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Hello From Texas..

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Hello out there..

My name is Mary. I'm 23 now, I live in Texas. I'm hoping to make positive changes in my life.

I recently read this paragraph in a book, and I was shocked that it hadn't occurred to be before:

"All coping mechanisms have an inherent logic and serve an important function. Underlying each coping mechanism is a need. If you discard a coping mechanism without finding another way to understand and meet the underlying need, the change won't last. Therefore you have to identify the need before you can effectively replace a self-destructive coping pattern with a healthier one.

It is not enough to go 'cold turkey' on your coping mechanisms. Approach these changes slowly, with love for yourself and respect for your needs, so you can make changes that will last." -The Courage to Heal Workbook, Laura Davis

It never occurred to me that things like anorexia, drinking, Ambien, excessive sleeping or insomnia could be replaced with POSITIVE coping mechanisms.. and have real, lasting benefits! Why has no therapist ever expressed something so simple and so true to me?!?!

I hope that I can find support from people in this forum, and that I might find some advice about finding a qualified therapist - someone with a strong educational background that also has years of experience.. and isn't a jerk. Haha.

I'm looking forward to spending a lot of time healing and helping others.


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Hi Mary,

Welcome!! :)

I hope you feel at home soon. :flowers:

The "Courage to Heal" book seems to be read here a lot, and people seem to find comfort and tips in it. I haven't read it, so can't say. lol Different things work for different people, and I am glad you found the book as it seems to help you. :) If it works, it works :up:

Feel free to browse around on the site, this is a caring and supportive community, and there's loads of understanding, care, validation and support here. I am sorry for what you went through to have you come here, but I am glad you have joined us, hun. :)

Please feel free to ask any questions you might have, ok?

:hug: = if ok??


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Hey Mary,

And Welcome to AfterSilence :flowers:

Thanks for sharing that quote from that book, it sounds like a very enlightening source of healing information for you, and I am glad you have it, I am also glad that you have come here for some healing and I look forward to getting to know you on the forum site, and in the chat room soon :hug: I hope I can help in your healing :tealribbon:

Please take gentle care, and feel free to PM me anytime,

John :flowers:

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Hi Mary :wave:

Welcome to AS hon..Im glad you found us and that your here and so very sorry for what you have been through thats brought you here..

Im glad your amongst us now

you matter so much

big hugs


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Hi Mary and welcome to AS

I'm glad that something that you have read has made such a change in your thinking and I'm glad that this change has led you here. I hope that you find that we are able to give advice and support as you take your next steps on this journey.

Feel free to PM me anytime

take care of yourself


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Hi Mary,

Welcome to AS. Thanks for sharing that quote, it is something that I have been thinking about a lot lately. I am glad that you have found AS and hope that you find some healing here.



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I'm sorry for whatever circumstances have led you here but I'm glad that you found your way here. I am confident that you will find all of the strength, support and encouragement you need and are looking forward. There are so many amazing people with so many different kinds of experiences and I'm sure that you will be feeling at home in no time. Take care of yourself..I hope to c you around the boards soon.


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I just wanted to extend my :aswelcomesu: support, too! This is a great community, with a lot of supportive and amazing people. I hope that you're able to find support and feel at home here, and I look forward to seeing you around on the boards! :)



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