Why Does It Feel So Wrong?

[Tmcqcody]

Okay so I already posted in here once. Why does it feel so wrong? I am wondering if anyone else has felt like that when they first came here? Funny thing is a song that comes to mind by Dolly Parton...It's all Wrong...but it's alright....thats part of the song and thats what i am telling myself.

[ShoePanda]

I'm not sure I follow. What feels wrong to you?

[Tmcqcody]

I'm not sure I follow. What feels wrong to you?

I am sorry if I am not making sense. Being vocal about it to strangers. I do not talk about it in my real (offline) life. The reason...I did finally tell....I got the typical line....IF it did happen why didn't you tell. So it was never spoken of after that. I suppressed memories for a very long time. Had a "traumatic" event occur in October which has rattled alot lose in my head. I have been so occupied until now with surgeries and doctors visits and was able to hold off. That has stirred up alot of things. Now I am forced to deal with things. So I found this site and told myself I CAN do this. I guess I am just second guessing myself. I guess alot of it also goes along with my trust issues. I hope that makes sense to you. I am not very good with expressing myself. Sorry for not making sense!

[azazo]

oh do I know what you mean, IF...why didn't YOU.... same crap, hon, those people are why we are here together, so in that respect, I guess i am grateful, but they are wrong. it is right to talk about it. It's not our fault if our abuse makes them uncomfortable.(someone else here said that and it is soooooo true)

No more second guessing hon, I think that you will soon see that this is a great place, really!! No judgment or shame or blame, just validation and compassion and people who totally get it.

don't worry about making sense to others either(unless you want some answers) it is important to vent and rage if that is what you feel like doing. everything in your above post tho, makes total sense.

Welcome to the family!!

[OnAhead]

I understand why it feels a little weird. It struck me as strange at first that I'd be trusting my deepest feelings to people I'd never met...over the computer. Sometimes I think the anonimity (sp?) actually help me be honest. I think you'll find that people here are genuinely honest and caring. And no one here will question your intentions. Welcome to AS!

-Jenna

[ShoePanda]

You express yourself just fine, I just needed a little clarification. ;) I dunno, I started doing message boards when I was 16, so putting myself out in a place like this is not new to me, but I did come in with a lot of faith, because if I'd been rejected by the people here I don't know what it would have done to me.

It probably feels wrong because you had no validation when you tried to tell the people in your life. You will not experience that here. Hopefully we can help you stand up to people who tell you you should have done things a certain way, or felt this way, or said that. Then you can educate them, because people only say such things out of ignorance and lack of understanding and experience with such matters. These issues are highly complex, it takes years for even those of us who experienced the events firsthand to figure out what exactly happened.

[lotsaRage]

yep, i really get what your saying..takes time, just post on 'light' topics for a minute.

[Tmcqcody]

yep, i really get what your saying..takes time, just post on 'light' topics for a minute.

It is nice to feel so welcomed. Feeling like I belong

[Maddie50]

I get what you are saying. I found it both a little wierd and a huge relief at last to be able to talk about stuff I had kept silent about for so many years.

I hope you find this a safe and supportive place to be. Welcome

XXX

[Hellion]

I know exactly how you feel. I have never really been able to vocalize my story to others because when I have, they have done the whole "why didn't you tell anyone" line as well. I kept quiet for so long--the pain was eating away at everything. I felt trapped.

I think being able to come online and share my experience with complete strangers who understand everything I've been through has been so incredibly theraputic. No one is here to judge, just help eachother out. We've all been in the same boat and we've all had the same rejection. Plus, sometimes just reading others stories and feelings over and over helps you to get your own frustrations out, without fear of being noticed and judged.

We are all here for you. Don't ever be afraid to speak out. Those who have a problem with it can go jump off a cliff. ;)

[Survivors sanctuary]

Welcome to the board ...