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5 Words To Your Perpetrator


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  • 2 weeks later...

You did this to me!

Why did you pick me?

Why didn't you kill me?

Wish you would've killed me!

Why again? Wasn't once enough?

I will never forgive you!

You drugged a disabled woman!

Do you feel like a man?

The first time crushed me.

The second time destroyed me.

I am sorry I couldn't pick one of these 5 words so I wrote them all.

The worst part is when he found me 16 years later I couldn't say any of these, I couldn't do anything, I froze, I did what ever he said to do. I hate myself. My C says I survived he had a gun I did what I had to do to survive. I just feel like a failure, I didn't fight back I didn't stop it.

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 Trigger Warning:hammer:                             

If I could say five words to my abusers, 

You two didn't win!

You will both live to regret this. (I know more than five words)

I don't hate you both,  

I don't hold the years against you two.

I have more healing to do.

Hate of you both is not conducive to my healing.

It is not about what you deserve, but what I want. 

I don't want to meet your children.   

I don't consider you my brothers.

Stop referring to me as your sister.

I am not the aunt to your children.

I have a fantastic extended family and neither of you are in it.

You both have stolen a lot from me. 

I can't look at my own pictures.

I don't like to be touched.

I found what paranoia is like.

I got your parting gift, PTSD.

I am not a sl*t, w**re or bit*h. 

I am free of both of you.

 

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You deserve to suffer forever.

You are a miserable human.

You are foul and disgusting.

You have ruined my worth

You chose the wrong victim

I hope you enjoy prison

Don't drop the soap, asshole.

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I was thinking for quite some while after I first read this thread what would tell you my abuser. After reflecting on it there really only one think I would say to him if I ever confront him.

Why did you do it?

An explanation is really the only think I want from him anymore. I would like to know what went through his head that made him think sexually abusing a child is a good idea. I somehow doubt though I will ever get a satisfying explanation for my question.

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