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I wanted to introduce myself here first, I'm 32, and finally ready to talk about whats happened to me and get support from some others who may understand. I was abused by my stepfather for years, and was raped this past summer by a person I had never met. I have PTSD, OCD, bulimia, and anxiety/panic disorder that seems to have come back with a vengeance since then..I pretend to be ok, strong, and "healed" but I'm far from it. In fact, I don't think I've dealt with these things properly at all.

Was anyone else this scared when they first wrote on here? i can't understand why but I'm crying my eyes out.

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Hi Michelle! Welcome to AS! Sorry for the circumstances that led you hear, but hope you find healing and support here. I can't say I was very scared to share the first time. I was just typing into the computer my thoughts. I guess I didn't think about how others might respond. Be gentle with yourself!!!

Shelli

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Hey there michelle, my name is Jeremy. If you read the message titled "Please Read, An Apology" than you can read my story and why I am on here as a guy who has never gone through that, but I do understand. I think it is so hard for anyone to let out their feelings, no matter if its been 5 days or 50 years its gunnu hurt you bringing up the memories and just thinking about letting anyone in to your heart. You are gunnu have trust issues and its hard to let anyone know what happened because they could betray you the same way you have been betrayed in the past. Its ok to cry, it really is, cry all you want, but learn from it. What you have to understand is that it was nothing you did, you should not feel discusted about who you are as a person or about your body because its not even close to your fault. Another thing is that I dont think you will ever forget what happened, but it will get easier to think about. I cant imagine what you are going through, but my girlfriend went through something similar so I can try to help you in the best way possible. Every day is a new day, try to start the day off with a smile, look at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself that it is getting better because it is and it will, slowly. Im here if you ever want to talk

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Welcome to AS. :)

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Hi,

My name is Lynn, and I am a member of the New Member Support Team. I just wanted to take the time to say welcome to After Silence.

I am glad that you have joined with us and look forward to getting to know you. If you need anything or have questions about the boards or how something works, please send me a personal message. I will gladly help in any way possible...also if you need someone to listen, let me know.

Take care,

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Hi Michelle,

welcome to As. I am here because my 2 sons were sexually assaulted last year by my daughter's best friends step brother(13).

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Hi michelle77

Welcome to AS. I was scared when I posted for the first time. My hands were shaking so much I did a double-post. We are always here to listen and support. Welcome friend.

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I wanted to introduce myself here first, I'm 32, and finally ready to talk about whats happened to me and get support from some others who may understand. I was abused by my stepfather for years, and was raped this past summer by a person I had never met. I have PTSD, OCD, bulimia, and anxiety/panic disorder that seems to have come back with a vengeance since then..I pretend to be ok, strong, and "healed" but I'm far from it. In fact, I don't think I've dealt with these things properly at all.

Was anyone else this scared when they first wrote on here? i can't understand why but I'm crying my eyes out.

Hi Michelle, My name is Victoria and I just signed up today. Your post was the first one I read and I have to say I was relieved to see that I wasnt alone although its horrible that we have this in common. I was also abused by my step dad and I never told anyone until years later when I was 16. I told my mother but she chose him over me and I havent spoken to her for years. I moved to the other side of the country and since then things have gotten pretty scary. I feel alone alot because I have no family. My ptsd and panic disorder kicked in. Some days are better than others but I feel fearful most of the time. Ive been told that because I ran for so long when things finally settled down and the abuse stopped, my mind felt safe in trying to deal with all the years of trauma. I was also raped when I moved to Maine and I had a very abusive ex. No one has ever really addressed my issue. Growing up I was always told that during hard times we should talk about them. but rather bury them under hours of prayer and Bible reading. I feel like my abuse has not made me a better person but rather has damaged me mentally and emotionally. I dont think people are supposed to be tortured and thats why it messes us up. I wish there was a way to put an end to all forms of sexual abuse, but it kills me knowing that so many young girls and women never speak up because of fear. Thats what I did. I never spoke up until it was too late. But I was scared and now I regret letting my fear of my step dad keep me quiet for so long. Anyways, I am sorry for the long post. I just wanted you to know that your not alone. Honestly I joined here because I dont know what els to do. I feel hopeless a lot of the time.

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Welcome to AS :flowers:

Paulie

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*hugs* We're glad you're here. I'm sorry for the reasons you're here though.

This group is so nice, I wouldn't worry about it too much.

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Hello and welcome.

Yes, quite scared but the people here are very friendly and understanding.

I understand what you mean by acting strong and "healed". You are not alone and I hope this site can help you.

Edited by Bee

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welcome to AS. Good to have you with us. And yes I was terrified the first time I posted.

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