Greetings From A Newbie.

[scinostereo]

Hey everybody.

I'm a 21 year old senior in college and I was raped in September by an acquaintance of mine. It took me a few days to figure out what happened, and it didn't take very long at all for my classwork to suffer really badly, so about a week after it happened I made an appointment with my college's counseling center. At first I was just presenting with anxiety, both because of what happened and because I was really upset that I couldn't get any work done, and I was sleeping all of the time as a coping mechanism. It took a month and a really frustrating encounter with Creepy (the guy) for me to accept that what he did to me was rape and to actually tell Counselor why I was seeing her.

Since then, the sleeping is mostly back to normal unless I get really anxious about something. I started seeing Counselor twice a week, and she's been really helpful. She was with me when I decided to tell our campus public safety what happened; they didn't have an existing file on Creepy and since there was no evidence (by that point it had been 2.5 months since the incident), I didn't see the point in pressing charges with the local police department.

I've had a really good support system here at school. Counselor has been fantastic and I told several of my friends because they could see that I was in really bad shape. A couple of the deans have been really helpful; one of them is also the head of the sexual assault response team, and even though I didn't talk to her until two months after the rape, she's still been good. The other dean works in academic advising and helped me sort out taking incompletes in a few of my classes because I was struggling really badly but taking steps (like seeing Counselor). Also, all of my professors were very helpful even though they didn't know why I was doing so poorly, they just knew I was in counseling. I opted not to tell my parents or family just because I didn't see what good that would do; they don't even know I'm in counseling or that I took incompletes in several courses. I did mention the counseling and incompletes to a couple of my cousins when we went out with my sister last week, and one of my cousins talked to me and guessed that I was raped based on personal experience. She didn't tell any of the family either, and while it was initially really depressing to learn that, it'll be good to have someone in the family for support once I graduate and no longer see Counselor.

At this point, I'm trying to get my life back as much as possible. I recognize that there are going to be ups and downs, but I really don't want this experience to destroy everything I've worked really hard for (education, not being depressed, etc). Counselor is fantastic but I know she won't always be here, and I really don't want to burden my poor cousin with crazy emails and phone calls, and I came across this site and thought it might be a decent form of support. I don't really like to discuss the rape, but I'm sure at some point I'll share that story too.

Thanks, and take care everybody.

RE

[AmyLyn]

Hi and welcome to AS :hug:

I'm sorry for what has brought you here, but I'm glad you've been building a support system and working to put your life back together. This is not easy to deal with, I'm proud of you for taking these steps.

There will be ups and downs like you said, and this place is a good place to run to when you're having a bad day, or you can post about your good days too! If you have anything to say we will listen.

[debbiesoils]

Welcome to AS.

This is a great place to let off steam or to record you achievements in your life, and/or your healing journey. We are here to listen and to support, to laugh and to cry with you.

:hug:

Pm me anytime if you wanna talk.

Debbiesoils

[dodo]

Hi and welcome to AS

best wishes

karen

Edited January 13, 2008 by dodo

[jillian57]

hi!! i'm glad that you found AS! we are all in this together. i look forward to getting to know you!

Jill

[sunflower2]

Welcome to AS and hope you find the support you need here.

kylie

[the_lioness]

Greetings scin and welcome to AS, I think you'll find an excellent community of supportive people here. I went away and came back because this site was so helpful!

I'm sorry "Creepy" did this to you. It must present a real challenge to have the stress of your senior year in college and also balance the emotional turmoil of what has happened. You articulate yourself very well though and it sounds like you are a very strong and couragous person.

Congratulations on being a survivor.

Lots of gentle hugs and support. Take care, and I hope to see you around the boards as you're ready.

-Elle

[teazle]

Hi and welcome to AS

I hope you find what you're looking for here

teazle

[jules1]

HI

Im glad u r a newbie as i am 2!!i was sexually assaulted by two men in july last year and although ive shared some of my story on here i am also a little shy to tell the full extent of what happened.I am finding this sate really helpfull as they are many topic areas covering everything from how u feel to just having a laf!Im proud to be a member and feel that i am supported here by people who have been through the same.I find it really hard to talk to friends as i dont want to burden them and i put on my laid back and happy mask so know one really knows what im feeling, they think im brave and i think im pretty stupid for not being honest and saying yea im havin a really sh*t day actually as i cant sleep and im getting flashbacks!!on here u can say that!gud luck with everything and glad u have the support u need.Im thinking about gettin counselling to but not taken that big step yet and hard as waiting for cps news on if the case is going to court.Take care and pester people u can trust for the support.Dont do a me and do the opposite as is dosnt work!!

Jules1

[-Nicole-]

Welcome to After Silence

It sounds like you have a great support system and a great attitude and drive to heal. For years I just felt like I was going through the motions of life and it was very hard to function like a normal person, but now that I am through the depths of depression and anxiety it was worth it that I pushed through even when the going got tough. I know this board will be a great addition to your support system.

Nicole

[John]

Hey there RE and Welcome to AfterSilence,

Sorry I was away when you joined, and I like to say hello to everyone at AS, so hello

I am looking forward to seeing you at AS, on the site and in chat soon and yes it it's ok to be scared, everyone that is here at AS knows what it feels like to be scared, so we understand , and we can relate and do our best to help you.

Please take care, and PM me if you have any concerns or just want someone to talk to - I will always listen

John.

[scinostereo]

Thanks for the kind words, everybody. I appreciate it.

I neglected to mention that I have a terrible habit of lurking on boards; I do read a lot of posts, but I tend to keep my thoughts to myself. I do the same thing in person - I'll listen to a conversation, and I usually think of responses, but rarely do I actually participate. Counselor is trying to get me to be better about contributing.

Thanks again.

-RE