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First Time Here


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Hi, well this is my first time visiting this site. I'm a 23 year old married mother of a little girl, 13 months now. I have struggled with severe depression for 9 years now. I have been working with a counsellor for a few months now, and things are getting a little easier to talk about.....but I don't think it will ever be easy. When I Was 17 I was raped by a 32 year old man. I didn't really think it was rape for the longest time because I didn't scream, didn't fight. I froze, I was just paralyzed with fear. I had been saving myself for marriage, but somehow i got myself into this situation. He knew I didn't want it....I cried, I tried to get away, but I was just too scared to fight. Anyways, I just always thought that you had to say 'NO' for it to be a rape. I'm learning now that sometimes, actions speak louder than words.

I'm here to help with my healing....and if at anytime someone wants to talk with me about thier healing, I'll be here to listen.

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Guest hurtingforever

Welcome to After Silence sweetie. I am so sorry that you had to experience what you did. I too find that actions speak louder than words. I too was saving myself for marriage, but that dream won't come true. I am here if you ever need an ear. PM, AIM, MSN, and yahoo.

Hope you find AS as helpful as I do.

:hug::hug::hug::hug:

Lindsay

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Hiya I'm new here to and have found this site extremely useful so I'm sure you will to. Sorry you have to be here but think you are very brave for sharing your story. I haven't been able to yet but I hope like you I will be able to eventually.

Luv Jess xx :hug:

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:) Welcome to AS

So sorry for what happened to you, This is a good place to come for healing. Post at your own speed, people here are very understanding. Hope we can help with your healing. :wub::greet::hug:

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Welcome to AS!

I'm sory for what happened to you, but I'm glad you're coming to realize what it truly was. I had the same problem, I was 16, also saving myself, and I couldn't fight, I froze. I tried everything, but I couldn't fight. For a while I blamed myself for not doing anything, for not screaming, for not beating the sh*t out of him. It took a while for me to admit to myself what had happened. There are still times when I feel unsure and insecure, still moments when I blame myself and minimize the whole thing. But I'm rambling...

I guess what I really meant to say was that I understand. And I'm here if you ever need someone to talk to. Welcome to the boards, I hope you find what you were looking for!

:hug::wub::hug:

~*Tori*~

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Hey sweetie, welcome to the board.

I'm really sorry for what you had to go through, I can really relate and understand because the same thing happened to me with my exboyfriend and I just froze too. For the longest time I never thought it was rape and i suffered because i blamed myself. Finally I realized what happened and it was easier to deal with because i know it wasn't my fault. What happened to you wasn't your fault either. If you ever need an ear to listen, look me up.

:hug:

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I just wanted to thank everyone for replying. I really appreciate it. I have a question to ask, and I don't want to sound dumb or have people think I'm just making this all up. Did anyone find that thier assault or abuse resulted in them in turn becoming promiscuis? (spelling?).

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(((((hugs))))))

Did anyone find that thier assault or abuse resulted in them in turn becoming promiscuis?

To answer your question from my own perspective, it did. :blush: As much as it sickens me to answer that so directly I can relateand wanted to be sure I let you know that.

((((((safe hugs))))))

Donna =)

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welcome hugs :hug: :hug: :hug:

~charlene~

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After I grew up being raped by my stepfather I found that I drifted from relationship to relationship which ended up resulting in two children so I can relate. I'm now married to a wonderful man who has adopted my youngest and is wonderful to my oldest and while I love both of my children I wish I would have had them both with my husband. I never thought of myself as promiscuis back then, I just thought I was in love all the time but now I see how things really were. I'm glad you found this site, I've found a lot of support here and I hope you do too. :hug:

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