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BlueWings

Bluewings Is Back :)

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Hey you guys :) Just wanted to let you know that I'm in South Dakota finally. Today we'll be apartment hunting after he's done getting a bunch of sign-back-in stuff done. It'll be an exciting three weeks here, and despite what anyone tells you: it's beautiful here!

I definitely don't want to leave. Though am a bit concerned about having three weeks of no therapy appointments. Any advice on that folks?

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Hi and welcome back!!

Use all the support you can from here? There is someone here 24/7!!

best wishes

karen

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welcome back! :D

Umm...try to keep a log of things that you'll want to discuss with your therapist when you get back. And try to stay strong, would be my best guess!

Best wishes

Melissa

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Welcome back! You were missed.

Best way to get through some weeks without therapy is to keep busy! Glad to have you Brit.

-Elle :hug:

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Thanks you guys! It's not too hard actually, it's just that what we're working on (my T's and I) is the relationship with my parents and I. It's fine in most aspects, but being twenty, they still treat me very much as if I'm twelve. My opinions and such don't really count for much and it's all written off as that I'm young and they know better than me. Their overprotectiveness has caused me to have such bad self-esteem (which, the Self-Esteem Workbook is helping me in miraculous ways)... and it's very hard to know that Miles is likely to propose the three weeks that I'm here and he and I are fine with it - his parents are fine with it... but my parents want him to come to Florida in a suit, with the ring, and sit down with them both and ask for permission to marry me. Firstly, whether they said yes or no - I'd say yes. And he knows this. Secondly, I respect that he and I both respect my parents, but it is a two way street and if they're going to treat this relationship consistently as if it's some junior high puppy love thing... well, I hope then that Miles realizes that we, as a couple, gotta do what we gotta and want to do.

Thirdly, what they want for me is not as important as what *I* want for me. I've emphasized and nicely said this in an e-mail to them, and my mum had a great parade with that one. Saying that my moving to South Dakota is my way of erasing her and my dad, their efforts as parents, and my favourite lines in the e-mail were

"...what did we do wrong?"

and

"You won't understand until you have a child when you make an effort to make home as comfortable as you can, and they don't appreciate it."

These were both totally uncalled for, and really quite off-topic. It made me so mad!! I don't know how to talk with her about it. No matter what I say she goes back to the whole erasing thing. I'm not erasing them - I'm growing up. I've said this, but yet again, she goes back and basically writes the same e-mail over and over, and emphasizing that she wishes to talk on the phone about it instead.

She's also mad that Miles and I "planned" this and didn't have the courtesy to talk to either one of them about it.

(Background info: my dad travels EXTENSIVELY and Miles has only been with my dad twice.)

She also forgets that Miles has a job here as an Airman... and that he can't just continue taking leave so he can appease their whims.

I'm so freakin' tired of this.

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hi bluewings, i'm laura. we haven't met yet, so i thought i would introduce myself.

it sounds like maybe you have a lot of "newness" to adjust too. i hope that things go smoothly for you. it also sounds like you have lots of people here who are glad to have you back. i bet that will make your next 3 weeks go by quickly.

:flowers:

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hi my sweet friend,

:hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: If you ever need anything...I am here for you.

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welcome back :flowers:

I am sorry that your parents are still treating you like a child I know how frustrating that can be. I hope that they come to understand that you are an adult and you have to be able to make your own decisions about your life and how you are going to live it. best of luck with everything. Take care

:hug::hug:

Sad

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Hi. We haven't met yet, but I think you sound like you are going to do great. Keep setting boundaries with your parents. They will keep trying to test them until they resolve to the fact that you aren't budging. I have had the same circumstances and they will get it. Hang in there.

Sadkon

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I'm so glad to have you back, I missed you in chat! Hope we'll see a lot more of eachother :D

Lots of love and hugs,

-Elle

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