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First Timer : )


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Hi hi everyone. So this is my first time on a forum, actually any kind of forum, so bear with me : )

I'm 28 years old and was sexually abused by my older cousin, Graham (Who is 4 years older then me), from when I was 8 to 13. At the time I was not aware, but he also abused my sister around the same time-frame (She is 2 years older than me), as well as his older brother was also abusing my sister. I only found this out approx 6 years ago.

Approx 7 years ago, thru the encouragement of a close friend, I started therapy to start to try and deal with everything. I did 2 years on counselling and moved, started a new job and felt much stronger. I had dealt with certain aspects of the abuse, realised it wasn't my fault and that I still had a long way to go to feeling normal (Or whatever normal is).

2 1/2 years ago I started more counselling and it was very intense. I have come out of it so much better, not 100% as I still have body issues but that relates back to my being overweight. I spoke to my parents about what happened (And found out my mother was abused as a child) and also to my cousin and his wife. It was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. I did both on the 1 day - I don't suggest you do that : )

Thru all of this, I have supported my sister thru her own journey process. She has only just began to deal with everything. Our parents know about what happened to her (Through me) but she isn't ready to talk to them just yet.

Earlier this year I quit my job and moved to London. I wanted to make something of my life and felt so empowered by what I did last year and knew that the time was right to stop blaming things from my past for the kind of life that I have now and to go and start living.

My friends and family have been wonderful and so understanding and I love them all so much for it.

I still have a long way to go. I have never had a relationship with a man before, wouldn't know where to start! Technically, I am still a virgin. Whilst I was abused and my cousin did sexual acts on me, there was never full sex. For this I am thankful as it means I still have something pure to hold onto. I have days where I get down and sometimes I can't pull myself out of them, but I just have to remember how far I have come and what I have done and achieved. Sometimes easier said than done, but by watching my sister start her healing process, I can re-visit my own start in my journey, which helps remind me of just how far I have come.

I joined this forum to learn of other's journey's and to possibly find ways to take the next step of my own journey.

Thanks for listening : )

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Hi Nita,

My name is Lynn, and I am a member of the New Member Support Team. I just wanted to take the time to say welcome to After Silence. Thank you for sharing a bit of your story. It was very inspiring.

I am glad that you have joined with us and look forward to getting to know you. If you need anything or have questions about the boards or how something works, please send me a personal message. I will gladly help in any way possible...also if you need someone to listen, let me know.

Take care,

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Welcome to AS. :)

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