Hidden Face, Hurting Heart

[HiddenAndHurting]

Hey Everyone,

I just joined up yesterday. I'm part of a survivor's mailing list, but I'd really like to talk with more survivors. I'm 18, and in 26 days I will finally be moving away from my abusers for good. I'm moving to South Africa with my fiance (he's from there). He's been my main supporter, and the main reason that I can call myself a "survivor".

I am a survivor of incest by both my father and mother, including csa and rape earliest memories aged 2 up through age 11. I've also been emotionally, verbally, psychologically, and spiritually abused by them my whole life. Resulting from this, I'm also a survivor of years of minor self-harm (I wasn't aware of how to categorize my actions at the time), two years of major self-harm, a lifetime of depression, probable ptsd (no formal diagnosis), panic attacks, and 3 suicide attempts.

I only started really remembering the incest in detail last year, but the memories I have are clear, and I have dealt with the affects of it my whole life. I always suspected that something "wasn't right" but I blamed myself for it until I started remembering.

Looking forward to meeting you all and sharing with you/learning from you.

[afireinside]

Hi H&H and welcome to AS.

[ivanak56]

Hey welcome to AS. I'm so happy you're finally getting away from them. Trust me, from now on things will be better. It will always be a struggle but you're on your way to recovery. If you ever need someone to talk to pm me anyime. Take care and stay strong.

Always Ivana

[whitedove]

Welcome to After Silence.

I am so glad you found the site and wish to welcome you.

Whitedove

[HiddenAndHurting]

Thank you all so much for your welcome, and thank you Ivana for your encouragement- I'm definitely looking forward to leaving this behind. I know I'll still struggle, but it will be wonderful not to have my parents hanging over my head.

[Katia60]

Hi,

Welcome to AS. It is nice to meet you. I'm sorry for what you have gone through. I think that it is great that you are moving away.

I wanted to mention that there is a thread in the research and information forum called mother daughter sexual abuse, that you might want to read and perhaps post to.

Good and healing thoughts to you.

Kate

[holdingthechild26]

Hello there and Welcome to AS, I hope you find all that you are looking for here..this is a great group of individual. So once again Welcome!! Edited April 14, 2007 by holdingthechild26

[phoenix rising]

Hi!

So glad you found this site. You''ll find a lot of support here. And I'm glad you're moving away!

Blessings,

[AmyLyn]

Welcome to AS.

take care

Edited April 14, 2007 by SnowWhiteQueen16

[tiger]

Hi

I am also a survivor of incest by both parents so wanted to extend a warm welcome to you. From my own experience moving away is one of the best things I did so I hope it helps you too. There is quite a lot of information 'out there' on mother daughter abuse - if you haven't accessed any and would like to then I'd be happy to help or to chat in general.

Take care and safe hugs if ok

[sueellen]

Hi and welcomr to AS. May you find the support you are looking for.

Sue

[Guest]

Hi. Welcome to AS.

[summerb]

Welcome to A.S this is a great place for support.Good Luck on your move and a start to a better life.

Take Care,Summerb

[Butterflyangelbaby]

Hey Welcome to AS

:hug:

[angelic]

Welcome, and lots of luck for your future