Hi I Am New And Unsure Of Myself At The Moment

[natalie13]

hello you all

i have found it very very hard to talk about what brought me to this point in time.

i am married and have a child but it was only in my pregnancy of my now 17 year old that what had happened hit me like a bolt of lightning. I realized that there was a black part of me that i kept blocking out and still do. although i did try to explain to my husband he couldn't understand.

i was about 8 or 9 years of age and i was sexually abused by a lodger but it was a woman lodger and

if i ever mention being abused everyone things of a man and i feel i just can't talk because thats not supposed to be. when i tried to explain to my husband he was more interested in the how etc., i don't want to visit that dark place and explain anything... so i suffer in silence. with a lump in my throat most of the time when i get flash backs there are so many things i can't do will not do which i was sort of able to do before my memory came back.. i hope you can help me understand myself.

love

natalie13

[TatteredSunflower]

Natalie -

Welcome to AS. I'm so sorry you went through this and have been dealing with such pain. You will find yourself in good company here. We will listen, and we can understand. There are others here who were also abused by women, and others who kept things hidden for many many years. Others whose partners did not listen or care or know or understand, for many reasons. You are not alone.

When you are ready to talk, this is your space. Feel free to share or to just read, as you wish. You have taken a strong step in coming here and speaking up. You have the strength for the rest of your journey.

Much love and peace,

TS

[Saltywaters]

Hi Natalie,

Welcome!!

I hope you feel at home soon.

Hun, I'm so sorry for what you went through, you didn't deserve it and none of what happened to you is your fault. Here at AS we know that abusers come from both genders, and I want you to know there are others here for which the abuser was a woman. You'll find lots to relate to here, hun, as well as understanding, support and validation. What happened to you was very very wrong, and you deserve the support while you try and heal from it all. You are not alone, hun, and you don't have to go through all this alone either. We're here for you!!

Feel free to ask questions if you have any, ok?

= if ok??

Jo

[oui,mais]

hey!!

Welcome to AS!!

if ok??

[hollygolightly]

Welcome to AS!

The gender of your abuser doesn't matter here, it causes damage either ways.

I wish you all the best and I hope your husband will be more understanding in the future.

Best wishes,

Holly

[probably]

Hello and welcome to AS

[AmyLyn]

Welcome to AS

I hope you find what you're looking for here.

take care

[dodo]

Hi and welcome to AS

best wishes

karen

[littlelost]

and welcome to AS

[lilypad22]

Welcome to AS .

[kimbees324]

natalie13,

It can be a bit scary here at first, but I think that if you take some time to look around, you will be feeling at home in no time. I am glad that you are here and hope to see you around. Take care.

[natalie13]

hello you all

i have found it very very hard to talk about what brought me to this point in time.

i am married and have a child but it was only in my pregnancy of my now 17 year old that what had happened hit me like a bolt of lightning. I realized that there was a black part of me that i kept blocking out and still do. although i did try to explain to my husband he couldn't understand.

i was about 8 or 9 years of age and i was sexually abused by a lodger but it was a woman lodger and

if i ever mention being abused everyone things of a man and i feel i just can't talk because thats not supposed to be. when i tried to explain to my husband he was more interested in the how etc., i don't want to visit that dark place and explain anything... so i suffer in silence. with a lump in my throat most of the time when i get flash backs there are so many things i can't do will not do which i was sort of able to do before my memory came back.. i hope you can help me understand myself.

love

natalie13

[natalie13]

hello you all

i have found it very very hard to talk about what brought me to this point in time.

i am married and have a child but it was only in my pregnancy of my now 17 year old that what had happened hit me like a bolt of lightning. I realized that there was a black part of me that i kept blocking out and still do. although i did try to explain to my husband he couldn't understand.

i was about 8 or 9 years of age and i was sexually abused by a lodger but it was a woman lodger and

if i ever mention being abused everyone things of a man and i feel i just can't talk because thats not supposed to be. when i tried to explain to my husband he was more interested in the how etc., i don't want to visit that dark place and explain anything... so i suffer in silence. with a lump in my throat most of the time when i get flash backs there are so many things i can't do will not do which i was sort of able to do before my memory came back.. i hope you can help me understand myself.

love

natalie13

Thank you all very much for making me feel so welcome.

you all sound so caring and understanding. I am sure with time i will feel more confident and able to talk more.

Thank you once again

natalie13

[daisy7prov356]

Hey Natalie,

I was also abused by a woman and I feel totally ashamed and disgusted That was when I was five and then when I was 23 I was group raped by my boyfriend at the time and two of his friends.

I am now 25 and feel like everday I am just disappearing into nothing. My life is just a mess right now ... so I know exactly how you feel...

Here's to trying to survive one more day...