I Need Advice

[sweetgeorgiagirl0424]

Hi I'm new to this but I need advice. About 2 years ago i had an affair with a married man, myself I am married. Me and my husband were going through a really rough time and even though I'm not proud of it and I regret every minute of it I started dating this man. After about a year of it I tried to end it. I have been trying to end it ever since. The guy is forcing me to perform oral sex on him. He tells me that if I don't do it, he will tell my husband everything that happened between me and him. He also says he will get me fired from my job. He says he has done nothing wrong. He makes me do these acts to him and them he buys me gifts and says that if I don't take them he will punish me and cause problems for me. Then if I take the gift he says there is nothing I can do about him making me perform oral sex on him because he paid me to do it. He then says I'm a prostitute, but I didn't ask for money or gift and I dont want to do it. I have told him I don't want to every time he makes me. I'm really scared of the guy because he has pushed me before and told me he would hurt me. He constantly curses and yells at me. I don't want to lose my husband but I don't know what to do. Any advice is really helpful. Thank you!

[Saltywaters]

Welcome!!

That sounds like a very tough situation to be in. It is sexual and emotional abuse, mixed in with backmail...... I understand that you don't want to do this hun, who would?

I hope I'm not making you feel worse by saying this, but I suppose if I was you I'd come clean with my hubby, and tell him what happened after you tried to break up with this man. I would discuss the possibility of pressing charges, if you feel that that is something you'd want. Of course, you can do this when you are up to it, and when you feel you can handle that. Not before, and not for someone else.

I wish you luck, and pls feel free to post, and post some more. This is a very supportive group of people, that will not judge you.

Jo

[dodo]

Depending on where you are - an organisation like vicitm support or domestic violence could well offer you a lot of advice.

This is blackmail and I am so sorry that you are going through this

best wishes

karen

[FUBAR1]

In my humble opinion it looks like you will have to come clean to your hubby sparing any details and ask for forgiveness. Then you can take the battle to the legal athorities about the harrassment. I know it will be touch but the only way sometimes to eliminate your deamons is to expose them. peace and good luck where here for you

[fall]

I think they said it all so I will send hugs :bighug:

[sweetgeorgiagirl0424]

I'm scared and I don't want to lose my husband. I didn't mention but the guy is a cop and we both work for a sheriffs office.

[sisterinsurvival]

Yahoo, !
We love you, and are glad you've found AfterSilence!

[John]

Hey,

Im really sorry about you situation, but he is doing wrong. You shouldnt have to do anything your not comfortable with.

Please consider the options you have in reporting him as this is illegal in most places.

I hope it gets better soon

Please take care and come here anytime you feel you need

-biggestfoot- John

[afireinside]

Others have offered advice so I'll just welcome you. I even made a sign

Edited November 28, 2007 by afireinside

[Katia60]

Hi,

It sounds like you are in a hard situation. I would tell, I think, cause there doesn't seem to be another way out of this.

This person is sexually abusing you. In no way is this a consensual relationship. Blackmailing someone for sex is abuse and a crime. It is even worse that it is someone who is supposed to be lawabiding and protective of others.

Please stay safe and take care of yourself. You deserve to be safe. I hope that this will soon be resolved.

Kate

Edited December 2, 2007 by Katia60