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How Do You Start Speaking


ruth37

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Hi,

New to this so probably sound a little stupid- anyhow how did you all start speakng about what happened- how do you stop being scared someone is going to find out that you have spoken? This probaly sound a little silly but it really worries me.

Just not in a great place i guess.

Hope you are all having a good day btw

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hi ruth, welcome to As. :wave:

i can totally relate to what you are experiencing .... one of the hardest things for me in terms of speaking was letting go of the fear that he would come find me ... sorry i don't have better advice, but i can relate!

take care,

sef

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Thankyou for your reply- hav you ever got rid of those thoughts though- do you still think h will come after you. Even when i am in a room with a a double lock i keep thinking he will turn up, it is difficult to get your whole life wiped from your mind.

Thankyou anyway

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Ruth37,

:aswelcomesu:

I am really sorry for the things that brought you here but I am glad that you found your way to AS. Take your time and look around; I am sure that you will be feeling comfortable and at home in no time. There are a lot of great people here who will offer you the support and encouragement you are looking for and deserve. I look forward to seeing you around the board.

:hug::tealribbon::hug::tealribbon::hug::tealribbon::hug::tealribbon::hug:

Take good care of yourself, ok?

:notalone::supportu:

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I know exactly what you mean. I have said the "word" out loud twice now. The word that describes exactly how I was raped 15 days ago.

I have told a few friends generally what happened. Now I look around and wonder "who knows" and "what do they know" at times. It doesn't seem fair to be worried about this too.

Unfortunately giving voice to what happened is the only road to recovery. He already took too much from me.

We've all had too much taken from us. Thank you so much for bringing this up and speaking out. You've helped me today.

Jen

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Thankyou all i have taken your advice and manged to say some stuff on this on a different thread- it is so difficult when you dont know how to put things when you are scared of what others might think. It feels crap.

I cant remember so much but it just flashes back and then just seem to fail inside

Anyhow thanks again

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I agree with seven. Sometimes you just have to blurt it out. Have you written anything down?? Maybe that will be easier for you. You don't have to share it with anyone if you don't want to, but if you do, all you have to do is pull up what you have already written and hand it to them, post it here or wherever, or read it. Whatever is best for you.

It doesn't have to make sense either, just describe what you see in your mind and what you feel in your body or soul. I started like this....

Memories...1) it burns when I pee

2) pop is pulling up my pants and I ask him if he did it to grandma, I don't remember an answer.

3)I'm hiding behind the bedroom door, he's looking for me....

Stuff like that. I have made it up to about 11 or 12 memories but I don't have a full picture yet either. I too so desperately want to fill in all the blanks and get the full picture, but I have to be patient.

Anyway, please, don't feel scared or embarrassed about what you say here, trust me, we have seen and heard it all, There is NO judgement either. Nothing is your fault and anything done to you or anything you were forced to do is NOT your fault. You are not sick, or gross or crazy or weird. You are in pain and we are here to help you if we can.

Always listening.

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:hi: and welcome to AS

For me talking here is somewhat easier because no one can actually see me. Talking in person is still very difficult because i dont want people to hate me or see the shame that i feel. but talking here helps because people dont see me and it still gives me a chance to get all of this out. take ur time, the talking will come. when you are ready we will all behere to support you.

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Speaking is hard. I don't have any words right now myself.

But maybe i will tomorrow. One day at a time.

I support you. You are not alone.

:throb::bighug: :bighug: :throb:

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thankyou for all of our adviice. Words are so difficult. thankyou so much for having some beleif it can be done you have all really helped

Here if anyone needs help too.

:flowers:

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Hi Ruth,

My name is Lynn, and I am a member of the New Member Support Team. I just wanted to take the time to say welcome to After Silence. There are still times that I fear the world will discover my secrets and judge me for them. That fear that makes us hide in secret is what allows our past to control us though. It can be hard to overcome...just know that I have been here a long time now, and this has been a safe place to share.

I hope that you find comfort and support here too. I know that I have found the strength to face another day many times through the words and presence of those dear ones who make this site a true "community." I am glad that you have joined with us and look forward to getting to know you. If you need anything or have questions about the boards or how something works, please send me a personal message. I will gladly help in any way possible...also if you need someone to listen, let me know.

Take care,

Your Sister in Survival,

Lynn

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:wave: Ruth, and welcome to AS!

:notalone::youcanheal:

PS. I started saying it out loud to myself, and that's how I started speaking out. I hope you're having a good day, also.

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Ruth,

When I first hopped aboard the Recovery Train, I didn't give in much to anything. I rarely opened my mouth to say anymore than two words to my T, my partner, or anyone else who might be looking for information. Instead, I just sat back and listened. First, I wanted to make certain I was in the right place and I was surrounding myself with people who were going though similar mental and emotional, and even sexual, changes as I. I wanted to be certain, that when I did finally open my mouth to disclose my traumatic past, that I could trust these people enough to be met with supportive attitudes. I was lucky and I found the right place.

Ceratin areas of this lake are shallow, and it may not be a good idea for you to just dive right in. You might want to test the water first, and get your feet wet, before you commit to taking that all-too-important plunge.

I tried to keep a daily journal everyday, and just write down my feelings and if I had any triggers, or just certain reminders of my past. After awhile, I believe it helped to talk about it, because it wasn't so shameful anymore, and I realized, after rereading the entries in my journal, of writings from several weeks prior, I needed help. I needed support and I needed to figure things out. Nobody told me to disclose everything all at once. Just little by little.

I wish you luck, Ruth! Heal well.

Rich

Edited by LifeIsTooLong
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Welcome to AS :flowers: I am sorry for what you are going through I understand how difficult it is, if ever I can do anything or you need to talk feel free to PM me anytime, I am here for you. :hug::hug::hug:

Take Care,

Paulina

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Welcome to AS :flowers: I am sorry for what you are going through I understand how difficult it is, if ever I can do anything or you need to talk feel free to PM me anytime, I am here for you. :hug::hug::hug:

Take Care,

Paulina

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