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Please Read, An Apology


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Hello everyone.....my name is Jeremy, I'm 19 years old. I have not ever done anything like that to a woman just so everyone knows, I am on here because my girlfriend was raped when she was 15 and a virgin...its been 3 years and it is still haunting. The guy got away with it, when she told me about it I almost started crying. I felt so many things, anger was the worst, my eyes were watering, i was shaking, i hit a brick wall multiple times when she left, my knuckles still hurt. Often even today I dont know what to feel, everything is just so mixed up. My point to this was that it has made me think alot. If I, a guy that wasnt around when it happened and am just hearing about it years later, feel so strongly and so torn up over it how must all of you, the victims feel? This is an apology.....I dont blame any of you if you hate guys, I do too. For all of you that it has happened to I hope you find peace, I hope you find someone who will understand you and want to be there for you through everything. My girlfriend has some trust issues because of that....but its ok....im willing to earn her trust because even though I havnt known her very long she has a great heart and is beautiful in every way....so to all of you out there please hang in there. DO NOT feel like you are discusting or your bodies are ruined and ugly, you will all find someone who will be there for you just beleive in it. I might not be the best at it but Im here to talk if anyone needs it or wants to talk. :flowers:

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Thank you for your post Jeremy and welcome. I am sorry for the feelings you have and for all that your gf has been through. It is hearterning to hear there are some good guys around.

Look forward to reading more of your posts.

XXX

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Hi MysteryBounty

Welcome to AS. I am sorry to hear about your girlfriend and what she went through and the pain it must cause both of you. I hope this site helps you as your post has already helped me. It is comforting to know there are some men out there that are so supportive.

Bayler

Edited by bayler
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Thanks for the replies guys, I am hoping to find some comfort star, i think ill stay angry for awhile but helping her is priority number one. I am trying to be the best guy I can be for her....no matter how much pain I endure physically it can never equal what you guys have been through emotionally or physically...noone should have to go through that.

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Welcome to AS.

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Hi,

My name is Lynn, and I am a member of the New Member Support Team. I just wanted to take the time to say welcome to After Silence.

I am glad that you have joined with us and look forward to getting to know you. If you need anything or have questions about the boards or how something works, please send me a personal message. I will gladly help in any way possible...also if you need someone to listen, let me know.

Take care,

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Thank you for your support.

Its nothing mel...Im not doing anything spectacular or great by trying to help or trying to get help, Im doing whats right, sadly these days people often forget what that is

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She is lucky to have you! Hope you continue to be her rock but also come here for support yourself. :hug:

Thank you very much Broken, I am trying. She has a habbit of trying to put of a huge wall and try to push me away, but its ok because I know that it will take time but I dont care, ive got time to spare. I do want to support her and I want to vent out how im feeling but also I want to try and help others. This member the other day wrote me about going through the same thing and telling her son about it and im trying to help him because he feels alot of what im feeling. I want to help others not just myself because that isnt what this site is about.....thanks again broken

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That was so sweet you made me all teary! why can't all men be like you! I hope you don't mind but I need to give you a hug :hug: just because you are such a nice person! I am happy to see your girlfriend has good support! and I hope you get the supporrt you need here! Thank you! and welcome to AS

Edited by fightergirl
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Hello MysteryBounty,

Welcome to AS. Thank you so much for looking after your girlfriend and caring and for your kind words of support.

Take gentle care of yourself as well. :bighug:

Atlantis

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Thanks everyone, I really apretiate feeling so welcome here.........sometimes it just feels like I want to kill the guy and sometimes I just break down. Most guys think that it takes courage to get in a fight, to carry a gun, some guys think your tough if you pick on others, even if you pick on women but thats not courageous.....it takes courage to go through what you guys go through every day, to wakeup and put a smile on even when you dont want to, to keep moving foward when you dont want to move at all, tough is standing up for others like you guys do on this site, and through all the tears and pain you just try to make others feel better without regards to yourself. I am a pretty tough person, but I will never be as tough as all of you.

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I am sorry to both of you. I hadn't ever thought there were guys out there that would actually care. Thank you Jeremy for restoring that hope to me. I hope that you and your girlfriend find peace, and will have happy times together.

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Hi Jeremy;

your words are very kind to us. it's nice to be validated in our strength. we are all equals, no matter what we have been through. you will find you need a lot of inner strength yourself to continue supporting your gf. as a secondary as well as survivor, i can tell you it is no easy road being with one of us. so hats off to you and your strength as well. remember to not dismiss your own needs along the way, for emotional support, intimacy, friendship, all of the things we all need as human beans.

:flowers:

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Hi Jeremy;

your words are very kind to us. it's nice to be validated in our strength. we are all equals, no matter what we have been through. you will find you need a lot of inner strength yourself to continue supporting your gf. as a secondary as well as survivor, i can tell you it is no easy road being with one of us. so hats off to you and your strength as well. remember to not dismiss your own needs along the way, for emotional support, intimacy, friendship, all of the things we all need as human beans.

:flowers:

Thank you seckun...easy road or not I dont care, when you care about someone so much you will do anything for them, if that means I shed a few tears thats fine, but along the way I want to help lift some of the weight off her shoulders. I know I have needs to, but to me hers are more important.....i put her before me, because thats where she deserves to be. And thank you Earth, there are a few guys that care....but guys are guys so its ok to keep a guard up, its good if you do because the last thing in the world you need is to get hurt again, that goes for any of you. Take care of yourselves above all

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Thank you so much for your support it means alot.. Welcome to AS :flowers:

Paulie

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Thanks everyone, I really apretiate feeling so welcome here.........sometimes it just feels like I want to kill the guy and sometimes I just break down. Most guys think that it takes courage to get in a fight, to carry a gun, some guys think your tough if you pick on others, even if you pick on women but thats not courageous.....it takes courage to go through what you guys go through every day, to wakeup and put a smile on even when you dont want to, to keep moving foward when you dont want to move at all, tough is standing up for others like you guys do on this site, and through all the tears and pain you just try to make others feel better without regards to yourself. I am a pretty tough person, but I will never be as tough as all of you.

Thank you that is beautiful

It also takes courage to go through it with us.

:flowers: :flowers:

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Wow, what a guy. :up:

I'm so sorry for what she went through. She's so lucky to have someone as understanding and caring as you.

I know I feel like I can't get close or open up to anyone b/c I'm afraid of what they'll think of me. At the same I hate feeling so alone and am afraid this is how it will always be.

She must feel comfortable enough with you to have opened up to you in the first place. As long as you remain supportive and understanding that trust can be maintained. It's so great that you can just be there for her.

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thank you so much for your post. I was tearing up as I read it. I myself wish my husband of 15 years had some inclination of what I feel because of these things. I applaude your thoughtfulness toward your gf and all of us as a whole. I don't know what your intimacy is like with your gf but I always just needed space when I asked for it. I know for my husband he has a hard time because he takes it's as a personal attack which only aggrivates my issues. So thank you again for your post and best wishes to you and your gf. She's definitely not alone in her pain.

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