I'm new

[shellybelly]

im new to this so i wanted to introduce myself im michelle or shelly whatever floats your boat im starting to come to grips with being molested by my stepfather after 11 yrs of pushing my feelings down and it almost costing me my marriage because i made a stupid mistake due to my inability to deal with certain situations in a rational manner i have decided enough is enough i will not give up my whole life because im to scared to deal with my pain and confusion ive been opening up to the only person i can trust my husband but its really hard for him to comprehend how im feeling. i have some questions but im not sure if know how to word them. or if i even know what they are at this point there is so much stuff floating arround in my head its hard to pull out just one specific thing at a time. even typing this much is a big step for me ive never been able to open up about anything that happened to me as a child. is it normal for a person that was a victim of incest to act out sexually i had some issues with this in my past and never understood why? also is it normal to seek out attention from other men thus this is what situation im in currently i had sent explicit pics of myself to a man i didnt know and still dont know fully why exactly i did it. my husband says if i dont figure outy what is wrong and start to fix it he doesnt know if he can stay with me because i hurt him so badly. i know that i did but i dont know how to fix me. ok ive blabbed too much already. i know thats not a real great introduction but i need some advice i dont even know where to begin

[Clarissa]

Hi Michelle,

Welcome to AS. I hope you find what you are looking for. This is a really supportive place, and everyone is so kind. As for not being able to pinpoint what you're thinking or feeling exactly, i totally hear you on that one... i'm in the same boat at the moment... you're definitely not alone, sweetie. Sending you lots of hugs. I think you've made a really brave step coming here... hang in there! We'll make it through together!

Clarissa

[lil'angel]

Welcome to AS! This is a really great place! I hope you like it as much as I do! Good luck! Keep fighting!

[Aqua]

Welcome to AS. I haven't been here that long but already I have learned a lot. I just keep asking questions and these people somehow know what I'm saying even if I don't know how to ask it. I wish you the best. Take care and be patient.

[shellybelly]

thank you guys so muchi already feel so welcomed here i am really glad i found this place i have a feeling it is exactly what i was looking for

[Donna]

Welcome to the group.

[Leah™]

Greetings and welcome to After Silence my dear!

I’m glad you found us.. I think you will find that this is a very friendly and supportive place to be. I hope you find it incredibly helpful as I have.

I’m looking forward to seeing you around the forums and getting to know you a little better.

Feel free to PM me if you ever need to talk. I’m always here to listen.

Take care and best wishes for 2007 hun

Much love from Leah XxX

[shellybelly]

again i thank you all for the warm welcome and greetings im finding myself talking to my husband more and more about this place wich also becomes a great lead in to share my thoughts about what happened to me so i guess even though today was very raw and emotional i cried alot but it felt GOOD when it was out in the open there is still alot more work to be done i know that but i am excited and hopeful for what my future holds its a start at least.

my husband expressed his wish for me to find a therapist or counsler of some kind to talk to because he doesnt want this to ruin or take away anymore of my life it has already consumed nearly half my life so far thats all im willing to give it i am DETERMINED this time i will prevail and be strong i just have to find a way to discuss this with my mom because even though i feel like she did me wrong ive never told her and we actually are pretty close and i have teenage siblings to think about as well they do no know about their father and i worry that they might find out the hard way because my mother is still married to him and he lives in the same house i am so worried all the time that he will do this to my sister or eventually my daughter i dont know what to do i am worried all the time

[Katia60]

Hi Michelle,

Welcome here. I'm glad that you are here.

Yes acting out sexually is very common among sexual abuse survivors. I'm sorry that you are struggling with that. I used to flirt alot and really loved it, but was mostly a celibate, as survivors tend to be out of balance, either too much or too little of something, hence the celibacy or the sexual acting out, the overeating or the eating disorders, etc.

I would recommend that you get a copy of "the courage to heal" as it is very good at letting someone know all the issues that are common among survivors and how to start doing healing work.

As well a therapist is a good idea. I'm glad that you are here and are talking.

Gentle and healing thoughts to you.

Kate

[shellybelly]

hi guys i let my hubby use my account to post in the secondary survivors thread he needs help understanding what makes me tick why i do the stupid things i do sometimes and if you guys could help him like you have done for me i would be forever grateful

[shanon]

[Amelia]

((((((((((((Shelly))))))))))))) Welcome to AS!

I'm pretty new here too, it's a wonderful supportive place and I already understand myself a lot more. I've also done a lot of acting out sexually, and a lot of stupid things. I can totally relate to what you've said in your post.

Feel free to PM me if you need to talk. I've found talking really helps... I've been crying a lot too, but I'm starting to feel more alive. I've just set the wheels in motion to start therapy.

Hope to get to know you better!

Amelia

[Lina Lu Lu Belle]

Welcome to AS shelly

[Donna]

hi guys i let my hubby use my account to post in the secondary survivors thread he needs help understanding what makes me tick why i do the stupid things i do sometimes and if you guys could help him like you have done for me i would be forever grateful

Sweetie, it would actually be best that your husband signs up for his own account. Secondaries are only allowed in certain forums. While you feel that it is okay for him to use it is fine but we prefer one member per account.

Donna =)

[shellybelly]

yeah he did sign up for his own account i figured it was best because i know how sensitive a subject it is for me and it was hard to even tell him as much as i have and i understand that others feel the same way about an outsider being able to see what they posts he is gonna repost it later when i finally get off the computer LOL

[AmyLyn]

Sorry for my lateness...lol. Just wanted to add my welcome too.

So...Welcome!

heehee...If you need something we are here to listen.

take care

[jm_812006]

HI, and welcome. i saw your husbands post and i did reply to it. i thought it might help him to have another secondaries opinion. if i can help in any way, he's free to ask me. like i told him, i hope you two work things out. good luck!

[Haullie]

yeah he did sign up for his own account i figured it was best because i know how sensitive a subject it is for me and it was hard to even tell him as much as i have and i understand that others feel the same way about an outsider being able to see what they posts he is gonna repost it later when i finally get off the computer LOL

Probably a good idea that he signed up for a different name because I was very concerned about his post and although you gave him permission and we know now he didn't state so, so it caused concern as to whether it was okay or not in your eyes. Plus you deserve your privacy.

Welcome to AS sweetie, glad to have you on board. Hugs!

Haullie

[shellybelly]

haulie thanks for looking out for us it really does mean alot maybe more than you know