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Joey G.

Hi Everyone

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It has been almost 30 years since I was sexually molested for over 2 years by my neighbor (who I thought was a friend) and his father. I've never so much as uttered a single word to ANYONE about it EVER until now! I am 36 years old, married with 2 children of my own now. I've made it through, but feel as though it forever changed who I am. I currently take medication for anxiety & depression. My wife always questions me, wondering what I could possibly be depressed about...everything in our life is picture perfect! I wish I could come clean about it but I swore this was something I would take to the grave without ever telling anyone.

I was so young, so innocent, and these two monsters opened a door of disgust so early in my life! Why? Why me? I just wish I could've had a normal childhood - playing baseball, riding bikes with friends and eventually grow into adolescence and learn about the birds & The bees the proper way. Like every other normal boy I knew. But NO - I was thrown in head first without even time to blink an eye!

Ever since those early years I've often found it hard to make friends. I trusted no one. The friends I did make, I would eventually cut off for no reason whatsoever! I Don't really know what else to say right now except for hello everyone - I'm glad I found this place. And finally was able to let some of my demons out!

Side Note: The father has since passed away (no tears there). And the younger neighbor is also married with children as well and actually lives in the same town I do! (GO FIGURE)

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:aswelcomesu::notalone::supportu::aswelcomesu:

Hi Welcome to AS :flowers: I am sorry for what you have been through in your life. I am glad that you found us here. This is a wonderful place for support. I look forward to seeing you around the boards. Take care

:hug::hug:

Sad

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HI and welcome to AS

best wishes

karen

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Hello there and welcome :hug:

Now is the time to begin your healing :flowers:

Something really struck a cord when reading your post, I dont know what it was but you came across as an old soul who has been through a lot. You are so strong for hiding it for toooo long. Hopefully now is your chance to figure out things :hug::hug::hug:

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HI and welcome to AS

best wishes

karen

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WOW! this is great. Thank you all for your kind words. I was actually affriad to come back and see what people wrote!

Here's the thing - My neighbor was about 5 years older then me so I guess he was 10 at the time. He would force me to perform oral sex on him and inturn would perform in on me. I never considered it to be homosexual because he'd hand me playboy magazine and such to look at while he was doing so. This went on for quite sometime before I found out what was really going on.

It turned out that he was basically recruiting me for his father. He tought me what I need to know then passed me off to his old man. The father always threatened to kill my parents if I mentioned a word of this to anyone, which is why I never came forward back in the day.

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:hug: hi Joey, welcome to AS. I am a CSA survivor too, I hope being here will help you. it has helped me a lot,

best wishes, Paula :hug:

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Hi and welcome to AS

I hope you find what you're looking for here

take care of yourself

teazle

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welcome

you are not alone anymore.

good for you for telling.

i am sorry they did that to you.

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Hello and welcome.

What happened to you was terrible and unfair.

You show great courage for expressing your feelings and what happened.

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Welcome brother you are needed here.

Blessings, it took immense courage to come here.

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Welcome to After Silence :)

I am sorry you are struggling with this secret you have kept inside you for so long. I hope being here can help you feel less alienated and depressed. You are certainly not alone. I can so much relate to pushing people away for no reason and the trust issues. Again, I hope you find what you need here at AS.

Nicole :throb:

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Hey

welcome, i only just joined and this site seems great and everyone is realy nice

i hope you find the support you need and deserve here

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Wow, what an awesome first post. However, I am sorry for all that you have been through, and I'm glad you're here. Welcome to AS!

melissa

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Hey Joey,

You belong here. Thanks for joining us. There are lots of caring souls on here. Take what is helpful for your healing.

take care,

kevin

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Welcome to AS!!!! I think that you will find this site to be warm, comforting and informative. I think that you will find the members on the site to be strong, courageous, willing to share and most of all non-judgemental. I have always believed that there is strength in numbers and on this site...we are as strong as ever. One thing I learned very quickly after joining AS...you dont have to fear speaking what is on your mind as there is another individual out there who knows EXACTLY what you are thinking and feeling because they have truly been there too. I am here for you. PM me anytime. Again, welcome to the site and know your "journey" is not alone. :hug:

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Thank you all for such positive feed back. I means a lot to be able to finally get a little bit of this off my chest/mind!

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Well, don't stop now bro, your on a roll! LOL

Seriously we're here if you need us!

Blessings! "D"

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