Hi..i'm New.

[amberdawn]

Hi there, I'm not sure how it didn't occur to me before, that talking online would be somehow easier than in real life. I went through a 3 years of hell with my boyfriend, and have been out of the relationship for 5 years now. I felt fine somehow, and have been with my current boyfriend ever since. I though that I had some great coping mechanism or something, until Thursday. I was confronted with a situation (basically being put on the spot, and having to explain my grades to a potential thesis supervisor. My grades reflected my inability to leave the house, go to school, or take exams because of my boyfriend at the time)...and suddenly, I got this intense feeling of anxiety in my stomach ever since. I wasn't able to talk to my supervisor, other than to say 'I had a rough time'. and ever since have felt sick to my stomach. Not sure why I was so naive to think I could escape this without really dealing with it, but I honestly felt that I had moved on successfully.

I'm looking for strategies to open up and talk about some of the things that happened over the years... I met with my best friend yesterday, planning to talk to her about it, and I completely froze. Any suggestions on starting this discussion?? Some of the discussion is quite violent and graphic but I have this sudden urge to talk about it- but when the time comes..I can't.

Nice to meet everyone!

[angelic]

Hi and welcome to AS

[Guest SaraElizabeth]

Hi

Welcome to AS

Good luck with your healing

In time I hope you'll start to feel at home here, and as you settle in it might get easier for you to open up and talk here.

You'll see from reading other members posts that there are plenty of people who experience the same emotions and reactions as you, and it might help you knowing that the people here will understand maybe more than people you know in real life who haven't had similar expereiences.

Maybe you could start off by replying to posts you can relate to and that might encourage you to post about your own feelings and experiences.

Either way good luck, and if you need to talk at any point feel free to message me

[sisterinsurvival]

Hi,

My name is Lynn, and I am a member of the New Member Support Team. I just wanted to take the time to say welcome to After Silence.

I can identify with the sudden appearance of anxiety as I experienced the same thing three years ago. It has taken a while to get past it, and honestly at times it still bothers me but not nearly to the levels that it once did. As for finding voice for what you have endured...this will eventually come. You will find words for what you have gone through, and as you do, the burden will begin to lighten. Carrying the secrets of what happened can be a heavy load.

I am glad that you have joined with us and look forward to getting to know you. If you need anything or have questions about the boards or how something works, please send me a personal message. I will gladly help in any way possible...also if you need someone to listen, let me know. I hope that you find comfort and support here.

Take care,

Your Sister in Survival,

Lynn

Edited July 15, 2008 by sisterinsurvival

[lacrymosa]

Hi amberdawn,

I'm glad you've joined After Silence. It sounds like you've just hit the fork in the road, and have chosen to take the path of healing. Congratulations, it's a major victory! I am so sorry for what you've endured. It's pretty normal to try and forget what happened and move on, at first. I don't know a single survivor who didn't go that route initially.

Unfortunately, it doesn't work forever, as you're realizing. I remember being in a similar place, where I needed to talk, but my voice wouldn't cooperate. One thing about AS, is that everyone who reads your words is either a survivor, or someone who is coping with being supportive for a surviving loved one.

You won't have to worry about being judged or misunderstood. We truly understand the feelings and challenges associated with this sort of trauma, and you did a wonderful thing for yourself by joining.

There is a thread set up specifically for survivors to share their story, on their own terms, and in their own time. It's completely optional, and you never have to share anything you're uncomfortable with, but it's there for you, when and if you're ready.

You may also want to consider talking to a therapist, or counselor at your school. I've found that having a professional to guide me, and help me learn how to cope with aftermath, has been very helpful. If you have any questions, or just need someone to talk to, feel free to message me. I look forward to getting to know you. Take care, and welcome!

Edited July 15, 2008 by lacrymosa

[probably]

Hello and welcome to AS

[amberdawn]

Thanks everyone, I really appreciate your kindness towards a complete stranger I don't think I'll ever feel comfortable enough to broadcast the details of what happened to me to the public here. Not sure if I want to even get to a place where I can type it all out, because I worry that would mean reliving the details..I want to be able to tell my best friend that it happened, and I am hoping that will be enough for some relief..and then move on. Thanks again.

[rescuer4him]

hi amber it is always difficult to start out just telling people everything. it has been difficult for me and i didnt even hide it at first. well when im ready to talk about something like that i sit the person down somewhere where i feel comfortable. it takes me a while to think but they are always open to it since i asked them. other times i start off a conversation with just a normal topic and then i work my way to what i truly want to say. if you freeze its ok because to me that just means that you werent ready to tell them. i hope everything is going good!

rebekah

WELCOME TO AS!!!

[amberdawn]

Thanks- I think you are right..I guess I had some notion that I should tell her, but if this 'freeze' comes over me, than it is probably not meant to be...Thanks!

[Graice]

Hi AmberDawn

Welcome to AS hon..Im glad your here and that you found us..We are very caring and supportive

hugs

graice

[amberdawn]

Thanks Graice

[sparkle]

AmberDawn

[angel123]

hun..... welcome to AS..

Angel x

[silenced42long]

Hi and Welcome to AS!