Hi

[Verity]

So this is it. I made a promise to myself a last week. A friend of mine was applying for a promotion for the 4th time. She was nervous and scared and as the week went on became increasingly anxious and had a panic attack. She said she might drop out. I made myself a promise that day: If she made it to her interview, I would take the first steps in helping myself. She had her interview (and got the promotion), and I wrote a letter. Coincidently, it was to the same friend. This letter has things in it that I still don't have the courage to say outloud, but that I want to be heard. This letter is my first step. I'm giving it to her tomorrow.

I'm not exactly new here, I have posted a couple of times. But I finally feel ready to say 'Hello'. People here are some of the most courageous people i've met. Reading your stories and seeing your strength is helping me find my own. I know i'm going to be a quiet poster, I really don't know what to say most of the time. But i'm finding my way, I guess.

So, this is me. My name is Verity. I was raped when I was 17 by someone I considered a friend. Up until recently I tired to forget the whole thing, but I've realised lately that it is becoming harder to forget. I think i'm ready to help myself, because if I go on the way I was - I think it could be dangerous. I feel so scared about what is going to happen when I start confronting these thoughts in my head, but it needs to be done. I need to move on. I'm scared about how the people i've chosen to tell (and there are only 3) are going to react. I'm scared about finding help after 6years of not talking about it. I think i'm just really scared.

I guess that is it. I never meant it to be this long.... but thank-you for reading a little about me.

[Atlantis]

Hello Verity,

Welcome to AS. You are very brave in starting to come to terms with this. There is a private area of the forum for members only where your privacy is more secure and you can feel more comfortable with posting - just take your time and take good care of yourself and we will always be here for you.

Atlantis

[dodo]

hi and welcome to AS

best wishes

karen

[Survivors sanctuary]

Welcome to AS ..

[drowning000]

Welcome to AS

Remember, you are strong.. you proved that to me in your post and by coming here.. its a big step and im glad you made it with us.

Racheal :hug:

[teazle]

Hi verity

welcome to AS. I hope you can find what you're looking for here

take care of yourself

teazle

[keihl]

[ayesha]

Hi Verity

Welocme to AS.

Take care

[Becky]

[Katia60]

Hi,

Welcome to AS.

Good and healing thoughts to you.

Kate

[I_Won]

Hi Verity, welcome to AS.

[Guest]

Welcome to AS, Verity.

[Verity]

Well I did it. I gave the letter to my friend and it has had the most positive outcome. I feel lighter. Somebody who knows me, knows what happened. And they are there for me and don't think less of me. It makes me cry, not because i'm sad, but because I was believed.

Thank-you for the welcome guys, I don't think I know just yet how lucky I am to have stumbled onto this forum. It came along at just the right time for me.

[Ash.....]

Glad you're here, Verity, and welcome!

Ash

[selene]

Hallo Verity

Posting this intro must have taken quite a bit of courage. I'm proud of you. I hope that this place will help you along on your journey, like it has helped me and many others.