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I Am New And Eager/scared

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Hello, my name is Rhea, I am 20 years old and I am literally just beginning the healing process.

I recently started individual therapy and have been longing for something where I can talk to other's who have been through similar things.

My father sexually abused me, but I was never raped or anything. I feel guilty even saying that I was sexually abused because when I hear about other women who's father's full on raped them and stuff, I feel like what happened to me was nothing, and I have nothing to complain about.

I know that I was "molested", but I still have a hard time seeing it that way, because I was not a child when it happened, I was a teenager, so for now I prefer to say "sexually abused".

When I read stories (like Alice Sebold's memoir LUCKY which I loved) about women who have suffered sexual abuse, I find myself feeling guilty about relating to the story, because what happened to me was so much more mild. I mean, Alice Sebold was brutally raped and almost killed! I feel like saying that I relate is an insult to her.

I guess that I am just buying into my parents (especially my moms) bs about how what happened to me was no big deal and "should consider myself lucky that it wasn't worse".

I long to tell my story, but am afraid that people will think I am making a big deal out of nothing, or that it's not nearly as bad as what happened to them. :unsure:

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The main thing to remember as a survivor is to attempt to try not to compare your abuse to others. It hurt you, it upset you, it changed your life completely when it happened. Now here you are trying to regain the strength and put the pieces back together, just like everybody else here.

Make yourself comfortable, look around a bit. Everybodys story is different, but the pain is the same.

Welcome to AS. :bighug: :bighug:

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Hi Rhea :hi:

:aswelcomesu:

Everyones story is different hun....Everyones pain matters

~Scrat

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Hi Rhea.

I agree with Donna. Try not to compare your story to others'. They are incomparable. Different things effect people in different ways. What happened to you was huge and it matters. Don't try to make it appear insignificant because you feel like other people have been through worse.

You can be greatful that it wasnt worse but still know that it was bad if that makes sense? It happened to you, this is your hurts, and it can be just as painful for you as it was for Alice Sebold despite it being very different.

I hope you find what you are looking for here at AS. Take care

~Silenced~

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Hi Rhea - welcome to AS. You are one of us - survivors - and you belong here. :notalone:

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Thank you all.

The comment about being grateful that it wasn't worse but still knowing it was bad makes sense. Thank you for helping me to feel at ease.

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My father sexually abused me, but I was never raped or anything. I feel guilty even saying that I was sexually abused because when I hear about other women who's father's full on raped them and stuff, I feel like what happened to me was nothing, and I have nothing to complain about.

Okay little sister, welcome, and do not ever utter this phrase again.

We are as one here, no better, no worse, and never, never any less a survivor than someone else!

You are loved and needed here.

Blessings

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I can only echo what the others have put, I have always said that abuse is cause and effect, we all have slightly different causes but sadly end up with similar effects .. Welcome to AS, I hope it a help :hug::aswelcomesu:

Edited by Ihavemadeit

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:flowers::flowers: hi Rhea, you are very welcome. Dont minimise your expereinces and think they are not important. Everyone here on this board is behind you and willing to help in any way. Good luck in your healing. :hug::hug:

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Abuse is Abuse no matter how it happened and it affects everyone differently. I hope you find all the support you need here in AS welcome. Ang

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