Dazed

[flea]

so i'm 21... preferably nameless. . . a female. my story, or rather, my nightmare, took place from the time i was 11-14. ive been ok with it, for all these years - then one day a couple of months ago, it kind of all hit me at once. its pulling me under and tearing me down - i feel like im spinning in circles, barely breathing, with no where to run. i dont understand why its affecting me like this... its just sex right? im fighting a hardcore eating disorder now because as long as feel the pain of starvation, the pain of him numbs just a little bit. . .

i accidentally stumbled upon this site last night. i don't know what im hoping to accomplish. . .i just need help before i destroy myself.

Edited October 13, 2008 by flea

[dodo]

Hi and welcome to AS

I am sorry tht you are struggling so much = but I am glad you have found AS - I hope that you find lots of support and friendship to help you.

best wishes

karen

[flea]

thanks... any advice on what i should do...?

[lacrymosa]

Hi flea,

I'm glad you've joined After Silence. I'm sorry to hear that everything is hitting you now, but in a way, it's best to work through it, rather than have it stored away like a time bomb. I can relate to having the past come back to rock my world, as I'm sure many others here can as well.

Take your time, and have a look around the site. You can read and respond to posts made by others, and you can also create your own. Perhaps posting about how you're doing right now, and asking any questions you may have in the Aftermath forum or the Need to Vent forum, if you like.

You can also share your story if you feel comfortable. There are some lighter forums toward the bottom of the site, in the Amusement Alcove. There's no right or wrong way to heal. Basically we all just make it through each day at a time, each hour at a time. Only now you don't have to do it alone. If you have any questions, feel free to message me. I look forward to seeing you around the site.

[tuliptorn]

Welcome to AS.

[Holli]

Welcome to AS! I second the suggestion to read through the forums-- that's what I did when I first come here several months ago, and it helped immensely! I found discussions on so many of the things I was struggling with-- it helped to know I wasn't alone.

I can relate, too, about it hitting so suddenly. I had suppressed what happened to me for many years, and within the space of a week, I was overwhelmed with memories.

Holli

[aperson]

Welcome to AS!!!!

[oui,mais]

hey!!

welcome to AS!!

if ok?

[whimsical1]

Hello Flea, and welcome to AS!

[kimbees324]

flea,

I am so sorry for the things that led you here but I am glad that you found your way to AS. Take your time and look around; I am sure that you will be feeling comfortable and at home in no time. There are so many great people here who will offer you the support and encouragement you are looking for and deserve. I'm sorry you were hurt so badly. I look forward to seeing you around the board.

Take good care of yourself, ok?

[sunshinee]

Sometimes in order to get better- we have to work through the pain. I know this sucks. One thing I think we all have to remember is- it is all temporary. It will pass.

Set aside some goals. Try to move forward by aiming for them. Something like getting through a day could be a goal and award yourself everytime you achieve something=) You deserve to be rewarded!

[angelic]

Hi and welcome to AS

[heartsicksad]

welcome to AS, flea! i hope you find the support here that you need and find what you are looking for

[azazo]

Hi flea. I'm glad you stumbled in here. I'm sorry you had to but I'm glad you did. No, it isn't just sex, not when you are so young and are given no choice. The same thing happened to me, I always remembered and thought it was no big deal, then one day, BOOM! your life caves in on you. I hope you know that you are welcome here to say what you feel and know that you will not be judged. We are here to support you and we DO understand your feelings. Talking helps a lot, so I hope you feel comfortable here. hugs!!

[flea]

i just want to say thanks to all the replies... this has been (another) bad day. . . its crazy how you can be surrounded by countless people and feel so alone. i have been looking through the various forums - i guess im still feeling things out. once again, thanks for all the replies - they've really lifted my spirits.

[silenced42long]

Hi and Welcome to AS!!

[probably]

Hello and welcome to AS

[angel123]

and welcome to AS

Sharon

[littlelost]

and welcome to AS

[coolsrule]

hi and welcome to AS hugs if ok