Hey Y'all

[AmanJo]

I'm new here, a friend of a friend gave me the link here. She also had joined.

But My name is Amanda, and I'm 20 years old from Minnesota.

I joined because I am having a really hard time dealing with what happened to me almost a year now.

And this site looks like it could hopefully finally put an end to how I am feeling, and how I deal with things.

[dodo]

Hi and welcome to AS

best wishes

karen

[gnulifeforme]

deleted

Edited July 16, 2008 by gnulifeforme

[lacrymosa]

Hi AmanJo,

I'm glad you've joined After Silence. I'm sorry for what you've had to endure. It can take a lot of time to heal from this sort of trauma, and this is a great place to find support, and people who truly understand. I'm glad you joined with a friend, and hopefully you'll find many more soon.

If you have any questions, or need to talk, please don't hesitate to message me. I'm looking forward to seeing you around the site. Take care, and welcome!

[wishinuponastar]

Hey lady,

I just wanted to say welcome to AS!! Hope you find yourself at home here and hope that you get the support you need and deserve here! Sending lots of welcoming hugs and support!!

With Love,

Wishin

[teazle]

Hiya Amanjo

I'm glad that your friend gave you the link because its good to have you here, and I hope we can be what you need and hope you begin to heal.

Feel free to PM me if you need anything

take care of yourself

teazle

[littlelost]

and welcome to AS

[AmanJo]

Thank you all for the welcomes.

It will take me time to come out and say what happened. I just need to get the help I can get, I can't afford to see a counselor, Nor do I have any insurance. So I'm hoping that this will help me. Because I've got a new boyfriend he's great to me and understands what happened to me. And he's willing to take it slow for me. But I just feel bad for him having to deal with me and how I am right now.

I've stopped with my worst habits.... Drinking and taking Pills, I've stopped with the pills to the point where I'll take them ONLY if I REALLY need them. The Drinking is down to once a month if i'm lucky.

I'm just a paranoid person now, and I need to get over it.

[oui,mais]

hey!!

Welcome to AS!!

if ok?

[Tootsie]

Welcome!!! Hope you find what you need.

[angelic]

Hi and welcome to you and your friend

[lacrymosa]

AmanJo,

Well done on keeping away from unhealthy means of coping. It's okay to need time to feel comfortable about sharing. There is no pressure to share, and it's completely optional. Your level of comfort is what matters.

I hope you can agree with me that this sort of trauma is very difficult to cope with, and "getting over it" is not really an option, although plenty of people tell us we "need to get over it", or "put it behind us", etc.

Nobody will tell you such here. We truly understand, and have many similar feelings and difficulties. Take your time, and get to where you feel comfortable. We want only for you to have a safe place to work on your healing, and friends who understand first hand the challenges of aftermath. You don't have to do this alone, we're here for you.

Message me anytime. I know how scary it is at first, and if there is anything I can do to help you feel safe and comfortable here, let me know.

[aperson]

Hi and welcome!!

[brainysmurf]

Hi AmanJo!

I'm glad you stopped with the drinking and such.

There are free programs for survivors to receive counseling... Please know it is an option.

Welcome to AS

-Smurf

Edited June 26, 2008 by brainysmurf

[raingirl]

Hello and welcome. Glad to see you are here.

Raingirl

[AmanJo]

Thank you again for the welcomes.

I've only stopped the drinking cause I'm finding it hard to find people to buy for me. I'm scared for when I turn 21 in December. Than I'll be legal to buy it, and yeah.. I'm scared for that.

But hopefully by than I'll be over it.

I want to be able to trust again, and not be so paranoid. Be able to live again.

[John]

Hey AmanJo,

AS certainly is a place that can help in your healing, and when used as a support network along with conselloring it really care have wonderful outcomes in your life, so I am very glad that you have joined our little area of cyber space here at AS, please know that this place is a very supportive place to come and be apart of, and please know the people here have had such a postivie impact on my life, and have helped me along my healing so much, and being able to face my demonds, which is what AS is all about, supporting each other through the hard time and hurts, and to move forward and heal from what we have experienced.

So I am very glad that you have come to AS with such a positive outlook and with such a strong intent to heal

I look forward to getting to know you better soon

John

[probably]

Hello and welcome to AS

[AmanJo]

Thank you both.

I think I'm ready to tell what happened to me. Because I'm lost right now, and I don't know what to do. I really need some help.

[lacrymosa]

AmanJo,

Here is the link to a forum where you can share your story.

[lucy1975]

Hi Amanjo

Welcome to AS. Pls take your time and know that we all support you and care about you very much. Please take gentle care

Lucy :bighug:

[silenced42long]

Hi Amanjo,Welcome to AS!!  I hope that you get all of the support that you need here.  I am sorry that you have a reason to be here but I am glad that you have joined us.

[hollygolightly]

Hey

I just wanted to add my welcome to the others! I hope you will feel safe and at home here soon!

Best wishes,

Holly

[AmanJo]

Thank you all for the welcome!

I had re-lived what happened earlier today while I was at work. Turned my phone off and I have it off now. I just don't want to be bothered by people today. I'm like the "dr. Phil" to them, they come to me with all their problems. and right now I can't handle that right now, when I'm fighting for myself to come back.

I hate the job I have, because a lot of the time you just sit there and do nothing. And those are the times when things come back to me and I re-live everything.

[John]

(((((((((((((((((((AmanJo)))))))))))))

I am very sorry that you keep re-living it, flashbacks and body memories are very hard things to go through, and you need to make sure you are ok before you can worry about anyone else

Just try and breathe and live in the moment, try and ground yourself, there is a thing called "mindfulness" which is about just noticing what is happening right now, like focus on your hand, and then think about what you had for breakfast and then back to your hand and focus only on these two thing as much as you can, and do this over and over until you have grounded yourself.

I hope this can help you get through this day

PM me anytime,

John