New Here, Elle-o All.

[the_lioness]

I'm new to this website so I thought I'd introduce myself a bit. I'm Elle and I found this website after realizing that there arn't any NH support groups for sexual abuse. I repeat. There arn't ANY New Hampshire support groups. Crazy huh? My therapist suggested I find a group of survivors somewhere though: and with a quick "google", I found you.

I was sexually abused from the time I was 8 until I turned 14. I'm 18 now, and my case is unique because my perpertraitor was a woman. She was a family friend that worked at my father's church. My father is a United Methodist minister-- so we lived next door.

I was also raped when I was 7 by a friend's dad. I interperet the two experiances very differently however. One was violent, and felt terrible. The other felt like love, and was far more sexual.

Anyway-- I'm trying to figure out how to move on with my life. To let the abuse define who I am is to let them both win. I've got too much to live for to let them do that.

I'm very glad and proud to meet you all. I've read some of this "newbie" introductions and you all are fighters.

-Elle (the lioness)

"Let the move loving one be me." -W.H. Auden

[dodo]

Hi and welcome to AS

best wishes

karen

[Kalalau]

Welcome to AS, Elle

Sounds like you are quite the empowered one. I look forward to seeing you around the board and in chat, and getting to know you better. Take your time in looking around and speak as much or as little as you need.

Hugs,

KM

[Saltywaters]

Welcome here.

Jo

[angelic]

HI Elle, Welcome to AS. I'm Paula and I'm a survivor of CSA also. Glad to know you.

[the_lioness]

Thanks everyone for replying so quickly. I means a lot.

[forever]

heya and welcome to AS - even though the reasons arent good i'm glad you were able to find us ans i hope you can find the help and support you need and deserve here - everyones really friendly and supportive so feel free to post when youre ready and able

welcome to the group!

forever

[the_lioness]

I guess I don't get it, why arn't the reasons good?

I needed a support group and I found one. I've started the healing process (I'm not in the emergency stage anymore), and my therapist knew I was going to check online. I think those are great reasons.

[mingo]

hi Elle welcome

[-Nicole-]

Elle-O, Elle

Welcome to After Silence

I am sorry for what you have been through, and I know how you feel about having no local support groups, the resources where I live are limited at best. I am glad your google search landed you here, this is a wonderful, supportive, compassionate and non-judgmental community. I hope you will find what you are looking for here.

Nicole

[drowning000]

welcome to AS

[Justice Fighter]

Welcome to AS huni

first i would like to say google is like totally and utterly a life saver- i found AS through google to :D

and second i would like to wish you the very best throughout your healing, i hope you find everything that you need here

sending you strength and compassion

JT

[melissa]

Welcome to AS!

I wish you the best, you seem to be a very empowering person. That's a wonderful trait to have. I hope you find everything you need here, it sucks there aren't an NH support groups.

Take care,

Melissa

[Guest]

Hi

I know I've already said hi via pm, but I just wanted to welcome you here.

I think what forever meant by saying the reasons we are here aren't good is that we are all here because we have had to endure sexual assault/abuse/rape in our lives. The fact that we have all found this place of support and healing is good.

~Kelly

[Lindy]

Hi Elle,

Welcome to After Silence.

[dale]

hi ellie welcome to as,I too was sxeually abused by my "real father from the age of 5 until I was 16.He started passing me around to his drunk friends for money when I was 11.My father was very abusive to us all,especially my mom.He would beat her every time he got drunk.My mom would call the cops,but back in the early 60's there wasn't much help.The cops would always ask her what did she do to make him so mad.I am the oldest of 9 children & I was the first one to be abused by him.He always told me that if I told anyone he would beat my mom to death & put the rest of us in a home for wayward kids.I believed him,because he was that mean.I did try to tell my school counselor & teachers when I got to middle school,but I got no help there either.

I was also abused by my husband of 23 yrs.He's been dead now for 6 yrs & 7 mths.I go to therapy once a week & I take anti-depressants every day.I am 51 yrs old & I still relive the abuse every night through my nightmares.There are some days when I can't stop crying.I found AS through a book my therapist gave me called "the courage to heal".Both the book & AS has helped me a lot.I am learning how to fight harder against all the pain ,anger,shame & nightmares.I am doing a little better now.I just recently enrolled in an online college & I now have something to work for everyday.

It may not seem like it now,But you will be able to deal with what happened to you a lot better with time.You just have to stay strong & fight.You will never forget,but you will "SURVIVE".

Welcome aboard! Dale

[the_lioness]

Thank you all so much for welcoming me. Your outreach of love and compassion is irreplacable.

Thank you especially to Kelly and to Dale. You both have touched my heart with your willingness to talk openly with me.

God Bless you all.

-Elle

[sisterinsurvival]

Yahoo, !
We love you, and are glad you've found AfterSilence!