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haunted

Depressed That I 'qualify' As A New Member

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Hello.....new here.. I already posted my story in the Share your Story forum...I was so eager to get it out. I'm still coming to terms with things in my life and I'm angry that I am on here and a part of all of this. Angry at society and my rapist. Angry that I have to live with this. Angry that I pushed it all away for 10 years and NOW it comes back into my life when I have a family and a great life. Angry at my mom for making me feel like if I ever told her I would get in trouble. I'm just angry.

But i'm thankful for for all of you and for this place and for the anonimity. I'm thankful for the unbiased support and unconditional love this site offers. I'm thankful that I'm a strong enough person to finally come to terms with my life instead of letting it ruin me. I'm thankful I survived.....more like surviving......and I hope that my experience will help my daughter stay safe.

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I'm glad you found AS, but I'm sorry that you have a reason to be here. I have found this to be wonderful, supportive site. I was raped many times by my ex boyfriend. I never even called it rape. But then I got a call from a detective investigating my ex for 2 new rapes. I was victim number 2 of 4. I reported sexual abuse, I didn't even call it rape when I reported it. Now, 16 years after I left him and 10 years after he last tried to contact me, I am really struggling. It was causing me problems all along, but I just couldn't face it. So I know what it's like to deal with the aftermath so much later.

I hope that you find this to be as healing and supportive as I have. Welcome.

:hug::hug::hug:

-Amy :tealribbon:

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Hi Haunted and welcome to AS!! :flowers::luck:

I am sorry for what has brought you here but being here provides some hope as there are many people here who can understand, provide support and let you know that you are not alone.

I can relate to pushing away my feelings and trying to just soldier on with life and ignore it, and when the memories come flooding back it can be very overwhelming and I hope you know that you are not alone with this.

You are a strong person hun. You survived and you are wanting to heal from this and make a better life for yourself and your daughter. You sound like a wonderful and caring mother and I hope that you feel at home here soon.

Take gentle care,

Skye.

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I have to say that was on of the most I guess the word is encouraging post i have read because it was so honest full of anger but also full of gratitude and I am sorry that you or any of us had to find this site but honestly you are right Thank God for a place like this to find support. Good luck to you, and remember that sometimes denial is the way we have to survive until we are ready and strong enough emotionally to face what has happened and you have a right to be angry it is one of the stages to healing and you are healing

:hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug:

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wow.....thank you all so much for the support. you are all wonderful..:)

If only one thing comes out of this, I hope that I can in turn to help someone else with my experience. Thank you for the words of encouragement.

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Hey Haunted and Welcome to AfterSilence :tealribbon:

It is perfectly ok to feel angry, I often myself feel very angry about what happened to me, and the impact that it had on my life, angry about the fact that I am unable to change the past and change what happened, and I feel that you are angry too about that, please know that how you are feeling is a totally natural way of feeling when you have experiened something like we all have, please know that here we do understand your feelings and that they are totally validated here :hug:

We even have a Need to Vent section here on AS, which is apart of this message board that is dedicated to getting out some of that frustraction that you are feeling in a safe environment where people understand how you are feeling. I also want to thankyou for all the lovely comments that you made about AS, I myself think AS is a wonderful website to be apart of, and I just wanted to thankyou for making such nice comments about our online community :flowers:

I am really sorry for what you experience and for what brought you here, however I am glad that you have decided to come here to gain some healing from what you experienced, the healing journey is a long one, but is certainly a worthwhile one, where we can all help each other long that road, which is what this website is all about, and I am glad you have decided to take that journey with us.

Take gentle care :tealribbon:, and feel free to PM me at anytime.

John :flowers:

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Hello and welcome to AS :luck:

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Hi and welcome to AS. We are happy to have you join us. You have taken a big step in coming here and I hope that you find all the support you are looking for. Please know that you are not alone and we are here to talk to. Welcome, and take care...

Abby :aswelcomesu:

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Welcome. I'm new here too. I wish I didn't qualify to be here either...and like you, I am angry. I'm glad I found this place...but wish I found it sooner.

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Welcome...I too wish I had found it sooner.....we're newbies together on this site, so please PM if you want to talk. I wish you the best.

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I'm glad that you have both found this site now :flowers:

If either of you need a help with anything please feel free to PM me or any member of the Newbie Support Team at any time - we love to help :hug:

John :flowers:

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:flowers: Hi haunted, welcome to AS. I hope being here with us at AS helps you to heal from your pain. It is a safe, loving, supportive community, so I hope you find what you are looking for here.

Best wishes, Paula :flowers::tealribbon:

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anger is the only constant in my life. I really don't want to be angry anymore, but it is all I know. It's really cool that you can be thankful. This site has been very helpful to me as well. Glad you found your way here. continue on the journey to healing. :clap:

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Hi haunted and welcome to AS

I'm glad that you've already been able to get your story out there and begin to start your journey here at AS. I hope that you can begin to learn how to deal and cope with that anger you are feeling, but you have every right to feel it. Many people here would like to be able to access their anger!!

Feel free to PM me if you need anything

take care of yourself

teazle

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Hi Haunted,

Welcome!! :)

I hope you feel at home soon. :flowers:

You have every reason to be angry, hun, you've been hurt. I am sorry for all you went through that made you join us, but I am glad you did find us and then joined. This is a caring and supportive community, I'm sure you'll find lots here to relate to. I hope that being here can help you with your healing, please know we are here for you!

Feel free to ask questions if you have any, ok?

:hug: = if ok??

Jo

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Hi Haunted,

Just wanted to welcome you to AS!! Sorry that you have a reason to be here but glad that you have joined us. I hope that you can find the support that you are looking for here.

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