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Hi, my name is Mish and I never thought I'd be here.

Last weekend, just about a week ago to this hour, I was sexually assaulted by a girl I had been dancing with who wouldn't take no for answer. I've never had to deal with sexual violence that left me so bruised and emotionally damaged before, and I've been shaken and numb all week. I'm struggling to deal with the fact that it was another woman who did this to me, and that she hurt me worse than any man who's tried to push himself on me. I can't find the language to talk about what happened, because the language doesn't exist in mainstream culture. I struggle a lot with the fact that for many people, what happened to me wasn't really rape.

All I feel every day is numb and isolated. I don't leave my room much because I feel so fragile and broken. Another survivor told me that after the isolation comes anger- but I can't even imagine feeling anything so strongly again. I want to get righteously angry at her, but it just doesn't come. It's like being trapped in ice when all you want to feel is fire.

Knowing that I'm not alone in this is the most helpful thing I've found. Thanks for reading.

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The road to recovery or the process of healing is a long and arduous journey. There are many phases to it but let me assure you, it will all come in time. I'm glad that you are here though sorry that you have need to be. I just wanted to make sure that you are not feeling alone. My situation is a bit different...I was abused my entire childhood by several different perpetrators and one of those perpetrators was a woman. I do understand what you are feeling...though maybe right now, you aren't. If I can be of any help, please PM me, OK? Take good care of yourself. :aswelcomesu::hug::hug::hug:

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Hi Mish,

Welcome!! :)

I hope you feel at home soon. :flowers:

I am sorry for what you went through last week, hun..... Here at AS, we know that rapists can be of both sexes, and that the survivor can be too. You'll find more members here that have been raped by women, you are not alone hun. :console: As for language, you have a voice here, and we will listen and respond to it. What happened to you is a crime, and you are not to blame for it, but she is. It's not your fault.... Never.

This is a caring and supportive community, and there's also loads of understanding here, both on the crime itself and the aftermath of it all. Feeling numb is understandable, what was done to you is very painful, and it will take some time to wrap your mind around it. I am glad you have joined us, and I'm sure you'll find all the support you need here.

If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to ask, ok??

:hug: = if ok??


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I'm sorry that you have a reason to be here, but I'm glad you found this site. Please don't feel discouraged healing takes time. And most of usbhere are still healing, I know I am. Just take your time and let it come. Just know that you are not alone and this was not your fault. :luck:


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it's unfortunate that a woman wouldn't recognize that you were uncomfortable with the situation. Some people, I tell you.

I think in life, you need to march on, no matter how hard your heart aches. Your feet will lead you down the right path. Trust your instincts, and know that healing takes time, but eventually you'll get there.

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Hi Mish

welcome here to AS hon..Im so sorry for what you went through and am glad your here amongst us now....

Please know that folks here at AS REALLY do understand and accept and encourage and validate :)

were here for you



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