, even since I've joined it's grown so much, but since you've joined the transformation must be amazing! :flowers:

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I've just re-read this as I was searching for another post I made, and it made me feel very grateful for AS :throb:

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