Jump to content
Sign in to follow this  
bluepaint

Hi, I'm New

Recommended Posts

hi everyone, i'm new to the forum... i think i'll post a short introduction..:

i am 15, and i live in sweden.. i like painting and music and drawing and animals. i am pretty shy, and at times antisocial but i try my best to be social and nice...

i was raped when i was 4, by an unknown man.. though i don't know how many times, i just started remembering when i was 14... so most of my childhood i didn't know.. i was also molested when i was 5..

i've always been the outsider, in school and in the family.. when i was 13 - 14 i started drinking, and taking various pills to be able to go to school, becuz everyone hated me there and i had social phobia.. i started cutting myself when i was 12, but it didn't get serious until i was 14.. i also joined a depression forum when i was 14, which has helped me alot, the people there were the first ones i told about what happend when i was 4..

one day in school i took some pills, someone saw it, and i ran home. they called my mom, we went to talk to a doctor, and the doctor put me in a mental hospital the same day. i spent 5 months locked up, facing addictive medications and beltbeds and 24/7 watching by the personnel.. in the hospital i started having flashbacks, when the personnel held me down to the floor, i guess it was that it was kind of alike to what happend.. so i realised why i felt so dirty and awful and different. i also had my first psychosis in the hospital..

i got out of hospital in february this year, on valentines day o_O

they gave me a bunch of diagnosises, and since aspergers was one of them, i am now in a special school... i like it, there's just 13 people there and i'm not being bullied anymore.

i go to a therapist once a week, but she's away on vacation now. i haven't told her much about the abuse, just that it happend, no details. i am not ready for therapy for it just yet i think... at the moment my life is pretty sad, i cry myself to sleep every night, and every day i worry about getting another psychosis.. i have problems getting close to people. but i've decided not to kill myself, it's too mean. i've tried a few times but i've grown now and i don't want to hurt my family and friends; so i'm not going to do it... my dream is to be an artist, i love music :D

i know this was kinda long, but atleast there's no details.. i probably won't post much in the beginning, first i want to just watch everyone else talk for a while...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

hello there! you can just call me fern :D

im also 15, adn id love to get to know you and maybe talk sometimes on chat.

anyway i just wanted to give a warm welcome!

i hope yuo find all the support you could want here, just as i have, good luck hun

pm me anyti you need.

cya around!

fern

x

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi hon

Welcome here to AS..You are amongst friends and people who understand ..Im glad you found us and glad your here

hugs

graice

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

thanks for the warm welcoming :)

this seems to be a very nice forum!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

hi and welcome to AS! i hope you find the support here that you need!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi bluepaint,

I am sorry for everything that you have been throught when you where little, and the affect that it has had on your life in recent years, I am sorry that your sad at the moment, but I'm glad that you're no longer thinking in a suicidal fashion, :hug: and I'm glad you're not getting bullied in school anymore :bighug:

I'm glad that you have come to our forum site, please know that there are people who are understand and who care about you, this is a very healing place to be and even if you don't post, just have a look around, and when you're feeling up to it, post when you are ready :hug:

Take gentle care, and feel free to PM me anytime :hug:

John

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

:hi: Bluepaint :notalone::aswelcomesu:

You at the right place here amongst friends and I'm so glad that you are still alive and want to live sweetie!...we are all here for you to support you and help you out hun!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

hey, if you want to talk.. ive figured that the more times you tell, it feels better, so.. im open and here in that sense.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Honey, I'm so so sorry for what brought you here to AS. Your story breaks my heart :( Please know that you are a survivor and you should be very proud of that. :hug: Welcome to AS, and I hope that you will find it to be an extremely supportive and safe place.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hello and welcome to AS :luck:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

awww thanks everyone, for being so supportive :D

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest SaraElizabeth

Hello bluepaint

and welcome to AS :)

I'm so sorry that you've been through so much, and I'm sure that you'll find all the support and care you need here with people who understand.

:hug:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi bluepaint and welcome to AS

I'm really sorry about everything that you have been through but I really hope that we will be able to be of help and support to you. You can talk about anything you want to here, so take your time to settle in.

Feel free to PM me if you need anything

take care of yourself

teazle

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Sign in to follow this  

×
×
  • Create New...