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Guest fox

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Guest fox

I feel weird joining a forum like this. I'm currently in an LJ Abuse Survivors' Community, however. But this just feels weird. I feel like I shouldn't need this or seek it out, like I'm just waiting for something to happen again.

Welp, I'm 17, female, go by Fox currently.

I was molested at a young age [4-5 maybe earlier, there are still isolated incidents I don't yet wholely remember.] by my grandfather, emotionally & physically abused for years by my father, and now the memories of him sexually abusing me are coming back.

I feel so violated and emotionally ill over knowing this now and having had blocked it out of my mind for so long, for not knowing to do something, for knowing but not having done something, because it was incest, because I still don't know how far it went.

I've just begun to seek help for this in the past week, but already my memories are emerging as I pensively dive in to it.

- Fox

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Dear Fox,

I'm sorry to hear about the pain you are going through. Please let me tell you that you have nothing to blame yourself for and that none of what happened was ever your fault. You are not guilty of anything. It's not uncommon for survivors to repress painful memories of their abuse. It's a self protecting mechanism and at times is what allows you to stay alive. After my rape I repressed a lot of memories - a lot of painful details because my mind wasn't ready to deal with them, so it protected itself by hiding all the things I wasn't ready to remember in a safe corner. The memories started to come back when my mind thought I could finally handle them. You are more courageous than you know and you have more strength than you because you are now remembering. It's part of healing, although very painful to deal with, it's a sign that you are ready to face what happened to you and to heal from it. It takes a lot of courage to unlock your memories from that safe corner of your mind, be proud of the work you are doing and always remember that no matter what happened and no matter how far it went, it was NEVER your fault.

We are here for you, please feel free to lean on us for support :hug:

Hugs,

Vera

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Welcome to AS, I hope that this wonderful place can help in some small way on your healing journey ..

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welcome hugs :hug:

hope u find all the support u need here :throb:

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Guest Elisah

(((fox)))

Welcome to AS! I'm so sorry about what you're going through now. I am dealing with repressed memories that are just starting to pour out of me, too, many years after my abuse was over. It's been such a relief to be part of this community because it has taught me that I'm not alone, I'm not a freak for repressing the memories, and it's not uncommon.

I hope you keep posting. :hug:

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Welcome to AS Fox. I hope you find the support here that you need. What happened to you was in no way your fault. I'm sorry that you have had to go through the pain that you experienced, but I am glad that you found AS. The people here have been a tremendous inspiration and help to me and I hope that AS is as helpful to you as it has been for me.

Lynz

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Hi Fox!

Welcome to AS! I felt weird joining too. I joined about a month ago. And I can tell you that the people here are very loving and supportive. I am sorry that your family hurt you so much. And remember that it wasn't your fault. I honor you for your courage! You are a survivor!!!! I hope you keep posting too!! ~Jill

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Guest lost

Welcome Fox,

I too was awkward. I still am, but the support here is tremendous.

None of what happened to you was your fault.

:hug::hug:

Kathy

Edited by lost

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((((Fox))))

Welcome to the board honey, post or read away and know that you are not alone.

:hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:

Donna =)

Edited by Donnie

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((Fox))

Welcome to AS. I'm so sorry you've had to endure so much hurt and pain. What happened isn't your fault - I'm also on LJ (I'm soft_screams on there - you might have seen me running around).

Take care, and I hope you enjoy your stay at the fourms.

<3

Alex

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