Okay, So Here Goes...

[MissDissociated]

...Hi, I've never approached this subject before because I don't want to believe it is true.

I have had images in my head of abuse all of my life and have problems with dissociation.

I'm scared of treating it as if it did happen in case it didn't but all the symptoms are

there. I get the most terrifying dreams where I scream out for help and sometimes hit my husband. I've tried placing the images with real events but have noone around me who will confirm, although plenty who will deny. Mum says I read too many books.

I am starting a therapeutic community in a few months where I will need to address

this if I am ever going to move on with my life and hoped I could make a start here. I've held onto this secret for so very long but I'm scared of talking about it. I'm worried about false memory and whether I just have a need to be part of this 'club'. It feels so horrible to even consider. I feel ashamed to even have this message board on my screen. I don't know what to do with it because pushing it away isn't working anymore.

I feel like I shouldn't have posted this - I'm shaking right now and it's taking alot of effort not to delete, i've already edited about three times. I guess being scared sums it up really.

Edited January 26, 2009 by MissDissociated

[dodo]

Hi and welcome to AS

I am glad that you finally felt able to post - I hope that you find the support and validation here tht you need

best wishes

karen

[whimsical1]

and welcome to AS! You can post a topic, edit, delete, and enter it again if you'd like. That's what it's all about here, so no worries.

[aperson]

Welcome to AS

[prezioso]

Welcome to AS!!

[azazo]

Hi miss!! I am glad you posted and are doing your best to keep it up. (LOL) Chances are your memories are real, but you have to look deep inside yourself and listen to your instincts. It is ok to just post what you are dreaming or what you remember or you can read and discover that there are many other people who think and feel the same things as you.

Take your time, post as little or as much as you want, we aren't going anywhere.

HUGS

[angelic]

[sisterinsurvival]

Hi,

My name is Lynn, and I am a member of the New Member Support Team. I just wanted to take the time to say welcome to After Silence.

I am glad that you have joined with us and look forward to getting to know you. If you need anything or have questions about the boards or how something works, please send me a personal message. I will gladly help in any way possible...also if you need someone to listen, let me know.

Take care,

[Hellion]

I'm glad you found us. I can't say I would know what to do in your situation, but I have met several others on here who have had similar experiences. Sometimes after they told there "dreams" or "stories" a few times, something clicked in their brain and they were able to remember what actually happened. That is probably a really scary thought, but at the same time, at least you will be able to recognize what happened to you and be able to find support and heal. Take your time and share your thoughts when you are ready. Welcome!

[Survivors sanctuary]

Welcome to the board ...

[MissDissociated]

Thank you everyone for your welcome.

I don't really know how to put this stuff into words but I guess joining the group is a start.

[angel123]

and welcome to AS

Lol Sharon

[silenced42long]

Hi and Welcome to AS!!